Thursday, January 31, 2013

Money Can’t Buy Happiness… That’s What Poor People Are Told…

Money can or can’t buy happiness?

I think before I answer that question we have to draw the line and point out the obvious differences in the types of happiness available, and that one can attain.
You have that happiness that creeps up on you and fills you in, that organic happiness that you only get when surrounded by true love from loved ones, and happiness that stems from meaningful relationships and generates from simplicity…
And then there is the happiness that can only be achieved by having peace of mind… but how do you get that peace of mind and how important is that peace of mind? That is truly the question…

So my answer is YES! Yes, money plays a very important role in your overall happiness. At least it does in mine! “Money can buy happiness” is a simple maxim that many overlook because they interpret happiness as only a virtue of love and to associate it with any monetary value would be immoral. Remember - happiness is both an attitude about, and a response to incitements, and that stimulus can be either physical (goods) or emotional (feelings). Money brings contentment and well-being. Money is a viable currency for acquiring physical, social comforts. Therefore money does in fact buy happiness. And I understand that society might see this as me being superficial but however we look at it, the things that make us happy have been brought by money…
Don’t tell me that if you had enough money that would allow you to wake up every morning in a beach front property with the sound of waves as background music, panoramic sunrise  you wouldn’t be happy? Maybe the question we should ask ourselves is: All things being equal, would you rather have money or not have money?

Unfortunately, It is impossible to live without money, unless you moved to a faraway land that belonged to nobody, cut down trees to build your own shelter, dug a well for clean water, made your own candles and clothes, grew your own food and either walked everywhere (if there was anywhere to walk to!?) or made a bike, grew your own food or foraged for food, but that doesn't seem like a very attractive proposition does it? In some way, shape or form, we are all slaves to the almighty dollar!

I wrote a piece a little while back, where I told you guys about the “indecent proposals” made by my friend, attempting to get me to name my price. Would I eat a cockroach, eat this or eat that. And the higher the dollar value got, the more willing I was to compromise my set standards. And that’s just the thing. Maybe the question is not really whether or not your life would be better off (or happier) with money. Maybe the real question is whether you’ve realize your price? Let’s talk for a moment about the physical, tangible results of money. I think we can all agree that on the 1st of February, you’d love to write that rent/mortgage check, pay that utility bill, handle the car payment and insurance, knock out your cell phone bill, and not even flinch. But what does it take to do that? It takes money. Let’s not even begin to go into groceries, gas money, activities, clothes, entertainment, and so on… Ladies, saw a beautiful dress you liked at Valentino? Gentlemen, saw that new Zegna suit in the window while you were walking by? Car enthusiasts; saw the ad for the new Mercedes E Class, where they explained how it’s the most advanced technological car in the world. Yup, you guessed it… that’s gonna take money. Obviously, these things don’t make everyone “happy.” I’m moving forward with the assumption that we are all on the same page here. The point I’m trying to get across is that, no matter what your thing is, I’m sure it will take money. And that will - in an indirect way - equal happiness through money.   

“You don’t have to be rich to be happy but you most certainly
need money to stay happy…”

Money is a necessity. Money (of itself) is a standard for the exchange of goods or services. We live in a capitalist society, so most goods and services have a monetary value attached to them. Its importance is truly neither here nor there because of its obvious duty. Ask the homeless people how important money is.... you would receive a valuable education. Or, look into the percentage of divorces that were caused by money issues… a large number right? I hate to admit it but I'd have to say that money is high up there on my importance list of the road to happiness. While it may not necessarily buy love or happiness per say, it definitely can help to maintain it!
Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert writes in his best-selling book ‘Stumbling on Happiness’ that, "Psychologists have spent decades studying the relation between wealth and happiness and they have generally concluded that wealth increases human happiness when it lifts people out of abject poverty and into the middle class but that it does little to increase happiness thereafter."
And to that I say: BE REALISTIC! Yes it does increase it a lot. No, money cannot buy happiness (there is no store that sells an item call “happiness”), but it sure provides for happy times. When you have enough money to pay the rent, the utility bill, buy food and clothing, have enough to go to the doctor when you’re ill - in real world – yes, money has a great deal to do with happiness.

“Learn to be pleased with everything; with wealth, so far as it makes us beneficial to others; with poverty, for not having much to care for, and with obscurity, for being unenvied.”

Money permits us to do and have things that we would normally have to do without. Therefore, we become happy.  But don’t get me wrong, if you are a miserable person then come into money, it will divert you and temporarily switch your focus away from your misery but not necessarily make you happy.
There are things in life that are inevitable. The Sun will rise and set, the days will not stop, the seasons will change, the birds will fly south for the winter and return in the spring, and the caterpillar will transform itself into a beautiful butterfly, and we will fall in and out of love. And for this I’m thankful… For each thing, we are powerless in their occurrence there are the ones that are momentary and only attainable with money.

