Friday, December 7, 2012

Pro-Life, Pro-Choice or Both... The Aborted Standpoint!

“Now I may be opposed to abortion for religious reasons, to take one example, but if I seek to pass a law banning the practice, I cannot simply point to the teachings of my church or evoke God's will. I have to explain why abortion violates some principle that is accessible to people of all faiths, including those with no faith at all.”
~Barack Obama

 Abortion and its Ethics, Touchy subject…

When you’re a “blogger” who writes about life experiences, life lessons, and you want to speak your truth, there are a few subjects that are very sensitive. In the name of staying objective, it makes me very hesitant to dabble in them; as my point of view or standpoint on the matter could alter, or even vex my audience’s view of me (or trust in me). I have wanted to write about this controversial subject - and where I stand - and have held off for a very long time. Well… I think it is time for me to share my point of view in a non judgmental way… and hopefully it will be received as such J.

There is no question in my mind that abortion is morally and ethically wrong. However; there is also no question in my mind that it takes more than that statement to solve the controversy of the legality of the abortion issue that has been discussed and argued for years and years. I’m absolutely convinced that it will probably continue far into the foreseen future.

What is abortion?
Merriam-Webster definition:
1: the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus: as
         a : spontaneous expulsion of a human fetus during the first 12 weeks of gestation —   compare miscarriage
         b : induced expulsion of a human fetus

This can be done by almost anyone; from the mother herself, in unsafe back alleys, and in accredited clinics set up for that purpose.   

Now there are really 2 main sides to this topic; you’re generally either “Pro-Life” or “Pro-Choice.” Depending on where you stand, there are different solutions to this issue.
Pro-Lifer: They believe that from its conception the fetus has rights. It definitely has the right to live. Contemplating abortion is intending to commit murder. This group of people is generally against abortion and believes you need to deal with the results of your actions.
Pro-Choicer: A woman has the unconditional right to make any and all decisions in regards to her body. Getting pregnant… aborting the fetus… it is her decision.

But is really that cut and dry?  Is it a matter of black and white, with no gray area? What about the victims of rape or incest, who had no choice in their predicament? How about an unhealthy pregnancy which could be detrimental to the mother, or baby?
And here comes the flood-gate that opens up to disclaimers, exceptions, and all those “only ifs” sentences… And who is to determine the parameters of exceptions?

So let me take you through my imagination…

I close my eyes… I imagine my life in turmoil, I’m overwhelmed, and I’m alone. Can I really give this new life what it deserves? I didn't plan this… Am I ready for the changes this will bring to my life? I’m too young, I’m not mature enough (this from the younger me)… I can’t afford this additional responsibility, my life is already full and complete…CIRCUMSTANCES… I close my eyes again and now I picture my little girl, 10 years old (maybe younger for some or maybe holder for others but still our little girls) pregnant… Maybe I failed her somewhere along the road, maybe a mistake on her part, and maybe abused by someone she trusted… ABUSE… I am PRO-CHOICE

Growing up and coming into the age where I fully understood my body (all it entails), my options, the power I had over my person, and my voice; I believed that women had the right to make their own decisions based upon what they deemed best for themselves. I was Pro-choice with no question. My thought was, “Who am I to judge someone else’s choice? Whether it be that they want to keep (and bring to term) a child (when I thought they were less than capable of taking care of another human being), or if they decided to not carry the pregnancy through? No one should ever make any decisions on what happens to my body or anyone else’s. No one - other than me - (unless I’m physically or mentally impaired) should have any input on what I’m capable of enduring, or not.
There is no special “social class” that is more prone to having abortions than another (you would think it would be the poor, as they would have a hard time giving and providing. But how about the rich, and the high society that don’t want people to find out their under aged children are having sex…). The main (but certainly not the only) cause of unwanted pregnancy and resorting to abortion is contraception failure or lack of education. I whole-heartedly believe that there are no instances of women deliberately getting pregnant so that they can then have an abortion (again we are talking about well-balanced women).
Pro-choice doesn't mean PRO-ABORTION, it simply means having the ability to make your own choices and no one should impede… That was my cut and dry.

I again close my eyes and I imagine myself in the know of a new life growing in me; I’m pregnant. My imagination brings me back to the joy of my previous pregnancy, butterfly feelings in my stomach, holding a new born in my arms; the smells… the bliss they brought into my world and all of a sudden I’m excited… I open my eyes and I know…

Then I had miscarriages… I had my beautiful children and my life changed… my opinion changed… nothing was that cut and dry anymore…
I remember wanting a child so bad that it hurt… I remember when I was going through my 2nd miscarriage, I started having the same symptoms I had with my 1st… I had a very bad breakout all over my face (which usually I don’t), my breasts weren't as sensitive as before and I was having mild and steady cramping. I went to the emergency room and told them about my fear (I already knew…). They confirmed my suspicions and told me matter-of-factly what to expect, and what to do. In the same breath, they handed me a specimen cup, so when the embryo/fetus/baby is “rejected” by my body, I should try to retrieve it and bring it to the hospital so they could try to analyze it, in hopes of figuring out the cause of the miscarriage. I remember staring at the woman doctor and thinking, “Is she serious?” Then she proceeded with, “Truly Rose, this early in the pregnancy it is a sign that something was wrong with the fetus and that’s nature’s way of taking care of things…” “Really?!!!” A few days later, after fighting the inevitable, it happened. I cried my heart and gut out looking at the shell of what was supposed to be my baby - in this clear, sterile cup. I realized that even at 2 months old/conceived; that was a life I just lost.
How can I ever be pro-choice when I know the pain of a loss and the joy of a birth? How could I agree to terminate a life when bringing one to life is a privilege that some don’t and will never have? How can I be selfish?

