Pages

Follow by Email /*<![CDATA[*/ .FollowByEmail {background-color: #464646

Tynt

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Avoiding The Guilt...


When the “too late” happens “too soon”…                     

Yesterday, I visited one of my favourite blogger’s page and read this piece she wrote about “Grace in the marriage”. The message was very nice and made me think of how amazing we, mere people, really are. We can be in separate parts of the world, living different lives and dealing with different cards handed to us BUT the challenges we face are basically the same. It’s quite intriguing how easily you can find solace, comfort and answers in a stranger’s story.

I was just about ready to write my comment, when I started reading the ones already left by other readers. Reading one comment in particular, I had an “AHA” moment…

The blog reminded this reader about a story she heard a long time ago. Her recollection of it may have been slightly distorted, so bare with me as I pass it on to you guys....

“There was this woman who nagged her husband for years about the tooth paste splatters on the mirror.  She would vocally scold him.  She loved him, but knew if he could just fix that, he would be perfect.  Years later he passed away.  After cleaning her bathroom, she began to notice the toothpaste splatters on the mirror again.  At that moment she realized it had never been him, but her, and it was too late at that point to say sorry.”

How easily do we choose to forget the lessons life has taught and is teaching us?
I say, pick your battles wisely, yet still I linger on the unimportant…
I say, always being right is not the “end-all and be-all”, but I still want to prove my point…
I say, be his number one cheerleader, but I lay complacent knowing he is all mine…
I say, love him and accept him for who he is, yet I still try to “change” him…

Unlike this woman in the story, I was given a do-over before it was too late; http://rosiesandz.blogspot.com/2012/01/day-i-knew-it-was-okay-to-let-go.html. Although things were put in perspective (in more ways than I can comprehend), at times I find myself forgetting the importance of letting go (of the insignificant) and just simply saying “thank you”.

Every day I nag about something, actually, about a lot of things (deep sigh… these are just behaviours that come with the territory). Every day, instead of learning to master my own schedule, I want to make sure his is optimized to fit what I feel is important. And while I don’t really see anything wrong with that, I need to make sure I say THANK YOU for his every day TOLERANCE and have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE for the simple and necessary things he brings to my life, while dealing with my expectations and entitleness.  


The great thing about coming into this truth and realization is, it’s not just relevant the marriage dynamic. This truth stands for any and everyone. I’m sure many of you can attest to the fact that there’s someone you need to appreciate more, show that you appreciate more. There’s someone out there, that you probably haven’t spoken to in a while, that you’ve been thinking about calling/texting/facebooking. Instead of making excuses, get on your phone and make it happen. You never know when their last day will be; when your last day will be. Tomorrow is not a given. Don’t wake up one day and realize that their “toothpaste splatter on the mirror” was really yours, and all you needed to do was examine yourself first, instead of examining the faults in others.

For me, being able to write these blogs and share my opinions about everyday life events with complete strangers, is significant. You can only imagine that I make no qualms about letting the ones close to me know how I feel and what I want, but again, it’s finding the right balance in communication that will bring you success…

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
~Tony Robbins

We certainly don’t always get the change of a do-over, but when the opportunity presents itself, don’t waste it all away. Do well by it.

Whichever way our story ends, (if I’m the one left behind) I don’t want it to finish like the woman in the story; with me realizing all the mistakes I’ve made, and never having tried to make amends, apologize or even acknowledge that I was in the wrong. And if I’m the one to leave, I want him to remember the LOVE in the nagging, the GRATEFULLNESS in the complaints and that the longing for a BETTER us was my ultimate motivation.

    Be Thankful and voice it! 
RosieSandz

Blogger Widgets