If only I could turn back the hands of
time… would it make a difference?
Looking around me, I see many familiar
faces (families, friends and acquaintances) but I also see many that are fading
away. I see faces that I extend my arms to but can’t reach, smiles and laughter
that use to be genuine and heartfelt, but are now forceful and disingenuous. I
remember situations; conversations I use to share with particular people
because I knew they would bring me the comfort I needed. But now, the desire to
seek for them, their time and their advice, is no longer as the link has
changed. The memories and the love are still there but the connection is gone;
leaving me, at first, clueless as to why…
Always remember that differences/changes
created in any relationship can be caused by the natural, organic course of
life, in which we will see people change (and life change), but it can also be
caused by our own unintentional (or at times, intentional) careless and selfish
behaviour. It can happen in that one moment when we just forget to stop and
think about the consequences of our actions unto others, and in that one moment
we can change the entire course of the relationship.
After thinking of relationships and
situations in my life that, little by little, took different turns (all the
while, totally oblivious of the gap that was being created), I now clearly see
the changes and the losses and why we are where we are.
In life there are actions, and also
outspoken or implicit words that you can't go back on. You can’t take them
back, and all you’re left with is the option to just move on and hope for the
best. Surfing through the web, I saw this posting listing all the things you
can’t recover from. And while I read all of them, to me (and the majority of
people reading) only 5 stood out in my life and here is why:
Here is my list of the 5 things you CANNOT
recover from
The stone…….after the throw
Why do we think that we are perfect when we
can’t even define and live up to the word ourselves? Thousands, thousands and
thousands of years ago we were told “Let he who is without sin cast the first
stone…” which basically meant to judge only if your own backyard is clean and
if you are without sin. It has become so easy for people to judge, label,
criticize and condemn without taking a deep and long look into the mirror.
Prepare to be judged if you judge others!
Remember, thinking your house is in order is YOUR perception!
In today’s society, the phrase “cast in
stone” means that “it is fixed, and it can’t be altered”. So right before you
throw that stone, take time and think of the irreversible act you are about to
commit and as hasty as you are to throw, it may just come back at you stronger
and faster!
The word............after it's said.
Words once spoken cannot be unspoken or
erased; they can never be taken back. One may attempt to take them back but the
damage is already done. Hurtful words not only sting deep, but also leave
lasting scars, so make sure you own everything that comes out of your mouth.
After all is said and done, there’s really no recovering from it! In my previous post I
wrote “ I've always disciplined myself and would advise
others to not respond, comment or acknowledge (openly) a situation when your
personal feelings are in turmoil. If my thoughts and emotions aren't levelled,
I’d be putting myself on the defensive which could ultimately result in me
saying or acting in a way that I might…just might, regret” At times, we forget
the weight that words carry and how irreversible (good or bad) and lasting the
aftermath can be. You can always sincerely seek forgiveness and forgiveness may
be granted but remember that forgetting is a totally different beast to tame.
The opportunity.........after it's missed and passed.
Those chances, and those blessings that we
inadvertently let slip through our fingers…Nothing happens by chance; opportunities are blessings in disguise.
Don't let them pass you by not understanding the “breaks” you are being handed.
Don’t let them be in vain by taking them for granted, and don’t waste them away
thinking that they will come back and knock on your door again.
We get side tracked by the irrelevant, the
unimportant, the trivial and the petty things, and let the life changing
openings/events and breaks pass us by. I sometimes sit and pray that I could
change all the “should’ve, would’ve and could’ve” moments to “I have tried it,
done it and mastered it”. But alas, I missed out on those opportunities, so all
I can do is be sorry.
The love.... after it's gone.
I tried to
remember the last time I had a broken heart. Even though I need to go very,
very far back into my past, I still remember the pain of feeling hopeless,
useless and not good enough. Every relationship you exit, leaves an invisible
scar that you can’t recover from, however it shapes you for your next one so
that you can make better choices for yourself.
Stepping forward without looking back,
might just be the most difficult thing to do. The thing you should realize is,
in the end (if it is for your own happiness) then trust me, you are a
winner.
Love Liberates
"I am grateful to have been
loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love
liberates. It doesn't just hold—that's ego. Love liberates. It doesn't bind.
Love says, 'I love you. I love you if you're in China. I love you if you're
across town. I love you if you're in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be
near you. I'd like to have your arms around me. I'd like to hear your voice in
my ear. But that's not possible now, so I love you. Go.'" — Dr.
Maya Angelou
The Time.... after it's gone.
I (very often)
catch myself being amazed at how fast the day has passed, and how little time I
have to accomplish all that I’ve planned. My days seem to run shorter,
meanwhile my obligations seem to require an additional 5 more hours than the 24
alloted. Time is quite often running ahead of me and I’m struggling to keep up.
This, to me, might
just be the number one unrecoverable loss. While you can try to make up and
attenuate the consequences/aftermath of hurtful words (and judging someone) by
apologizing, and recreate opportunities to cover your losses and move on to new
love, you can’t turn back the hands of time, nor can you replace it.
Time
wasted … While you can try to reach back for your youth, you can’t reach back
for your innocence, nor can you reach back for the baby years of your children,
you just can’t… Life will keep on pushing forward, whether you’re ready or not.
Live your life, appreciating every second that you are given. Own up to your
good and bad, chalk them up as instructions on how to do better. Be better and
seek the best. When the hourglass of life drops those last particles of sand,
you want to be able to feel like you have lived to your fullest and have made
full use of your time.
Life isn't all made up of huge cataclysmic
moments. We have to learn to appreciate and learn from EVERY day, EVERY moment,
EVERY being in our path, and EVERY experience ... even if it seems ordinary.
Let’s remember to take time to appreciate life, the people whom surround you
and the little precious moments which are far, few and in between, in our busy
schedules. Life will throw at you unexpected curve balls. You will need to
learn how to dodge and handle them, however, don’t let time, life,
circumstances and stress overwhelm you to the point where you no longer take
the time to pause and think things through before speaking out, or making
decisions… Learn to manage all the controllable situations in your life and to
let go of the uncontrollable.
What about you? What are the things you can’t forgive
or forget? What are the steps you take in life to avoid having regrets generated
by unrecoverable actions?
To avoiding regrets, Love always...
RosieSandz
RosieSandz
