Monday, January 2, 2012

Inspiration... Motivation... Still I Rise...

So in my previous post I said life was about creating the person you were meant to be... Reading over my that blog, I had the giggles as I found myself a bit hypocritical. Hypocritical not in an insincere way but more so as -if I have the insight on what to do why haven't I mastered the full ME yet?
Even better how do you go thru life knowing what some of your true longings are and not do anything about it? How do you ignore daily signs which remind you of aspirations you had and still have?...

I always loved to read. Loved it to the point I knew if I wasn't going to become a forensic psychiatric I was going to be a novelist (since my early teens I always held journals).Well between not being the best scholar, loving to dance and partying; reality had to sink in and by my early twenties psychiatry was no longer part of my future. Ha!
However, reading stayed a constant interest. 1992 when I came to the US, I had to discover and build a new catalog of English writers/books to keep me going. Naturally I was geared toward African American writers and the history of the culture. I loved the way ( in most fiction or non fiction books), the writers background were clearly the essence of the book. Loved how easily you could relate because their stories could easily be your story. They didn't have to use much imagination or make believe. Their surroundings, their experiences, their lives, the neighbors' lives were the book.
So in the process I was introduced to Toni Morrison, Alex Haley, Maya name a few among the greatest!

In my eyes, Dr. Maya Angelou was/is the epitome of a writer. When I started reading her work, my dreams got even bigger. I started thinking maybe I could be a "Maya Angelou" day!!!! Ha!

Fast forward to 07/2004, one of the greatest moment in my life happened. I was a coordinator in Food and Beverages at the Four Seasons Hotel. A morning call came thru and I looked at the call' screen and it read "Dr. Maya Angelou"! I remember my heart skipping a beat. I was so nervous but I also knew as part of my job I couldn't let out or show any excitement. I picked up the call, inquired of her needs in the most professional manner and to my surprise (or not really as I could only imagine her as a gracious, courteous and caring person) she started to ask me questions about little ol' me, where I was from, my life... In the 5 minute conversation we had, I managed to let her know how much I loved her books and she thanked me!!!! I mean I'm the one who needed to thank her!
In any case, later on that day, she had this signed copy of the well know "Still I Rise" poem delivered to me.
It is one of my dearest possession and one of my biggest motivation.

They say " don't reveal your New Year resolutions until they come true. Well I guess I can share this one.

This past year I have been itching more than ever to write and everyone around me been pushing me to do so. I would give it a good try, especially when something "important" will occur and shake up my life but quickly I would give up. My excuse has always been " I'm typing to slow", "my thoughts are coming to me faster than I can process and type them", and the latest "I need the Nuance Voice Recognition Software so I can just dictate my thoughts" ....Seriously.....
Black Friday 2011, Nuance ran an online promotion; 1 day only you could get the software which usually cost $200 for $49.99! I was soooo excited, this was the sign I was waiting for! Hubby came home that night I was beside myself and with only 2 hours left on the clock before the deal was over, I told him about the "splurge" I was about to make. He handed me his phone which had an email highlighted and told me to read it. The email was a receipt confirmation of the Nuance Software purchase he had made earlier that day when he found out about the promotion....
No one and I mean NO ONE could tell me that this wasn't a sign!
I waited impatiently for a week, everyday looking at my signed copy of Maya Angelou "Still I Rise" poem,  thinking if I could only have an ounce of her talent, soon my dream will rise high enough so one day a signed copy of my work will be framed next to hers.

And here comes the let down....

I received the software and spend 5 nights trying to get the darn thing to understand me and my accent, I fought the good fight but my inability to pronounce "H", my rolling the "R" or maybe just because the software is prejudicial to french natives (who knows at this point), got the best of me and again I gave up...
A month later, December 27th 2011, my friend Veronica Ronnie Marshall got her 1st book published and if this wasn't for me a testament that with commitment, hard work and faith, all is possible than I'm truly not destined to achieve my all and true potential. Her story, the legacy she wants to leave her children were part of her driving force and motivation. She was the additional sign I needed as she is the only person I know whom as achieved what I so far only dreamed of doing.

I'm going to close the circle by saying, look around you when remembering an old goal or ambition, don't label it as a dream because it is the universe way of reminding you of what you've forgotten.  Aspirations that have not come to, are a constant fire in the back of your mind, they wont disappear unless addressed.  Be in tune with yourself and you'll see the signs that will help you create the you you were meant to be.
Thank you to Maya Angelou for writing about rising yourself up regardless of any obstacles/hurdles along your way.
Thank you to my family and friends who take time to read me and push me to do better.
Thank you Ronnie (because now you know) you were a BIG motivation into the creation of this blog (baby steps towards bigger things)
So yes I can reveal that focusing on writing was one of my many resolution...

As always, remember to love and express yourself  anytime you have the chance....


  1. Rosie, you are inspiration enough but this just floors me. This blog is the reason I will strive to be a better person each day, month and year. Your words are flawless, your ideas sparkle and I cannot wait to buy my first RosieSanz book. Congratulations!

  2. Wow... it's amazing all the dreams,goals,resolutions we all have/had yet rarely achieve what we set ourselves to do b/c of different reasons, circumstances, excuses or maybe a combination of all 3 ( speaking for myself) then times go by and before you know it, 5,10...20 years went by and you wonder what happened. As I ponder over your blogs and it's content, I ask myself what different approach I'll take this year to at least attempt to achieve some of my goals, dreams, resolutions I set for myself many years ago, I have yet to come up with '' THE'' answer and I can't help but feel saddened by the years wasted doing less than what I should have done. It's amazing how for many years all I wanted was to be accomplished as a mother & I feel I have done just that while others strived in their professional lives. As long as my children were taken care of & were happy then that's all that mattered, putting my goals on the back burner, then one day, my oldest graduated HS and left the nest, followed by her brother, oh well I still had 3 left home to keep me busy as well as a career in the medical field I told myself, it really didn't hit me until my 3rd child turned 18 and starting filling out college applications. Now you have to understand, this is the child who went everywhere I went, I called her '' my partner in crime'' she will be graduating this summer and will be on her way to college and that's when I for the very first time experienced '' separation anxiety'' although she is still home, I dread the day she leaves for college. I still have 2 left but they will be with their dad for a year while I relocate an hour away to live with my boyfriend and even though I love him to pieces I still can't help but feel a void. I am moving on to new things, bigger and better things ( really though)???? That means, new place, city, jobs ,people and I must admit to be a little overwhelmed and afraid, almost as if I was starting over again at age 45 !!! I have sat down many times with my head in my hands wondering how am going to approach this new life of mine feeling as if I was thrown in a pool to swim for the very first time without any help....Wow....You really got me thinking hard...Thanks for sharing, it seriously hit home...

  3. Wow...Didn't know what to expect when I started reading this But once I got started I couldn't stop. Keep writing so I could keep reading :-)


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