I have 3 “mantras” that I’m learning to
discipline myself to live by; “I am that I am”, “Carpe Diem” and “Do unto
others”…
My next 3 posts are going to be dedicated
to explaining my reasons for choosing each one of those “mottos”. They all
assist in framing the person I ultimately NEED to be
Part 3
Do
Unto Others
During my second
year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz. I breezed through
the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of
the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was a joke. I
had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before the class
ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our
grade. "Absolutely," the professor said. "In your
careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say
hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.
~Joann C. Jones
Our differences
shouldn’t determine our preferences
and our
behaviour towards each other…
Let’s get one thing straight; I have done
my share of wrongs. There are many times that I’ve disregarded those around me,
not necessarily with negative physical or verbal actions towards them but often
times by simply ignoring them. In ignoring them, I certainly ignored their
feelings. It’s funny how we think that doing something egregious and
life-altering is the only way to permanently impact someone else’s life, but
more than often it’s the little things that can potentially hurt people to the
core. It’s as simple as not knowing the cleaning lady’s name, after seeing her
daily. Because of this, I have learned to rationalize and somewhat accept
anything hurtful that comes my way (of course, to a certain extent). I mean,
how else do you reconcile not having a perfect record (of being good to others)
with problems that occur in our own lives? It only seems fair that I pay some
kind of “price” for the little things I’ve allowed to pile up. With that, I
have also learned that accepting (or taking responsibility for the repercussions
of our behaviour) doesn’t make us the bigger person. It does not make me proud…
It’s actually as if you justify all your (purposefully) wrong-doings because of
your awareness and acceptance, so that somewhere down the line it will come
back to you; so it’s okay! Not so much….
This particular mantra, I hold close to my
heart. I guess not only for the obvious reasons that come to mind but also for
very personal, hurtful reasons that ultimately I had to deal with. These
situations opened my eyes to the unnecessary hurt one can cause by simply
disregarding another person…
You might also think it is because I
strongly believe in Karma, but I’ll clear this up by saying for me Karma is
totally different (but yet again very similar…). With Karma, the overall
philosophy is that whatever you project into the universe will be brought back
to you. Karma means that, "What you sow, that also you shall you
reap" in this and other lifetimes. Karma is the principle of cause and
effect, action and reaction, total cosmic justice and personal responsibility.
So with Karma it is the generalisation that all your actions, emotions,
thoughts and behaviour carry consequences (good or bad). However, with “Do unto
others”, it is your specific behaviour towards another person that will
determine behaviour towards you by others. It’s less of a Universal and cosmic
experience; it’s much more specific.
Man
is selfish before he is selfless.
This is a definite truth. The reason why
many people fail when attempting to commit suicide is because we are wired for
survival. We have an innate proclivity towards looking out for ourselves and
making sure we are “all set.” It’s the philosophy of “looking out for #1.” It’s
so consistent that a person that cares for others more than themselves is
usually celebrated as a “Good Samaritan” or declared a “Saint.” Interesting
isn’t it… Why aren’t we more concerned about how/the way we treat others? Why
is it so fantastic when someone does? Shouldn’t we all? So it’s no wonder that
most don’t even think twice about offending, slandering and hurting other’s;
even in the most subtle ways. This is the reason we need (and I need) mantras
to live by. Where there is no code of ethics, people do whatever is in their
imagination. You can’t even join a company without them telling you how to
treat co-workers, clients and partners. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the
impact we make.
Until you understand the complete consequences
of your actions, you will not understand how they affect others. You’ll never
really understand why you should not do unto others what you don’t want to be
done to you. It is The Golden Rule for a reason. It ultimately encompasses how
people should behave with one another as human beings. It is a great wisdom-key
that all religions of the world mainly teach. It’s a key because it unlocks a
steady stream of positivity right back to you.
I realized that it took quite some time in
life for me to honestly understand and see the “must” in living by that rule. In
my case, I decided to do my darnest to embody the “Rule” which is often
referred to as "The Golden Rule" in Scripture. Jesus taught, in Luke
6:31, "And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them
likewise."
“Never take a
mean advantage of anyone in any transaction,
and never be
hard upon people who are in your power.”
~ Charles Dickens
~ Charles Dickens
And voila!
This is the last post on what frames my
behaviour in life; on my journey towards becoming a better daughter, sister,
wife, friend, boss…toward just being a better me. I don’t think without
guidance and the support of mantras/rules to remind me and focus on, I would be
able to keep myself on track to becoming the kind of person I want to be.
“I am that I am”, “Carpe Diem” and “Do unto
others” combined are the base definition of the core person I want to be.
Someone that is confident and proud of who she is, someone that enjoys the
moment; leaving no space for regret, while making sure her actions today will
only uplift her tomorrows. Finally, someone that knows that the number one spot
is wide enough to share with everybody…
So
what about you? Do you have any mantras, mottos or unwritten rules that you
obey? Do you need guidance in your life?
To making a better me...
RosieSandz