Money is good. It’s good if you have some but bad if you don’t have any and others do. Money is good but is it the root of all evil? Is wickedness caused by money?

"For the love of money is at the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows."
1 Timothy 6:10

I’m not clueless; I know the problem and misery that money can bring. We’ve all heard the popular saying “Mo’ money mo’ problems,” but I still believe that having money and access to it makes me a happier person. I would rather have the kind of problems a person with expendable resources has instead of the ones a poor person does… hands down!
Money can be considered evil depending of the way it is used. If you strive for money to show that you are better than everyone else or use it to evil ends, then it is evil because you are evil. But, if you go after it for the needs of your family and don't look to show up anyone by buying a better “this or that” than your neighbour, then no harm is done. At the end of the day, money is only evil in the way it is being used. In all actuality, we are the ones to turn evil when we lose control and focus, and the desire for money becomes more important than what it is intended for. Evil requires a will, money obviously can’t …

Again I would be curious to see how many poor people would agree with the quote that “Money can’t buy happiness” and see how many rich people would give up ALL their riches to be poor or lose all their money, and still be happy…
So while we like to think that the Love of money is the only root of all evil… I say in addition to the love of money, the lack of money is a bigger problem.

We strive for better because we want better so how do you get better? Please don’t give me the simplistic answer that is “by being a good person…that’s how you get better”

It is true that money can't buy raw, organic, genuine happiness but IT does sustain it. Money makes it possible for you to enjoy the best the world has to why wouldn't you want lasting happiness? Why wouldn't you want the best?
For me...the lack of money is truly the root of all evil…

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wednesday Guest Post "Relationship between mother and daughter: where to draw the line between friendship, family structure and authority?" by Djino The Real McCoy

I have seen many instances in our permissive and allowing society in which mothers try to be friends with their daughters to gain their trust or acceptance. On the other side, I have also witnessed mothers being very adamant about not crossing that line and staying firm as far as putting forth their authority.

As a man and a father, I do have my opinion on this but the premise of this open discussion is to understand the rationale of either side from the maternal/mother perspective when it comes to this topic. We all have our tenets, principles and belief systems when it comes to parenthood.

Should the family culture prevail over the upbringing of the daughter? Should a mother show authority at all times over gaining acceptance or trust from her daughter? Which factors/rules/values need to be considered over others?        

As a man, I have observed umpteenth times that a relationship between a mother and a daughter is very symbiotic. In a symbiosis, you can have two different “elements” having living arrangements. What I mean by that is that the mother is everything to the daughter and vice versa but that does not prevent them having their own place/role.

From my humble opinion, I do think that a mother has to have a distinct, clear role and function known by her daughter. A mother needs to show that she is not a friend nor a “girlfriend”. There is an old saying that “familiarity breeds contempt” and I do think that our children need to be reminded of that oftentimes especially nowadays more than ever. I am in no way, shape or form attempting to say that a mother is to emotionally or physically distance/detach herself completely for the sake of making sure that there is an understanding of stature/role.

Most of the mothers whom I came across with are quite clear about this: they tell me that the limits are. They state that their daughters are not their confidantes and they still remain children to their eyes. But I beg to differ that the distinction is that clear cut.

Mothers nowadays do want to be able to talk about everything from intimate matters related to their daughter’s sexuality to very “light” subjects of all sorts. They want their daughters to view them as more than the mother figure.

So in a nutshell, should a mother/daughter relationship be based upon mutual respect, friendship and trust for each other or upon a set of solid expectations that each of them has to simply fulfill? Which one is essential for a good relationship/upbringing?

Ladies, what is your take on this?


Djino is a passionate loving young man happily married but who went through some very difficult times. He once did not believe in loving anymore after a terrible separation from a woman whom he believed to be the love of his life. Little did he know that those trials and tribulations would make him a better man and a better husband to his wife...Love was the farthest thing of his mind until he gave it another try...Now he is back at it again with an exponential outpouring of love stemmed from hurt...may sound like an oxymoron but out of hurt sometimes come the best things in life...Now, Djino has found and rediscovered himself...Love is a beautiful thing...

Monday, January 28, 2013

To Spank or Not To Spank? That Is The Question...

