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Friday, August 31, 2012

Finding The Good in Goodbye...

“Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time
to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work.
A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours
when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine.
No more busy work. No more hiding from success.
Leave time, leave space, to grow.
Now! Not tomorrow!"
- Og Mandino

While our main focus in life is usually to seek happiness (and the things that help bring that feeling to fruition), many times, once we’ve found the way to fulfilling that need, we hang on to the objects that facilitate that happiness as if our life and future depend on it. As a consequence, we tend to rely and base our happy moments on circumstances, objects, and people. Our lives quickly become cluttered by memories and possessions, and although they may be no longer relevant to our lives, we hold on to them only for the sentimental aspect of it.

While hanging on to the memories, familiarities, and objects responsible for the positive feelings, we leave a slim space for new opportunities and new experiences (as we believe we have the recipe for the happiness we need). We give less of a fighting chance to today and tomorrow’s possible joy and gifts. We have to let the trials of novelties have a chance to bring and let happiness in.
I have taken inventory of my life’s belongings (which I have accumulated), feelings (good or bad, that I hold on to), attachments (which I cherish), and experiences (which I swear by). While I realize that, combined, they are the sum of the artist that made the master piece that I am, I also realize that they are preventing me from growth, and new opportunities…

The desire and need to de-clutter my life has been building slowly, making it easier to take on the act itself and clear path…
Overcoming nostalgia (and maybe a small bout of hoarding) is not a simple task, as your body and mind yearn for the past. Sometimes your attachment to the material belongings prevent you from disregarding. Is our self-identity defined by the “stuff” we own and the things we’ve gone through?

Finding “good” in goodbye…

De-clutter the unnecessary belongings to make room for “good” new space…
What happens today; accept it. Deal with it for what it truly is, and open yourself up to experiences, without dragging a chained-ball of past attachment. Today, this moment is your focus! Don’t try to make it what was when challenged; don’t try to control it and salvage it by trying to recreate past success. Fully embrace, appreciate and enjoy today’s experiences and challenges, as they can and will be the new memories you will want to hang on to. Good experiences will never feel long enough, so while quantity will never be reached, focus on the quality of the moment… Replenish your life with newness, while maintaining only your core beliefs.

Make space for new “good” relationships…
Sometimes we hang on to people because of the way they make us feel, and because of the sense of security the give us. This is either because we want to maintain a certain amount of people around us (to feel love and a sense of value) or just to avoid loneliness and facing ourselves. Nothing is guaranteed to last forever. Knowing that, don’t hold on too tight or exclusively, as you would never want to feel lost if they depart from your life. Be open to new and different points of view… don’t limit yourself.

Give up on the redundant; welcome unpredictability for new “good” experiences…
Just because you failed at something in the past, it does not mean that trying again will prove to be disastrous. In the same vein, just because something was once successful, it does not guarantee the same outcome when repeated. Embrace your past, and learn from it but let it go. Don’t fear what’s ahead; run towards it. Open your mind to new situations and welcome the effects that they will have on you today (in moving away from yesterday and changing your tomorrow and the only way of successfully accomplishing that is to welcome the new).

Finding the “good” in goodbye is not always easy, especially when there is no real reason why you should say goodbye to anything or anyone. To belong, we feel the need to attach ourselves to people, ideas, places and duties to maintain those bonds. However, when we understand that we have a choice every night to be thankful of the ending day (closing your daily book for a new sequel to start tomorrow) and every morning to be thankful to be part of the day starting and the new opportunities at our door, the lesson to learn is that we have the ownership of our daily outcome and to be fearless of the HELLO(s) life has to offer.

How about you? Have you ever felt the need of a "spring cleaning" of your life? Make your mind and life clutter free? Make space for new?

To finding the "good" in goodbye...
This article is part of my guest writing project for the website, visit the site for more entries by talented writers.

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