The "Me" I Allow You To Know...

"The majority of what you think you know about me is nothing more than what I allow you to know about me”

How honest are we really? How authentic do we allow ourselves to be?

A couple weeks ago, I had a day off and spent it at home. I wore my girly boxer shorts, a little tank-top, had my hair looking like a mini bomb had exploded in it, all the while postponing a long overdue shower (oops); a look that only “the hubby”, my kids and a handful of extremely close friends and family are preview to. Dishes overflowed in the sink, and a few dust bunnies were floating freely but I was being proactive writing blogs on my dining table. “The hubby” was in our bedroom on a phone call and my son was in his room… That’s when it happened…..

Looking outside the window, I saw a car attempting to park in my driveway and I immediately went into a panic. I jumped up, ran into my bedroom and asked “the hubby” if he was expecting anyone and very nonchalantly he answered, “Yes, one of my “brothers” was stopping by.”

“Stopping by??? How in the world did you NOT tell me??? Look at me!” I was freaking out, trying to find something to wear, while trying to tame the hair as I knew the door bell was about to chant any second… “The hubby” stood, stared at my frantic self and blurted out “My bad”…and that’s when I seriously contemplated murder!

His “brother” came in and I was all smiles. I greeted him, and although internally I was boiling, externally I had managed to make my appearance up to par… Even though I’ve known his “brother” for over 15 years, and didn’t care one bit to impress him, I still didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of him seeing me as I was, instead of how I wanted him to see me. This was not so much in the name of vanity but more so of my privacy.

We like to say to friends and family members that our door is open to them any time they see fit, with no notice, but do we always mean it? In making that statement or invite, doesn’t it mean that we don’t care what our appearance is at any given time? Are we always ready to grin it and bear it? I don’t think so; while “all that glitters ain’t gold”, all gold is not meant to be flaunted at all time!

When I want to be lazy, look dishevelled, scruffy and uncombed, it doesn’t mean that I’m okay with “you” seeing me like that…

Home is our sanctuary, where we relax into being ourselves, play with our inner child, paint the walls green and pink, dig in the dirt, grow something, love somebody else, love ourselves even more, snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon, hang "go away" on the door whenever we want, clean and tidy often... or never, launch from and return to, are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How authentic are we really on a day to day basis? We like to say “what you see is what you get,” but is that the real truth? All the pictures of me that you see on Facebook, Instagram and all the social media outlets, are carefully selected to depict the best of me; the “me” I want you to see (which is still part of the true “me”… the visual best of me!)

Granted, I like to voice how open I am with my thoughts and opinions, but don’t get me wrong, I’m still a very private person who chooses what she wants to share and display to the world and outside of the comfort of my home. 

                                              

“All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret.”
― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

The “me” you think you know may not be the true “me”; does that mean that I’m lying, concealing or masking the true “me”? No…it simply means that you don’t get the whole me; you need to make sure you look through the appearances without necessarily being able to “see” beyond them.

We all take pride in our appearances and need to remind ourselves at all times that the good-old first impression leaves a lasting impression. However, in many cases this causes the preconceived ideas that people build about us (according to what they see) and their expectations of us as opposed to the substance of the true “me”.

I don’t believe that appearances are deceiving; it is our perception of what we see that is deceiving. Remember the best Sunday outfit doesn’t open the door to heaven, the soul behind the shell will determine your final home.

What do you think? Is semi-disclosure making us dishonest? Is privacy a screen wall to picking and choosing what we want to share and is there anything wrong with that? How raw are we willing to be?

To the glimpse of us...
RosieSandz

Picture: Neal