My good friend Teddy sent me an article the other day (via Facebook) from entitled,Why Some Black People Ignore the Negative Research on Spanking”  - written by Kristen West Savali. While I thought the subject was very interesting, I felt that she was strongly biased in her opinion against spanking - almost categorizing and generalizing the action as abuse. And while I do believe that the black community in general has a stronger preponderance to administering spankings, it is certainly not an action that is race specific. I absolutely do not believe that you’re more prone to spank your children due to the melanin count in your skin being higher than other races.    
I remember coming home one afternoon, with not a care on my mind. As soon as I stepped through the front door, I was greeted by my mother, who asked me a simple question. While I could tell by the look on her face that I was definitely in trouble, I couldn’t understand why, as the question was very simple. She asked me, “Where are you coming from?” As I said, it felt like a trick question but I answered with a wondering and un-certain tone in my voice. No sooner than the millisecond I finished the last syllable, my whole being was met with repeated strikes from my mom’s open palm. I felt as though I had been ambushed by a military firing squad, and they were intent on using me for target practice. What probably lasted about 30-45 seconds felt like a lifetime. I remember thinking - while she was hitting and screaming at me simultaneously – “What in the world is going on?” My mom has gone absolutely mad… When she was done, she left me in tears on the floor. I was hurt (physically) like I’ve never been hurt before and clueless as to why. My older sister came home a little while later, and upon finding me sobbing, asked, “Rose, what’s wrong!?” All I could do is look at her - still in disbelief and almost wanting to pinch myself, so I could be brought back to reality. I said,  “Mummy hit me!” That sentence (and situation) became a long standing joke between my sisters and I.
I was 16 years old and that was the FIRST and ONLY time I had been spanked/hit in my life (by one of my parents) as part of a disciplinary act…
Did I learn anything from it? No. In the moment or in retrospect, do I feel that I deserved it? No. Did I resent my mother for it? No. I knew she wasn’t hitting me out of anger, with a goal to hurting me …

So… to spank or not to spank? This is such a sensitive subject because depending on what you choose to believe is appropriate (or not), could very easily get you labelled as abusive or too lenient. There are so many studies out there that will provide positive and negative feedback for both sides of the coin. There are solid arguments for both, and if you’re not careful, you’ll be just as confused as you can be, while deciding on what’s best for your children.

Let’s go back about 25 to 30 years, when spanking was an acceptable form of discipline and it wasn't against the law. Everyone did it, until lines were crossed and rules (or etiquette guidelines) were applied to every behaviour, in hopes of us appearing more civilized.
Personally, I chose not to spank because I believe I can get my point across with communication, and where necessary - punishment (taking away privileges…). Spanking, for me, has always been something I’ve tried - and have so far succeeded- to not to resort to, but again, every child responds differently to every form of discipline. What works in my house may not work in every house, and vice- versa. Every parent has a unique situation and child, and must handle correction in a manner that will provide both a learning experience for the child, while also instilling respect for boundaries. But if we’re comparing apples to apples, and there is indeed not much difference - aside from the speed at which they will take you seriously, I would much rather not physically discipline my kids, and defer to other methods available.

Just so that I’m clear, along with my personal preference comes no judgment for parents who choose to spank as a form of discipline. As a matter a fact, my husband is totally pro-spanking. And while my son has not yet fallen prey to the wrath of the open palm to the buttocks, my daughter has, and I can guarantee that she is in no way damaged… she’s actually much more to the opposite.
I think for those casting judgment on pro-spankers, there needs to be a realization that there is a fine line between spanking and abusing. Spanking doesn't have to take on the form of abuse. It is a way to teach certain kids that there are consequences to their actions. I believe in disciplining children but either with communication (verbally) or physically (spanking, swatting …), we have to be careful that we don’t discipline out of anger as it will teach the children to react and behave in the same manner... with anger. I can tell you that there I’ve heard some parents “discipline” their children verbally, and it was worse than any physical spanking I’ve ever seen in my life. Sometimes parents think that by avoiding the belt, hand, or whatever, it gives them carte-blanche to tear down their kids’ self-esteem and pride, leaving them far more scarred than any spanking could ever do.

Children don’t come to us with a “how to” manual; we learn as we go. How to discipline is a decision every parent needs to make, and come to terms with by following your gut instinct… which will never lead you wrong. We make and will make many mistakes in the decisions for and about our kids, which includes how to discipline them. However, when any of your actions are based and stem from the love you have for them and their well-being (raising great members of society, good people, etc…), your children will not resent you.

