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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Most Important Relationship…

 “The most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself because no matter what happens, you’ll always be with yourself.”
-Diane von Furstenberg

Birth, life and death are the 3 universal check points for every being on this earth. As humans with tangible feelings, needs, desires and goals, we need to make sure we make ourselves priorities in our own lives. We need to make sure that between each check point, we focus on our happiness before all. To some this may sound like a self-centred attitude but truly think about this; if you don’t love, appreciate and have a high opinion of yourself, wouldn’t it be impossible for you to reciprocate those feelings to others? If your focus is to first please others, instead of making you happy, how will you elevate yourself to your full potential?
One clear, realistic truth is that people will travel through your life. Some will stay longer than others, and then some will leave you (by choice or unexpectedly) but as she (Diane von Furstenberg) said, “You will always be with yourself, not matter what.” Through it all, those check points are yours to experience. I can’t think of a better way to live through them, then happy, fulfilled and surrounded by healthy relationships.

“In order for two halves to be whole, each half must be whole on its own."

While we live in a society where our lives are interlocked in so many aspects, we need to remember that we are unique; there is no replica of you… maybe imitations, but no replica. See that as a fact; see that as reality. Then, you’ll realize that while life is provisional, you need to elevate your value first before being able to offer and add value to others. People around us and in our lives are supposed to enhance our lives and not determine the value or worth of our lives.
Women, especially when we become mothers, seem to think our validation lies in how happy our kids and mates are; we over-stress ourselves, leading self-doubt and in worst-case scenarios, depression.
The concept is just as simple as this; whatever we feel or are going through, we will reflect. We reflect our feelings; we reflect our state of mind. In any relationship (work related, friendships or intimate) before getting involved in them, we need to know who we are and love who we are. If you don’t acknowledge that you are first, and if you don’t take care of yourself first, you run the chance of being dependent of your friends or partner to make your happiness their responsibility, which is a heavy weight to carry for anyone…

I’m so engrained with the desire to have the “perfect, balanced life” that I sometimes forget that the change needs to start with me, instead of focusing on making it better for everyone else around me.
I sometimes forget my dreams; I forget my objective of a stress-free life, full of love by taking on others. I need to remember that any dream, or any objective will always be better achieved and appreciated if they’re self-accomplished, instead of being handed to me. I need to remember that just like tomorrow is not guaranteed, the people in my life are also in it in passing but I will ALWAYS have myself (like it or not)…but life would be better if I liked myself…

The most important relationship you will be involved in is truly the one with yourself on the road of self-discovery…

Ask yourself: What makes you happy, and what do you do to make it happen? And what makes you unhappy, and what do you do to eradicate the unhappiness out of your life?

When you answer all those questions, the results will inevitably trickle down to others….

To loving and enjoying being with yourself...

This article is part of my guest writing project for the website, visit the site for more entries by talented writers.

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