Friday, July 20, 2012

The Blaming Finger...

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But, it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
- Movie quote: "Rocky Balboa"

One of my favourite things I say to my kids when I refuse one of their requests (which all of a sudden make them feel like they’ve been cheated out of everything) is, “life is not fair…you’ll lose some and will manage to win some…but you’ll learn to deal with it!”
It’s such a cop out statement but one I need when at times, I myself can’t explain or understand the rules of this world; the unfair advantages that some have over others, the uneven inheritance of advantages, the unequal start of life…
Why are some born healthy and some are not? Why are some born attractive and some not? Why do some seem to skip over hurdles with ease, while some are never able to overcome any? Why does the same amount of work and dedication bring success to some but not others? Who is to blame? Whose fault is it that you got the short end of the stick? Who has done that to you?
All wrong questions to ask… all, the wrong focus of your time…

Although when looking outside our spectrum (or our immediate vision) it may seem that it’s greener than where we stand, we have to learn to appreciate what we have and make the best out of it. We have to enjoy each and every minute of what’s given to us and what we manage to achieve. We need to condition ourselves to be content with the lives we were given and have built, while seeking better and more for ourselves. What matters is what you do with your life and not what you are given or think you are owed!

Someone said, “We are 99% responsible for where and what our lives are. Our actions, past and present, determine the journey of our lives.” So we need to be honest with ourselves and ask, “What have I done that has me standing right here, right now, in this predicament…
We are responsible for our own happiness and we can only achieve it by not expecting others to make us happy. Blaming others for our un-happiness or our lack of “anything” is admitting that we are helpless bystanders in our own journey. In doing so, we are letting life overcome us instead of making “the life” we are deserving of.
Take responsibility, control and power over your life so you can shape it the way you picture it to be.

"Yes, there are times when something is legitimately not our fault. Blaming others, however, keeps us in a stuck state and is ultimately rough on our own self-esteem."
Allenbaugh, Eric

Remember; while someone might be prettier, beauty fades away. While the rich are blessed with everything (tangible), money will drain. Most of all, never forget that we made the nasty cake, the cake did not make itself! So use all opportunities that come your way…

Look at your life and the things you wish you could have done differently or change and ask yourself, “Am I holding myself fully responsible? Am I allowing myself room for growth and improvement, or am I choosing to leave that option to those I hold responsible for my failures, hence negating any chance of improvement or seeing new opportunities?”
When all seems to be working against you and you feeling defeated, have another look at the situation in a less self-critical way and find a place to learn, grow and make changes from…

"If you make it a habit not to blame others, you will feel the growth of the ability to love in your soul, and you will see the growth of goodness in your life."
— Leo Tolstoy

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