As I personally don’t believe it is necessary to spank a child, I also realize that my opinion is solely based on my experiences with my own children. And as I mention earlier, my experience is obviously different than my husbands’, who has found it necessary in the past to spank our daughter. Whatever the case, I have no moral qualms, hang-ups or negative judgment towards any parent who feels physical discipline is the only way to go, just as much as I don’t praise and put on a pedestal parents that have sworn to never spank their children… because again, your child is not mine and mine are not yours. What works in your household will not necessary work in mine and just as long it is clear in everyone’s mind that we are talking about discipline and not abuse than more power to all.

“Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too tough with a child. A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself. If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”
~Bette Davis

How about you guys? What is your opinion and perspective on spanking? Do you find it necessary, abusive or just not call for at all?


Sunday, January 27, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

"God's plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day."
~Louie Giglio

Read it again, again and again… Let it simmer and sink in the depth of your soul and when you finally appreciate the complexity, the deepness and the meaning of this sentence, you will also understand that any bad day(s) is only a purposeful setback in what is to be the big picture that is your life.
Know this to be a fact that no matter what, you are going to have challenging days.
Psalm 118:24 says the Lord made today and every day. There is no promise on what kind of days you are about to face, so know you will face, good days, bad days, joyous days, and dreadful ones but rest assure HE made them all…
So knowing there is a purpose for each bad day, doesn’t that make them easier to handle?

If we accept that God has everything planned for us it doesn’t mean we have a preordained future and can’t exercise the gift of free will he gave us.
The late Roman, Christian philosopher Boethius said “We have free will, but God, who sees past, present, and future as one vast simultaneous picture, knows what decisions we'll make, because from his perspective we're already making them”

God simply guides us but he allows us to shape our own destiny. HE can and does sometimes get involved if you are deeply in touch with your circumstances and know to ask for His help and even then we need to understand that HE answers all of our prayers, and sometimes it is just that HIS answer is no…


Friday, January 25, 2013

The day I knew it was okay to let go...

We had just finish celebrating my husband’s birthday, surrounded by family and friends, during one of the warmest Columbus Day weekends in the Northeast. After 3 full days of entertaining, we escorted the last of our visitors to the airport and vowed that this was it! 2012 would be a sabbatical year for us (as far as entertaining). We then sent the kids to bed. It was back to reality for them, with the school year starting again after the long weekend. I joined my husband on the sofa as he watched over and over again in awe, the slideshow I made of his life on our flat screen TV. Exhaustion took over, so I went to lie down in bed and eventually dozed off.

At about 2:10am, I woke up to my chest hurting. I tossed a little and tried to go back to sleep when I heard coughing from the bathroom. Only then did I realize I was alone in bed. I start thinking, while I heard more coughing and the shower running, that my husband was probably having a small bout with asthma but trusted he had it under control. In the 20 years we've been together, I’ve never seen him in distress.
I heard things falling... the water stop... and the coughing was faint but still there. Then I heard him call my name; not loud enough that it would have woken me up, but like a whisper filled with angst, in a tone which made it ear-piercing. What was happening? Was I still dreaming? If this was a nightmare, I needed to be woken up right away. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that lucky…

I immediately jumped out of the bed, ran to the bathroom and pushed the door open. In the next five seconds, I saw one of the most alarming things I had ever seen. My husband was sitting on the toilet, undressed, with both hands clinched; one on the window seal one on the sink. His eyes were blood-shot red and he was fighting... fighting to take a breath. I wasn’t even sure what I was seeing, but I knew I had to respond quickly. Frantically, I ran back to the bedroom. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I was trying to think clearly. I grabbed the house phone and dialed 911. I then grabbed my cell phone and dialed my brother, who is my first emergency contact. Five seconds had passed...
His breathing was shallow, foam was coming off his mouth, his skin color had faded from brown to ashy to blue, and his eyes had an expression that I still can’t describe. The 911 operator (over the speakerphone) was telling me that I had to do CPR, and that I had to lay him on the floor but I couldn't move him. He was clinching so hard and his body was so stiff. I was pulling with all my might, but couldn't move him. I began to feel useless; like I couldn’t do anything to help the one I love the most. All I could do was tell him to “hang in there” and tell him that I loved him, and beg the operator to hurry. A lifetime passed and he stopped breathing. His body let go, and his head and shoulders dropped. I pulled him, laid him on the tiled floor of the bathroom and with the help of the operator, started giving him CPR. They told me not to stop so I wasn’t going to stop, no matter what. Not even if the Earth stopped rotating. Not even if the sky began to fall. In my mind, I was praying that my babies didn't wake up and see us like this, see their father like this... The paramedics finally arrived, after what seemed like a million hours. It took about 25 minutes for all 8 of them to finally get a steady pulse, and partially stabalize him, before rushing him to the hospital.

