Monday, October 29, 2012

Before I Can Say I Am, I Was...

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.” 

Donald Rumsfeld

The question begs to be asked…. How did I get here? Looking for all the questions to the answer that I Am…. Today I can make a statement about the person I know myself to be but do I fully know why I am (that person) and how I became (that person)?

So many things in life are facts; information that has been passed on to us through books, television programs, elders sharing their knowledge, etc. Along with that, we even have friends/acquaintances more often than ever, telling you “how it is, and what it is.” The problem is, instead of wondering who started these quests for knowledge and where and how the information came to be, most of us sing under the tune of “it is what is.”

I know the facts (answers) about who I am. For example: I’m independent, I’m emotionally strong, I’m loyal - to a fault, I’m introverted - sometimes to an extreme, I need my time alone, I need to recharge, and I don’t need to be in contact at all times. I’m genuine and only want genuine people around me. I don’t get upset quickly but when I do, I can be very intense and not easily forgetful. And, I’m extremely stubborn. I’ll listen but it will take a lot to change my mind. I’m passive aggressive at times…what can I say? I’m life-smart and practical. I’m feminine but can do without the “frills”. I’m a good mommy and will not tolerate disobedience or being defied by my kids. I can’t stand laziness and carelessness makes my blood boil… There are so many more facts about me but why am I all of that? How did I end up this person that I am today?
Do we blindly accept the answers because we are scared to look deep into us? Are we fearful that we might be challenged to reconsider, and consciously evaluate who we are, as maybe what we've accepted to be might not be what we would have wanted to be?
Have you ever been asked why you are the way that you are? Questions like, “why are you so stubborn?”, “why are you always so complacent?”, “why are you so shy?”, and even “why are you so nice?” To these you reply, “I don’t know…always been like that…maybe I got it from my mama or my uncle Bubba!”

Have you ever asked yourself this simple question; “Why am I the way I am?” In several instances, when analyzing a situation that has just occurred, I can (in retrospect) see where I went wrong in my attitude and behavior  What is intriguing is, it’s not a calculated reaction (which would simply mean that it is not a reaction from the genuine me), it is an instinctive, impulsive and a natural reaction that didn't require any deep thoughts - as it felt right - but stepping back, I can tell that it isn't  For that, I wonder Why? I am not debating about my outside appearance (which is a post on its own!) but about my mental state, my perspectives, my opinions, how I see and handle life, how I decide to live life and my general attitude… What makes Rose, what makes me tick, what motivates me… What makes me different in this world, where the obvious is our similarities but our dissimilarities is what we seek to highlight when seeking acknowledgment? While many might find it crazy to want to dig that deep (but while I know that we all are different), I really think that the reasons need to be known for our self awareness. Truly, there’s got be something more to it than the simple genetics and hereditary explanations for the varied behavioral patterns that we display.

I believe self-awareness boosts identity, builds self-esteem and earns you tons of respect. When you know your background, your culture and have set values and can back-up all your answers and decisions, you earn respect. When you dig deeper, self-educate and inform yourself, you leave the ambiguous behind and bring a level of a comfort to yourself and about the person that you are. Knowledge is power, but the greatest power is self-knowledge. If you do not really know much about yourself, how can you appreciate others? Most important, how can they value and appreciate you too?

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power."

I know my characteristics. I know my personality (and the one of those who lives in my head J). I know what I can accept and what I can’t put up with but while I sit, I don’t know the source, the base, the origin, or the reasons why. It is too simple to say, “well, I am just because… take it or leave it.” And this is especially true when what you are sometimes isn't the nicest thing… Knowing to know everything about me is important because Before I can say I am, I was and I need to know who I was that made me who I am
When I understand (not just accept) why I am the way that I am, when I recognize and appreciate the every step on the trail of my journey, then I will know that I have not wasted any of the gifts given to me and that I have attained my full potential…
As a conclusion, knowing ourselves helps us fulfill our life as best as possible.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”
Erma Bombeck

How about you, do you really know who you are and WHY you are the way you are? Are you interested in knowing the roots of your personality, or knowing the source of your instinctive behavior? 

To seeking and understandingof the full you...

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