Under the light of God…
The reflection of my faith is not
equal to yours, although my belief is unshaken…
My relationship with faith lacks commitment
in demonstration, even though my loyalty is equal to yours…
Is it because I believe in “Providence
Is it because I don’t think “He”
can, but I know “He” will?
Is it because I’m confident of his
unconditional love for me?
Does the fact that “I believe”,
make it okay to practice my faith at random? Does the fact that I know God is a
God of love and forgiveness, make it okay that I only reach out to him in times
of need, weakness, worry, and urgency? And is it okay, that most of the time
when I do voice (high and low) my gratitude to him, it’s usually after He
blesses me and answers my needs?
I think its okay… Only because I
know he sees beyond the surface.
I spent 9 years in a year-round
boarding school with nuns and priests. Not a single day went by without me being
thankful for the blessing of life. There were morning prayers, before school
lesson prayers, before meal prayers, evening services, and before bedtime
prayers. I’ve learned about faith, God and the need to live a godly life. When
I left the school, I didn’t leave Christianity. I went on to a weekly Catholic
boarding school with the same “regiment”. I went home over the weekend, where
the church was only a 3 minute walk from home and an every Sunday morning
visit. Late in
my teens is when I grew rebellious towards the institution of church, but not
rebellious towards my belief in God and his steady divine favour…
But why is it that my personal
relationship with him (through no third party) has become so seldom? Again,
should I rely on him seeing beyond the surface? In the challenging moments of my
life, I know who to reach out to. He will show me the solutions and answers. In
the happy moments, I know who allowed the gifts and I’ll forever be thankful…
He has never let me down, even though
I don’t visit him as much as I should. We make decisions in life that some may
consider detrimental to our relationship with God, but only He can see deep
down into our souls. He can see that our intentions and feelings are pure, and
while you doubt yourself, his faith in you is constant.
Today, while I was talking about
the subject of my next blog, someone said to me very candidly that he “doesn’t believe
in faith because he lives a day-to-day, simple life”. I felt for him, puzzled
by how one can go through life, not knowing or believing that someone has
planned your path. Even though, along the way, you may stay on it or happen to
get lost, “He” will always be there, steer you right and have your back.
But then I thought that sometimes
ignorance is bliss; maybe because of, or regardless of his innocence of the
power of God in one’s life, he obviously lives the life of joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, which God acknowledges as a
reflection of him…
Is there any right or wrong way to
live your relationship with God, to serve your faith and walk under his light
?
Love always,
RosieSandz