My sister said "Calm down, all you can do his pray now". The medics said, "Ma’am, you did a great job... probably saved his life. He is in good hands now". All I could think about was how very true it is, that when you’re in need, that’s usually when you remember God. When trouble begins to rise, that's when you remember that you know someone who performs miracles, and you begin to call on to him...
Well, that day was my day. I was sitting in the emergency room with my brother and all I could do was remind God how good of a man my husband was; how he had never done anything wrong, how young he was, how he had 2 beautiful kids who adore him, and what would the kids or I do without him... I wanted to turn back the hands of time. This weekend wasn't supposed to be our goodbye to him; rather, it was a toast to the first 40 years and a send off to the next 40...

That night they put him in a coma induced sleep to help his lungs, and to help his body recoup from the trauma. I sat on the hospital chair next to his bed and stared. I needed to go home and take my babygirl to school, so told the nurse that I'd be right back. I walked in a daze through the parking lot, still not understanding what just happened. I sat in my car and I cried, cried hysterically...

That was my “wake up call”. That was the day I knew it was okay to let go. I realized that I'd always have someone who has my back. I still have fears, because what is granted to me can so easily be taken, but now more than ever, I understand that "when I'm lead to the edge of a cliff, I need to trust God fully and let go. He will either catch me when I fall or he will teach me how to fly".
That day he taught me how to fly...
Our destiny has been set for us. While in your hands you have the ability to make it the best it can be, don't waste any time. Love, celebrate, appreciate and let love.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Redemption… Rehabilitation… Forgiveness… Does everyone deserve it?

       “When rehabilitation works, there is no question that it is the best and most productive use of the correctional system. It stands to reason: if we can take a bad guy and turn him into a good guy and then let him out, then that’s one fewer bad guy to harm us. . . .
Where I do not think there is much hope is when we deal with serial killers and sexual predators, the people I have spent most of my career hunting and studying. These people do what they do because it feels good, because they want to, because it gives them satisfaction. You can certainly make the argument, and I will agree with you, that many of them are compensating for bad jobs, poor self-image, mistreatment by parents, any number of things. But that doesn’t mean we’re going to be able to rehabilitate them.”
 ~John E. Douglas

From the moment I wake up in the morning, until the time I lay myself back in bed, my days are filled. My bedroom has become my sanctuary; the place I breathe and schedule my “me time.” I read, listen to music, cuddle with my kids (yes that is for me J), brainstorm blog subjects, write, and last - but definitely not least - go through my DVR recordings, to catch up on shows I couldn’t see live but thought might be interesting.

A few nights ago I watched an episode of the “Dr. Phil show” that I recorded. This one in particular, was about the Ashley Toye story. This episode made me go through an array of emotions that ranged from disgust, rage, sadness, compassion and bafflement! Here’s my recap of the story in a nutshell… In 2006 two teenage boys, Alexis Sosa and his 14-year-old nephew, Jeffrey Sosa, were beaten and tortured for more than two-and-a-half hours, before being shot to death; their bodies were later set on fire in a burning car. All 10 suspects were teenagers themselves, including then 17-year-old Ashley Toye. At her trial, Ashley decided to not enter a plea deal as she figured she was a minor with no priors and … was pregnant (by the ring leader of their little sick “click”), which she thought would bring her sympathy from jurors. Inevitably, Ashley was later sentenced to life in prison, without the possibility of parole. She got the maximum punishment for her role in the murders, which included carving symbols into the boys’ backs with a knife. Now - six years later - the United States Supreme Court has ruled it unconstitutional to sentence juveniles to life in prison without parole for murder, without a sentencing hearing that takes into consideration their age and development. Ashley and her lawyers are looking at this ruling as a possibility for a review of her sentence and the longshot-hope of having it reduced. In the show, Ashley’s divorced parents and siblings were present, along with The Sosa family (although they took the stage during different segments; never together). Along with that, we had footage of Ashley’s interview (behind bars), recounting the events of that night and how she doesn’t feel she is responsible for their deaths (although she participated in torturing them). She feels as though she shouldn’t be incarcerated for the remainder of her lifetime. She finished her interview by asking forgiveness of the victims’ family, specifically so that she can better cope, and be able to move on… I waited and waited to hear her apologize sincerely to the family, following her request (although the apology should have preceded it) but… nothing… the tears were about her own selfish concerns (her circumstances) and not about the pain she caused others by her actions…
I was simply baffled. My first thought was that her perception (after-the-fact) isn't any better than her forethought. How dare she ask the victim's family for forgiveness so that she can cope better?  She said she is not the 17 year old she was back then. No, she is not. She is a 23 year old girl that still hasn’t learned a thing. She still has her life, unfortunately they don’t… And they don’t because she assisted in their killings, and now they are gone. 

