Saturday, June 2, 2012

What To Do, When You Don't Know What To Do...

“Doubt is the vestibule which all must pass before they can enter the temple of wisdom. When we are in doubt and puzzle out the truth by our own exertions, we have gained something that will stay by us and will serve us again. But if to avoid the trouble of the search we avail ourselves of the superior information of a friend, such knowledge will not remain with us; we have not bought, but borrowed it.”
— Charles Caleb Colton, author

What do you do with the feeling of loss, or of being in an impasse? What do you do with the feeling of not knowing what to do; what to choose or decide, not knowing which decision is the right one, feeling torn…  not due to having too many options, but because you can no longer discern a prospect worth contemplating or worth consideration …you just don’t know.
I often get myself into these situations, those predicaments where I am "trying” too hard to achieve "results" too fast. Situations where I’m not giving myself time to process, think, or weigh decisions, thus starting to feel inept…

What to do when you don’t know what to do…

We all have an internal compass (inner voice) that guides us in our decision making process. In any given situation, it tells us to follow our heart, our gut, our emotions, to be impulsive or it tells us to be sensible, to be practical, listen to common sense and be level headed… always helping you find answers in what you should do versus what you shouldn’t do. But what happens when your compass is broken and has let you down?
Where do you go? What do you do? Where do you dig to find the answers?
How do you get out of an impasse: a jam of not being able to make a decision because you question yourself, you don’t trust yourself, or you don’t know what to do… What seems like a good decision at the time does not provide you with solace and peace of mind, leaving you to still wonder…what do I do?

Is the solution picking the lesser of 2 evils (and still feeling doubtful) or tossing a coin and whatever happens, happens…
Or you could retain fear and pride, take a stand, or accept faith and humility, which is acknowledging that you are weak and with doubts and will keep walking into uncertainty without making a decision...

I would say, even if you are son of God and live within his grace, don’t leave it all to faith. Be a participant, at all times of your life; participate in the direction of it and the outcome of it. Always take responsibility for your outcome. Although your faith will walk you through any decision you make, you will be the one shaping your outcome through good or bad situations, positive or negative results.
You have to realize that at times the path you have to take is not going to be an easy one; it’s not one that will make you feel good… sometimes the right decision will make you upset and you’ll have you cry. Sometimes it will turn your world upside down.
Don’t always strive for the easy; you might have to build your own bridges to overcome hurdles and get to “the answer”. You might have to move mountains instead of just climbing them… but coming to (it) and through (it) scathed or unscathed is worth the journey. Don’t be encumbered by doubts and worries that leave you uncertain, because you HAVE to keep keeping on…

Keep it simple for yourself… sit still…listen to your inner voice, listen to that “inside” whisper to your soul and your core…
I feel terribly helpless sometimes but even with the limited spiritual awareness that I have, I am able to find the answers, as I know the end is not the outcome of my decision; I’ll be able to move on, readjust, pick up the pieces, re-centre myself or enjoy my decision. As I will grow spiritually more and more, I know that these impasses, these doubts, that feeling of doubt and not knowing what your next step should be will be easier to handle because the fear of judgment will be a non-issue.
So I sit, clear my mind and think, at times I have conversation with friends (and strangers), but mostly I am patient with myself. I pay attention to me because the answers are all around me; around us. While it is okay to take a step back, don’t let the moment, don’t let the answers pass you by because of fear. Take a step back, learn the situation, know the situation or then move forward and see what cracks. Any doubts and uncertainties which present themselves have been caused by me, to a greater or lesser degree, which means I can also work through them.

Assuming a negative outcome will hold me in doubts and in an impasse, being willing to deal with wherever side the ball drops will have me moving forward.
There is no gratification in achieving when you already know the results…

I’ve come to realize that our experiences are determined by our decision making process and our path are determined by the experiences we choose to go through. There is always an answer; there is always a step to come in front of the previous one. What to do when you don’t know what to do is keep pushing yourself, keep moving forward and take chances. Jump into your leap of faith and while the choice between following your heart versus listening to your head might at time leave you indifferent, I truly believe your heart will lead you to an answer you can take comfort in…

At the end of the day, leaving questions unanswered and piles full of problems will shorten your life by adding worry. The goal is not to be worry free; the goal is to be able to solve problems when they arise. We all know that in this life we will have circumstances beyond our control, so dig deep inside AND outside to find what you need.

So what do you do, when you don’t know what to do? Do you look within or do you ask others for guidance? How about your moral compass… is your faith leading you, or are you following what you believe to be a higher power? What do you do? Where do you go for answers?   

To loving your answers,


  1. As weird as this may seem, when I don't know what to do, I find that deep down inside, I DO know what to do...

    Yes, I am a woman of faith and my faith leads me. I hear a voice.. no, not the "crazy, voices in my head" type of voice. It's not even an audible voice or an utterance. It resonates within me and gives me guidance and advise on what to do...when I am at my wit's end. Sometimes, I am not necessarily even at my wit's end. But it comes. It comes in my sleep, it comes while I'm working or studying, whether or not I'm thinking about the issue. It always comes, and for that I call myself blessed/lucky/fortunate/daughter-of-awesomeness.

    I ask for advice, sure. I don't know anyone who can honestly say that they do not seek advice somewhere. But, as my very wise boyfriend says, I ask for advice knowing fully well what I intend to do. Sometimes, I seek the advise seeking confirmation on what I inherently know...or think I know. But other times, I ask someone wiser/more knowledgable with the hope and expectation that they will be able to help.

    So... I said all that to say, while searching within and "without", I have found that ultimately, there is a solution to every problem I have faced. And the solution may come from a quiet inaudible "utterance" within me, or it may be a clear cut answer from my faith, or it may come as advice from a friend, sibling, partner, or parent.

    Not to say that they are always easy and you rightly said, situations are hard and worrying/stressing/fretting hardly solves issues. But neither does ignoring them and waiting for them to go away.

  2. These situations fortunately and unfortunately are called "life, and living life"...these are the stresses, moments and thoughts that remind us how in an instant things can change for the best or the humble opinion dear is that we should care more about living between these hard moments and tough choices, we should enjoy the "stress free moments" rather than always being pre-occupied with small issues but as humans we usually wait for moments like these to remind us how good and easy life was before we face them. Carpe Diem always and you will be able to relate more calmly and composed when faced with difficulties :)

    All the best! and yes we read you all the way in Dubai :)


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