I close my eyes again… I just find out my fetus has Anencephaly (congenital absence of part or all of the brain). I’m faced with knowing that bringing him to term/to life, is also watching him die a few hours, or days after… While he may not feel his pain, I will be able to imagine and live the suffering he will go through, until starvation takes him away.
I've been raped… an intruder… he killed my family… he killed my soul and I’m left carrying a fetus that EVERY moment of my life since, reminds me of what I've lost and the hatred I carry… I am PRO-LIFE… I am PRO-CHOICE… I am Torn…

I can’t imagine the pain and suffering of a woman who had to carry a child for 9 months, getting attached to her unborn child, feeling him move, allowing him to make the change in her body and in her heart - knowing that he was doomed, and knowing that there will never be a future. I can’t imagine the suffering of a woman raped or even worse, a little girl who we expect to carry the reminder of her nightmare for the 9 longest month of her life, the shame they will have to go through to live up the stares, the remarks… the shame. Do we make an eternal judgement on a life that isn't fulfilled yet, or do we punish the one that can bring it to pass by adding the trauma of childbirth?

So this is my stand…

In my book, there is no way this whole situation can be viewed as black and white.  I am a Pro-Lifer who believes that there are circumstances that grant way to abortion, however; I don’t believe we as a society have the right to set perimeters on what another person has to or is capable of, or should endure. Who am I to tell someone what to do with their own body? I do feel strongly that it is wrong to obligate someone to carry through an unwanted pregnancy, giving birth to a child they don’t want (or can’t take care of) with the solution of giving it up for adoption… Tell me how many children are there in the world right now waiting in an orphanage for “those parents” dying to adopt a child? What is the guarantee of those babies getting into a home where they won’t be abused, molested, starved to death or simply killed? There are so many… many children in this world who are suffering because they weren't wanted and who truly would have been better off not in this world… I read somewhere, “Abortion isn't murdering an unwanted child, it is preventing the birth of an unwanted child”… While I think this is the biggest copout of it all, it does certainly cover for those 5% of women who have been raped and can’t morally carry it through…

Abortions are  facts of life, and they are going to happen! I think we all need to realize it and trust in our women – not the men, as I strongly believe that even though they are part of the procreation, they should not have the last word on what a woman needs to do with her body. Interestingly enough, I read an article that quoted that there were more men pro-choice than women and there is also this wonderful quote that says:  “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be legal, ethical, and federally funded.”  - to best use our values, our ethics and to apply them to best serve our lives and quality of it.
I don’t think it’s a mischievous act, as long as it’s done for the right reasons and not the wrong reasons (i.e. an “easy” method of contraception)
Abortion, I believe, is one of those actions that hopefully you’ll learn from and gain maturity from but it is also one of those actions that can’t ever be reversed or forgotten. You will always wonder “What if,” no matter how good or bad your circumstances were…

Ethics refers to "moral philosophy", or the study of values and the analysis of right and wrong.

What about you? What is your stand? What "Pro-" are you?

To a personal stand that speak loudly about your values, morals... your ethics...


  1. Oh Rose, well I think you view on the issue is one that many women share. Yes its a very touchy subject and one that is very personal. No one situation is the same so a person or people to treat it as if its all the same is undeniably WRONG! I am PRO CHOICE. Not just because I, myself have had an abortion (or more), but because who are you to tell me what can or can not do with my body. Who are you to judge my circumstances?! I'm not saying that the abortions I had were right but they were right for me. I have two beautiful children who I wouldn't trade for the world, and that is enough for me. Being a single mother is not fun but I've accepted that as my role and I do it with pride. I can't imagine myself with more children than I have and their fathers not being involved because the fact of the matters is, I would've been alone. I can say that because of my "choice" I was afforded oppurtunities that I would not have been able to take advantage of if I were a teenage mother. So again I state I did what was best for me and me alone. God is my only judge not any man.

  2. Yes indeed very sensitive subject on which it’s sometimes difficult to speak your own truth. Based on MY own life experiences and MY life lessons, it took me a while to actually put in a few words what are my views on the subject.
    I actually found a quote that summarizes it all for me. “I am pro-choice with limitations, pro-life with exceptions” -John William Warner.

    1. “I am pro-choice with limitations, pro-life with exceptions”
      -John William Warner.

      Best quote ever... Thank you lamuiks!


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