Redemption… Rehabilitation…

Anyone can demand and seek redemption but not everyone will put forth the effort needed or even have the understanding of what it takes to redeem yourself; or to deserve rehabilitation. Prison is just as much about punishment as rehabilitation. But rehabilitation is not possible without following through with your punishment. Even if we know for a fact that certain people, if released today, would never commit another crime, we still have to make sure they are punished – accordingly - and pay the consequences for their actions. If prison was only about rehabilitation, than I believe half of the prison community in the US jails ought to be sent home.

There are different types of crimes that range from petty to significant atrocities. Petty criminals that turn into repeat offenders or violent offenders will seek redemption if they wish, but will definitely need rehabilitation through counseling while serving their time - their punishments. Prisons need to be able to offer reformations and assist (from within) the inmates in preparing, starting and settling back into normal lives once out of the four walls of the jail.
I believe that crimes like those committed in sudden anger and heartbreak…those we like to call crimes of passion; don’t need rehabilitation. Those types of crimes can be perpetrated by people like you and me, who suddenly got pushed over the edge. In that, it didn’t allow time for their “boiling blood” to cool down and they snapped… Certainly, the person who takes a life under extreme emotional distress or extraordinary intoxication can be saved.... Do they need rehabilitation? Again, my answer is no… They may want redemption (if they wish), however; there definitely needs to be consequences to be held accountable for.     
Now for serial killers and related type murderers, (psychopaths, attachment disorders, and cold-blooded killers, etc.) my answer is no, no, no and NO! I do not believe they know what redemption means… and I certainly don’t think they can be rehabilitated. Can they possibly be reprogrammed through the use of medications, brainwashing and/or surgery? Yes, maybe so. But that isn't rehabilitation.   So as I said earlier, prison isn’t just about redemption or rehabilitating criminals, but mostly about making sure they serve the punishment that fits the crime they’ve committed. So for me, the common thread running through all types of criminals is that they all need to pay a certain price. And this last group of criminals I just mentioned - I strongly believe that whatever a jury of their peers or a judge deems appropriate as punishment – they need carry out that punishment (or sentence) to the end of its term…

So to go back to Ashley Toye, is she remorseful? I didn’t sense any of that! Does she deserve a lesser sentence? As far as I am concerned, she may be rehabilitated, but she still deserves punishment for the horrific crimes she assisted in.  Does she deserve a life sentence? After watching her interview with Dr. Phil, more than ever I say YES. The life sentence for her part in the murders of two teenagers seems appropriate. Let me explain… Everywhere in the world, there are good, decent people that turn around and do “bad” things… I also believe in my heart that no one should be dismissed as unredeemable because there’s always going to be someone out there who will see you in a different light. This is usually due to the relationship you once had or now have… so my point is, that when we look at people for who they are and not what they did we will always find some good in them, however; if the individual is not genuinely remorseful, sorry for their actions - but merely sorry they got caught - then no. I think there's no hope for redemption, rehabilitation or leniency! The genuine sociopath, however, is far too lacking in basic empathy for me to believe that they can truly be fixed. Unfortunately, the genuine sociopath is quite able to make all the right noises to persuade others of his remorse and good intent for the future...

Forgiveness… Moving on…

I believe forgiveness is a wonderful act, it has different spectrum as it can range from having to forgive someone for something as trivial as forgetting to return a call and forgetting ones birthday…to having to forgive someone that has left protracted damaging sequels that has left you emotionally handicapped (heartbreaks, betrayals, lies…). And all the way to what I personally consider the ultimate of all forgiveness, which is when you are able to forgive someone for taking love ones away from you in an unnatural, painful, sadistic and brutal way… I often hear about people that are able to forgive and that are even willing to meet and help the perpetrators… and I commend them for that!
Forgiveness means that we do not harbor resentment stemming from actions we did or someone else did. Forgiveness means that we are not dependent upon how someone else chooses to behave to map out our own course in life. Forgiveness also means that while you forgive someone for their trespasses against you, be they great or small, you also remember that you are not obligated to forget. To forgive means that you are no longer troubled by what happened in the past and that you have moved on.

