“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. It comes into us at
midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our
hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”
~John Wayne
It is funny when I look across the spectrum
of people who are evolving and going through life at the same pace as me
(people around the same age, and having about the same amount of responsibility
as me…), the very definition of aging and the way its celebrated is much
different than what it was 5 years ago, 10 years ago…15 years ago J.
I remember in my late teens, looking
forward to the age of 18; it was because I thought I’d officially
become an adult… I remember looking forward to the age of 21 (and all the years
in my twenties) as that was the exact moment when EVERYTHING was supposed to
happen. That was when my very own Pandora’s
box would open itself up and I would be allowed to resolve all the issues
on my own because I was now mature enough and knew it all. During those years,
April 30th was the official party date for me. All I knew was that I
was a year older, so “let’s party it up!”
I wanted all my “friends” and “friends of my friends” around me to help celebrate
another year of freedom… Another year of my independence… That was how I saw my
birthdays. It wasn't a moment to stop and be grateful for the accumulation of
years, it was simply the constant confirmation that I could “do what I wanted
to do when I wanted to do it,” without worrying about anything that I didn't want to worry about…
For my 30th birthday, they held
the 1st celebration/party that was done specifically for me. What I
mean is there were family and very close friends at our place singing to me,
instead of a bunch of us acting foolish at a club. And I think it was also the
last time I felt it was important to celebrate my birthday in the way I had
been doing for the previous 10 years.
Going into my thirties was when I started
to open my eyes to what (and who) was still around me, where I was in life, and
where I was going. At 31, I started trying to hang on to the "carefreeness" but
it no longer felt natural… At 32, the friends list, or entourage, started thinning
down almost naturally… At 33, did I really have the time? Priorities were
becoming more relevant… At 34, I needed more structure, set goals and seek guidance…
At 35, another reminder of all I still needed to build up; and what I had to focus
on that was important…
April 30th became just another
day. Not in a depressing manner, no! I was blessed, I felt blessed… I had a
family. I had a career. I had laid the foundation for a successful me and the
years became my journey to wisdom. They became my ability to accumulate worthy acumen and gave me an opportunity to weed out any fallacies from my life…
2011 was a defining year in my life… There
were “Ahah” moments, life changing
moments, decision-making moments, and awe-inspiring moments… That was the year
when I truly realized who I wanted to be, how I wanted to live my life and understood
what was important in and for my life…
“The most
important things in life aren't things.”
Anthony J. D’Angelo
Anthony J. D’Angelo
This past weekend I went to my bestie’s husband’s
birthday celebration and in attendance only close-knit friends and family
members… It was a very small gathering, just what she wanted, and it was very
well put together. We enjoyed catching up, life conversations, food and drinks.
They are part of a large family on both sides, so it is always a pleasure to
see everyone (from parents to siblings to children). All different generations
getting together and enjoying each other. Then, like at any gathering
celebrating someone, everyone had the opportunity to say something to him. It
got very emotional really quickly, my friend did a beautiful tribute to him and
their relationship followed by beautiful wishes from his parents (even though I didn't understand all the speeches, as the parents did theirs in
Cape-Verdean/Portuguese, it was so easy to sense the sentiments and emotions
behind the tone of their voices). Then the siblings spoke of their love for
their family and brother, and yet again emotions overtook many. The birthday boy then decided to take control and
bring everyone back to the fun celebration he wanted it to be. He thanked
everyone for their presence, for their love, and told us how thankful he was to
have each and every one of us in his life. He ended his thank you speech with, “I am now 43 years old and in this life
there are 2 things I have learned to appreciate, as they are the most important
things in life. One is health and the other one is love/family. Without those 2
things we have nothing…”
And that hit home for me… That summed up
the why we celebrate our birthdays... That’s what brought tears to my eyes…
What
are the most important things in one’s life...?
That’s the most important question you can
ask yourself, as the answer will determine the path your life will take.
Someone could say money, financial success or career attainment are the most
important factors. But what my bestie’s husband said rang true to my ears… health,
love/family are most important but I would add one more…Wisdom. The best definition
of wisdom that I have ever read is, “Wisdom
is needed to achieve the best results in the myriad of decisions”; the best
meaning to achieve the best ending!
Those are the most important things in my
life; good health is a requirement, love and family is of major importance (I
don’t think I could be without it,
without them) but above all, I’ll put wisdom. With it, you will know that you
have EVERYTHING.
“Wisdom
is the principal thing - the most important matter in life. Wisdom is the power
of right judgment - the ability to choose the correct solution for any
situation. It knows how to think, speak, and act to please both God and men. It
is the basis for victorious living. Without wisdom, men make choices that bring
them pain, poverty, trouble, and even death. With it, men make choices that
bring them health, peace, prosperity, and life”
While your priorities
in life start at the lowest, they change with age and it is your ability to
deal with those changes that will determine what’s important for you. When you
pass the stage of caring for the irrelevant (such as materialistic possession,
career goals, your ranking in life), you quickly realize that what matters are
those attainable needs that can’t be seen, measured or touched… they can only be
felt.
It’s funny how now (as a mother) when I
plan birthday celebrations for my children, what’s important to me is making
their celebration small and meaningful with them surrounded by friends I think
will be there for the long run (that’s where my wisdom comes into play) and
family… Soon, they will be old enough and they will want their freedom. They
will want to celebrate their emancipation
from us. They will not necessarily want us in their celebration but at
least I would have planted in them the importance of 2 of the most important
things in life which is health,
Family/Love and I will leave the years to teach them about the third most
important thing…wisdom…
How about you? What are the most important things in your life? What are the non compromising things in your life?
To what matters most...
RosieSandz
So relevant and right on time. As my 35th approaches I have found myself thinking that what I once thought was important is no longer. I've come to the realization that although things could be better I am blessed. With two beautiful and healthy children and the love of my family and friends, I have a strong foundation to have the best life I can possibly have. So I've started to clean house, figuratively and literally. I also realize that it is time to make my happiness a priority. With all that being said I have witness the growth of your personal journey and you have definitely set the example. So to you I wish more health, love, and prosperity in the years to come!
ReplyDeleteAutie Thank you!
DeleteYou hit it Rose with aging and partying with fewer people. I turned 30 and had a party, but for 31 I had a slumber party with a select few. As I age I am constantly redefining what I want and who I allow around me. Its not easy,sometimes I am more obsessed with the memories than actually moving on. -Trudy
ReplyDelete