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Monday, July 2, 2012

The Plague of The Caring Leader...

When the only cure to wiping out the plague of caring is to stop caring, you realize that some diseases are worth dealing with, rather than fighting against ~RS


"It is not the critic who count;: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

"Citizenship in a Republic," speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910 ---------Theodore Roosevelt

To a certain extent, we are all co-dependent on our entourage and the people in it. The idea that someone else needs to be the main source of you feeling as though you matter and are worth something is absurd. Our motivation behind every action should not be to impress or to be praised, but at best, simply (organically) sometimes seeking to be recognized… this is mainly in our professional environments, as it will determine the growth potential within the institution you represent. I believe this is a basic human trait. Nothing we do and work to accomplish is in vain, and although I don’t want to make this a focus as many around me do very well their daily grind, donkeywork without any ballyhoo… I’m also very observant of people’s perception of those who always seek appreciation, as it really translates to a lack of self-awareness and self-worth. I think it is important to understand that in the real world, most times people are NOT going to recognize your work or accomplishment, as it is what’s expected from you. You have to have a strong regard and belief in yourself and your capability to accomplish things, without the praise of others. You also have to ultimately be able to assess when you are challenged and can’t accomplish the task at hand. You shouldn’t need anyone to point it out to you. Inner-personal strength is necessary for our day-to-day functionality.

You have to have inner strength to control emotions; keeping them in check, and keeping your poise. Negativity towards you has to generate strength which will allow you to use the emotions and energy to make yourself tougher, to learn from and conquer. Your soul cannot be shaken and put into doubt. Staying enthusiastic, positive and confident determines (and will define) your character and the type of person you are when faced with adversity…

I’m on my flight back from our annual manager’s meeting, a wonderful experience. It was a great get-together with well experienced professionals, passionate and motivated individuals. For some of us, confidence was shaken as a result of a survey/analysis of our performance as managers, taken by our staff. While it was very insightful and enlightening to see how the people we manage on a daily basis thought about and perceived us, it did prove to be an uncomfortable chair to sit on while on the receiving end (Have we ever stopped to think about how many times we are the one judging and how easy it is to not have to walk in their shoes…).
As I am very well aware of the kind of manager I am, my strengths, my success and my challenges, I do not expect to be applauded on my successful ways from my staff and was definitely caught off guard by how in tune they were with me (and identifying my flaws).
A few of us, although well aware of the image our staff had of us, were taken back from the results…good or bad.
Every day in any job, the idea is to go into it giving it your finest while there. One should care about the responsibility he/she holds no matter the level, but as a manager you should strive to be the best role model… but sometimes, when the perception of others takes on a bigger role than face value, or when your best is not (for others) good enough in its totality, for you it should be enough in itself as that’s all you can give.
Ultimately, only you can say whether or not your best was good enough…

Sometimes criticism is constructive and sometimes it is spiteful; either way, it should never sway the core and the authenticity of who you are… negative or positive, it should enhance the person you are…and ultimately that is your choice. Setting ourselves in a position of influence on others exposes us to the opinion and judgment from others, as everything we do (generally or at one specific moment, even if not obvious) will affect someone else or several people in different ways.

Often we don’t dare to be ourselves and behave in what we believe is “best” because we are trying to meet other people’s expectations. We often worry more about what other people say than about what matters to us. Listen and learn from critique, but don’t move too far from who you are. Accepting feedback doesn’t mean compromising who you are; it is showing strengths and the capability of growth and learning. Living someone else’s life is a bad way to live your life. Managing others without setting personal structure, vision, beliefs and a game plan is setting yourself up for failure. Don’t choose to play it safe with the objective of pleasing... And while "learning from others" don't compromise under pressure...

There are three types of people:  Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say, “What happened?” Which one are you? Do you worry more about being loved than being what you love? Do you choose what is right rather than what is safe or the other way around?

To an open mind

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