I would like to think that I have evolved enough as a person to embrace forgiveness..... But to be honest, I wouldn't be able to do that in this extreme situation. I, like the family of the 2 slayed Sosa teenagers, would not be able to forgive because there is NO way I could understand and hear out the justifications, and the reasons why… or their motives for killing my child, killing my brother…even if their mind wasn’t 100% right. I don’t even think I would be at odds with my values; I know that in time, my anger would be calmed, my sadness settled, and my desire for retribution would pass. I would also have to leave forgiveness to those who can and trust in their fair decisions but for me a lifetime in jail will never equal the willful murder of someone…

Sometimes accepting an apology is just a pill too hard to swallow. That said, I would be able to move on knowing that they are paying the price for their actions…


Sunday, January 20, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

Are you happy?
Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't remember leaving open.
~Rose Wilder Lane

Every moment of our lives we look for something that we deemed better, that we convinced ourselves we need to be able to reach the level of contentment that will translate to happiness. Unbeknownst to us or knowingly we always strive for something other than what we wished for and achieved yesterday… We want emancipation, we want the perfect relationship, the perfect job, we want to get married, have a baby, and have another one, we want the house with the white picket fence and then… we get upset when we get what we thought was the answer to our happiness and then we realize that with that more is needed to make it all go round. Life is a succession of challenges, experiences, and repeat moments so truly when would be a better time to be happy but right now? When?

Alfred D. Souza said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

Happiness is a journey, not a destination to reach. There are no special steps to achieve happiness because happiness is what surrounds you throughout the process called life. Remember that time waits for no one and you shouldn't wait to recognize happiness until your reach all the plethora of reasons you convinced yourself you needed to complete or experience before being content…being happy. Reasons like going or finishing school, waiting for the perfect season of the year, getting married or divorced, achieving those yearly resolutions, losing weights, buying the perfect house…

Stop waiting to appreciate this moment for another moment, stop expecting for something else (or someone else) to validate your NOW. Stop justifying getting yourself in a wild goose chase after perfection, dreams, thoughts or possibilities not because they are not achievable but because they are NOT the answers to your happiness... YOU ARE the answer.
Stop looking for it and enjoy living your life because happiness comes from within. No one should have the power to control, restrict, dictate or hinder your happiness. It is (needs to be) independent of any outside influence other than yourself…

Happiness is the joy of doing something you love, or spending time with the ones you love. Happiness is to be at peace with where you are and what you have. Happiness is to find the joy in the little things and to let go of negativity.

Open your eyes…happiness always been there for you to enjoy…

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wednesday Guest Post "In What Do You Believe In?" by Elvin Nesbitt

Hi Readers!
My name is Elvin Nesbitt - or as I prefer, Just Elvin. I’m horrible at describing myself, but you’ll learn a good bit about the person I am through reading this blog. I’ve known the lovely woman who hosts this blog for a number of years now, and I consider her to be a big sis. After a little hesitation, I decided to submit a little piece of what’s on my mind, and hopefully someone will find it interesting enough to take a few minutes to read.  I’m a pretty simple guy; I’m early thirties, have a lovely wife and three beautiful little girls who call me “daddy,” and work hard for a living. I’m passionate about achieving my destiny and reaching my full potential in this walk called life, and enjoy aligning myself with people headed in a similar direction. I’m also a musician, and enjoy nothing more than using my talents to uplift and inspire others. I don’t believe in chance, but I think everything happens on purpose. That said, hopefully something that was written in this piece will inspire you… 
In what do you believe?

We all go through moments where we question our faith; when we feel the temptation to wonder, Is God real? 
Like C.S. Lewis once said, “You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”

I’ve been under the impression – for the majority of my adult life – that what we believe in, makes us. It either makes us complete or it makes us search for more. The foundation that we are taught at an early age, and sometimes the things we experience (and are initiated into later) shape and mold who we are. And often times, those things assist us in our journey. Sometimes, those things mean the difference between life and death, health and sickness, and sanity or insanity. Your belief system (or faith system) can usually be summed up by one of three statements; it’s either something you take very seriously and live by, something you believe in but don’t actively practice, or something you could care less about. And for those who put very little to no stock in their belief system, please believe that you are declaring yourself to be in absolute control of your life; not relying on destiny, faith or luck. So let me clarify my position, so that you don’t think I’m referring to a “New Age” thought, or any type of higher-science consciousness. I’m talking specifically about my belief/faith in God. Your belief system may be different than mine, but I can only (obviously) speak from what I know and have experienced. And although I am *by categorization* a Christian, I’m more interested in my relationship with God, than a set of religious practices every weekend in a church.  People often challenge that the values, standards and guidelines outlined in Christianity are antiquated and almost impossible to abide by, but that is a conversation for another day. My belief and faith in God has made the difference in my life, when I needed it the most, and without it I’d be completely lost.

