Monday, July 9, 2012

It Comes with The Territory...

“What comes first, the compass or the clock? Before one can truly manage time (the clock), it is important to know where you are going, what your priorities and goals are, in which direction you are headed (the compass). Where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going. Rather than always focusing on what’s urgent, learn to focus on what is really important.”
– Unknown


Its 1:00am and 90 degrees outside. This is the second consecutive day of this heat wave; I finally put my head down on my 2 pillows, stack up another 4 pillows under my feet to keep them elevated and close my eyes…
I hear, “Hey, you are taking all the pillows!” …coming from the other side of the bed.
“I’m sorry baby, my feet are swollen. I dropped an extremely heavy mannequin base on my feet, I’ve been up all day on them and my circulation is very bad. Go ahead and take one from underneath my head if you want,” I reply.
“No its okay…don’t worry,” says the hubby (always so considerate  L J)
He opened the door to a very late night conversation…
“I’m exhausted… There is not enough time in the day… I just can’t breathe… I have not touched my “book” in over a month,” I said.
He then says, “Rose, what do you expect? You wake up at 5am to exercise, and then get the kids ready for their day. You go to work, and get back home whenever you get back. If you’re lucky, they’ve already had dinner at your brother’s (house) and if not, you have to figure that out. You proceed to get them ready to turn in for the night, and then you have the nerve to want to keep yourself on a tight schedule for your blog…and book… When do you think you would have time to do anything?”

And that’s when and where everything goes wrong. When you wish you had just kept your mouth shut… I mean, I know my schedule… I know I over extend myself and this is certainly not what I wanted to hear. Heck, I don’t know what I wanted to hear, but it sure wasn’t “the hubby in a matter-of-fact tone, breakdown the obvious and be right about my unrealistic superwoman syndrome”… Maybe I wanted him to say, “Its okay babe, how many hours do you want me to add to your day to make things better and more manageable for you?”
Well, right about this time its 1:30am and if I want to be productive in my morning exercise routine, I better shut the door on this “extremely failed attempt at venting” and go to sleep…

Why can’t I attempt to tackle and manage all I things I can and should accomplish in a day, week, month? Isn’t that what we do? Isn’t it what we (as women) have done for the past…..hundreds years?
Well, that is what I do!
Granted, I’m obviously not quite successful at it (but sometimes yes - to my detriment most of the time) but that’s what makes me “me.” The challenges, the goals, the satisfaction of a job well done or for giving it a fighting chance, the purpose in every moment, and the everyday drive… All leading to accomplishments or to failures but leading to something…
In my world 24 hours will never be enough to meet my own requirements and expectations, in addition of those imposed by society. While I would love the dream of a few more hours added to my days to be reality, I really don’t believe that would be the solution to my problems. Actually, it would probably accentuate my problem by giving me the opportunity to add more to my workload that I already have a hard time managing! If I want to be honest with myself, I need to admit that my issue is not the amount of projects I take upon. I need to manage myself, and my time better… I’m totally out of sync, out of balance. I need to juggle my lifestyle, my commitments and society’s necessities or change them!

I am a wife
I am a mother
I am a daughter
I am a sister
I am a part of the workforce
And more often than needed, I suffer from the “Superwoman Syndrome”

That’s when I start to lose balance. I need to realize that I don’t have the time to be overzealous. I need to realize that it is costing me time and my health. The stress level is affecting my personal and financial welfare. I’m letting go of perfection. I’m learning to comprise with others but mostly with myself. I’m using my family and co-workers as teammates and learning to be more comfortable delegating…
While I don’t function to be the “supergirl”, or the “goodgirl”, I don’t know how to not be with a plate full. My full potential is out there and how will I achieve it if I don’t try to achieve all? Again, finding the right balance is my solution, staying off of the never ending treadmill called society’s expectations and keeping life simple will be my salvation!

What about you? Do you feel the need to do it all? Do you let yourself get overwhelmed by responsibilities? Do you feel the need to do everything for everyone? What overwhelms you?

To keeping life at a full minimum, as time is all you have… Master your time and you will master your life.



  1. I think it is a double edged sword. The better you manage you time, the more time you have available to do more things (or have others give you more things to do). Question. Do you feel that you will let others down by NOT saying "Sure, I got that for you" Or is it a matter of always trying to always do for those who always do for you and keeping things "equal"?(Just curious). Me personally, I am a bad manager of time. I have improved greatly over the past year or so. Sometimes when I am "caught up" I feel guilty if I relax and I say to myself; "This is why you won't succeed like the others that you know and look up to" Conrad

  2. Hi Conrad, thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
    I don't believe in "the doing to be even" thing... Either you do because you genuinely want to help and assist (without any expectations or keeping a tab on who did what for who) or you just don't do it! So to answer your question,I don't like the feeling of "letting someone down"...


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