With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I’m reminded about the
meaning of love and relationships.
I’ve learned that a relationship is a partnership that’s created,
and is meant to be in a developmental stage every single day of its existence.
There are ground rules established by common sense when entering the
relationship. Some of which are respect, kindness, desire for your partner and
exclusivity, which are all expected but can’t be taken for granted. And that is
why beside every woman, there is a man she created…
I truly believe that no love affair is perfect; however, all can
be happy ones! Being in the pursuit of perfection will set you up for failure,
as perfection is usually characterized by others’ standards. On the other hand,
being in pursuit of your own happiness can lead you towards success in your
life and any relationship.
21 years ago, I meet the man who today is my husband. The way we
love each other and show our care for each other now, is so different than when
we first meet. While the intensity is not what it used to be, the depth of it
is irreplaceable…
While within the years we knew that we always wanted to be
together, damaging actions have been made, and hurtful words have been said, offsetting
what we thought was the perfect relationship. I decided to erase from my
vocabulary the word “perfect” when it comes to my expectations, because while
my focus was to have the perfect marriage, the perfect husband and be the
perfect wife, reality slapped me dead in the face. I had to learn to say “I’m
sorry”, “forgive me” and show “empathy” and “forgiveness”.
I focused on learning my true needs, so I could voice them
clearly, with no shame and the need to settle. I needed to be specific in what
I deserved so that I couldn’t blame anyone else if they were any shortcomings.
Here are the requirements of my happiness (the things I expected from him so he
could be the man I need him to be):
• Love me (even when I’m not lovable), be affectionate
• Respect my feelings, opinions and choices
• Trust, show support, be my economic partner, be accountable
• Be loyal, honest, have healthy communication
• Care for me and protect me
• Forsake all others, show fidelity
And in turn, I would do and be the same for him.
Create the partner you would like to see in your life. Only then
will you will see, standing NEXT to a good woman or a good man, a supportive,
caring, loving, successful, wonderful partner that will be the driving force in
your life!
Love always…
