Friday, January 27, 2012


Under the light of God…

The reflection of my faith is not equal to yours, although my belief is unshaken…
My relationship with faith lacks commitment in demonstration, even though my loyalty is equal to yours…
Is it because I believe in “Providence”?
Is it because I don’t think “He” can, but I know “He” will?
Is it because I’m confident of his unconditional love for me?

Does the fact that “I believe”, make it okay to practice my faith at random? Does the fact that I know God is a God of love and forgiveness, make it okay that I only reach out to him in times of need, weakness, worry, and urgency? And is it okay, that most of the time when I do voice (high and low) my gratitude to him, it’s usually after He blesses me and answers my needs?
I think its okay… Only because I know he sees beyond the surface.

I spent 9 years in a year-round boarding school with nuns and priests. Not a single day went by without me being thankful for the blessing of life. There were morning prayers, before school lesson prayers, before meal prayers, evening services, and before bedtime prayers. I’ve learned about faith, God and the need to live a godly life. When I left the school, I didn’t leave Christianity. I went on to a weekly Catholic boarding school with the same “regiment”. I went home over the weekend, where the church was only a 3 minute walk from home and an every Sunday morning visit. Late in my teens is when I grew rebellious towards the institution of church, but not rebellious towards my belief in God and his steady divine favour…
But why is it that my personal relationship with him (through no third party) has become so seldom? Again, should I rely on him seeing beyond the surface? In the challenging moments of my life, I know who to reach out to. He will show me the solutions and answers. In the happy moments, I know who allowed the gifts and I’ll forever be thankful…
He has never let me down, even though I don’t visit him as much as I should. We make decisions in life that some may consider detrimental to our relationship with God, but only He can see deep down into our souls. He can see that our intentions and feelings are pure, and while you doubt yourself, his faith in you is constant.

Today, while I was talking about the subject of my next blog, someone said to me very candidly that he “doesn’t believe in faith because he lives a day-to-day, simple life”. I felt for him, puzzled by how one can go through life, not knowing or believing that someone has planned your path. Even though, along the way, you may stay on it or happen to get lost, “He” will always be there, steer you right and have your back.
But then I thought that sometimes ignorance is bliss; maybe because of, or regardless of his innocence of the power of God in one’s life, he obviously lives the life of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, which God acknowledges as a reflection of him…

Is there any right or wrong way to live your relationship with God, to serve your faith and walk under his light ? 

Love always,


  1. This is a sensitive subject!

  2. Very interesting stuff! God is all about relationship, while (I think) people are looking for religion.

  3. This piece cut me DEEP!!! Those first 2 paragraphs made me take a long, hard look at the man in the mirror. i was raised in a Seventh Day Adventist church. I didn't rebel against the church or my teaching when i got older. I just took the easy, wide path of sin. I too beleive that God is there for me even when I don't live me life according to him. But i beleive that i have to still hold myself accountable. Conrad


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