“Actions speak louder than words” is a
popular quote, to which I think we should add the following; “and the
ramifications (of those actions) are life changing!”
We go through life focusing on “I”. It’s
all about what “I” think, what “I” desire, what “I” am preoccupied with and
what “I” deem worthy of our time and attention. We sometimes neglect to give
value to our surroundings and that little lapse in judgment, sometimes unbeknownst
to us (or possibly knowingly), has irreversible consequences.
For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about
how I (sometimes) have been irresponsible, selfish in my past actions, and how
I didn’t really realize or care about the consequences of my deeds unto others until
now. The way I could have or have impacted others’ lives (or my own) slowly
comes in and out of my mind like slides through a projector. I want to share with
you (readers) someone else’s story, which resonated so deeply into my core and
made me look back on my past actions…
I wish I knew whose story it was, but I’m
sure the message coming through is the reason why he shared it to begin with. So
here it goes…
“One day, when I was a freshman in high
school, I saw a kid from my class, walking home from school. His name
was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring
home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a
football game with my friends’ tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my
shoulders, and just went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running
towards him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his
arms, and tripping him so that he landed in the dirt. His glasses
went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He
looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to
him.
So, I jogged over to him, as he crawled around looking
for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I
said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.” He looked at
me and said, “Hey thanks!”
There was a big smile on his face. (It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.) I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
There was a big smile on his face. (It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.) I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before
now. (I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.)
We talked all the way home, and I carried some
of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to
play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all
weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends
thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle, with
the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are
gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books every
day!” He just laughed, and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became
best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle
decided on Georgetown ,
and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends,
and that the miles would never be a problem. He was going
to be a doctor, and I was going for business, on a
football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I
teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for
graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me
having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked
great. He was one of those guys that really found themself during high
school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates
than I had, and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today
was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his
speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the real grateful one) and smiled. ”Thanks”, he said.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the real grateful one) and smiled. ”Thanks”, he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his
throat, and began, “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped
you make it through those tough years. People like your parents,
your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends. I am
here to tell all of you, that being a friend to someone is the best
gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief, as
he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill
himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker,
so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff
home. He looked hard at me, and gave me a little smile. ”Thankfully,
I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable…”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this
handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his
mom and dad looking at me, and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment, did I realize its depth.
Not until that moment, did I realize its depth.
As I paste this story, I read it again for
the 4th time and plunge deeper in thought…
It takes 1 moments, 1 look, 1 gesture, 1
word or a lack of any of the above, to affect someone positively or negatively.
And sometimes, we don’t realize the effects our actions can have. Sometimes, we
are not aware of the influence we have on others, and sometimes we just
underestimate the power of our actions…
I was on the phone with my cousin a few
days ago, trying to narrow down some plans. She reminded me of a past story,
something silly that I had done. She was laughing so hard on the phone talking
about it and the trickle-down nonsense that followed, that she had me joining
in her laugh. I laughed, but the more I was laughing, my heart became heavy;
heavy because at that moment, years later, I finally realise how deeply, how
irreparably I had affected someone else’s life without giving it a second
thought. I thought about how ridiculously I had behaved, and yet put it behind
me because I hadn’t been affected by my own actions.
As a society, we are
subliminally trained to think fast, which translates into making decisions or
acting on something without thinking, and without weighting the pros and cons
of our actions.
“Life is better when you think about how your actions will affect OTHERS
instead of how your actions will affect you”
~Luke Watson
It is to no surprise that my thought-less
actions are flashing before me, as if it’s all I do, while I can’t remember any
of my acts of kindness to make me feel better.
This story makes me realize how important
we all are on this earth. We all have a responsibility to be considerate, be concerned
and simply be aware of our surroundings and the people in it. The impact that
we have or could have on any one we come in contact with will have an
impression on them …and on you.
Be aware of your power; be aware of the
impact of your actions. Let’s identify with this amazing story as we all, at
some point in our lives, help shape (positively or negatively) someone else’s
life. Keeping in mind the power of you, will prevent the “should have”, “would
have”, “could have” and the guilty unsettling feelings in the pit of your
stomach. You won’t leave remembering what you can no longer change but instead
you’ll leave you with a rewarding peace of mind…
My mind is not at peace thinking of my
story, in which the ending is way different than “Kyle’s” (story). However,
going forward I will act consciously on what I have grown to do unconsciously
(be a respectful person that cares about others’ feelings), so down the road I
will never have to be in the position I am now…full of regrets…
“We ourselves
feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be
less because of that missing drop”
~Mother Theresa
~Mother Theresa
To consciously remembering to never
underestimate the power of your actions…
RosieSandz
Great blog post, Rose! I completely agree with what you're saying. Our actions do affect others in ways we can't always know or track. When in comes to your own personal story, think about how it is still unfolding. Try not to be so hard on yourself. The good is trickling through now as you have become more aware of the ways we touch other people's lives, knowingly or unknowingly. And you have shared this knowledge with others.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThank you Denise!
DeleteI do tend to be harder on myself; but you are right, I need to remember that I'm a "work in progress" with many more situations to get into and lessons to uncover...