I firmly believe that it is vital for us to make deposits into the next generation; deposits that will stand the test of time, and that will help them overcome challenges greater than what we had to deal with in our day. It doesn’t take a Harvard MBA, or an Oxford Scholar to realize that we have a serious problem in the world today. You can look at the AIDS rate, the child (and adult) abuse rate, the murder rate, the suicide rate, the divorce rate, the abduction rate, the poverty rate, the terrorism rate, and every other rate; and see that the world is in need of help. How much more can we take, or rather – How much more will we allow, before there is a serious awakening? And I think the majority of these issues are tied to what we as people believe. It is closely linked to what we believe at the very core. What do we believe about ourselves? Are we convinced that we are the bad things we were called as a child? Are we destined for failure because our relatives never succeeded? Is sickness inevitable because we were born into a family where diseases abounded? Do we believe what we read or hear on TV? Do we think that these “Reality Shows” and fantasy-based movies can define us as people? Do we think that Oprah, Dr. Phil and every other talk show host can deposit life-affirming balance into us? Or maybe we think that we know it all, and don’t need any help. Maybe we are our own belief system, and in so become our own gods. If so, we are definitely in trouble. I say trouble because look what us being at the helm has produced so far… As for me, I believe in something greater than myself, and therein lies the true power of belief. Try standing in quick sand, and then try to pull yourself out of it. It’s virtually impossible. You need something outside of yourself to step in and help you when you’re drowning/falling/sinking. That is what we need to deposit into our children, and into this generation that we’re in.

My mother made that deposit in me, and I thank God she did. I started at an early age, being in church all the time, every day, every night, and so on. And although I spent so much physical time in that place, the place wasn’t spending time in my heart. So later on, like so many rebellious teens and young adults, I went out trying to find all the things I was “deprived of” in my strict environment. There I was… making a complete mess of my life, and it all seemed fine while in the situations; but isn’t that always the case. Needless to say, it was a mission NOT worth embarking on. I made mistake after mistake, error after error, was broken at the very core, and hurt some along the way in ways I can’t even stand to think about. But right there in middle of my despair and brokenness, I remembered my belief. I remembered who I was and what I was intended to become. I remembered a 2,000 year old story I heard about someone who loved me enough to give up his life, so that I could keep mine. I remembered a story about someone who wanted me to have a happy, abundant life; one where I could focus on the things and people that actually matter. I remembered that there was someone who – no matter how many lies I told, and how many times I had fallen – loved me and was waiting on me to come home. I remembered that I am loved, I am cherished, I am full of purpose, and best of all; I am forgiven. He had paid the price for all of my mistakes, so I could always start over again with a clean slate. I remembered Jesus, the Christ. This gave me the strength I needed to get up from where I was, and become what I am.

In the Bible, there’s a parable about a prodigal son, who wanted to take his inheritance from his father, while the father was still alive. This was obviously problem number one. Anyways, after the father had obliged his young son’s request, he headed straight for the wild life. If it were in 2013, I could imagine him hopping on a plane to Vegas, with a suitcase full of condoms, cocaine and cocktail mix. The son lived as wildly as he could, for as long as he could, until he woke up one day and found himself in a pig pen; contemplating eating the nasty pods that the swine fed on. He then came to himself, and realized that he should go back home. He was content to be just hired help, only so that he could be in a better position than he had allowed himself to fall into. But the end blew me away. When the father saw him coming from afar off, he ran to him, put on the family crest, robe and welcomed him back with open arms.

“God made the world for the delight of human beings-- if we could see His goodness everywhere, His concern for us, and His awareness of our needs: the phone call we've waited for, the ride we are offered, the letter in the mail, just the little things He does for us throughout the day. As we remember and notice His love for us, we just begin to fall in love with Him because He is so busy with us -- you just can't resist Him. I believe there's no such thing as luck in life, it's God's love, it's His.”
― Mother Teresa

The greatest take-away I got from this prodigal son story is:

“No matter where we are and no matter how bad of a condition we are in; as long as we are still alive, there’s hope. As long as we have faith and believe in something bigger than ourselves, there’s always hope. And with that hope - the kind of hope that only God can give - we can be restored, healed and forgiven. And that’s a hope that can change a nation.”

So… In what do you believe?

Picture courtesy of

Monday, January 14, 2013

Gain The Whole World but Lose Your Own Soul... What is Your Price?

“While money can't buy happiness,
it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” 
~Groucho Marx

 Someone said to me, “Rose the integrity you are showing is honourable and your (said) unwavering commitment to your values and what you stand for is commendable. BUT, all that means to me is that you haven’t gotten a good enough offer yet! EVERYONE definitely has their price.”

I couldn’t refute or argue his statement. This had me thinking… and I came to the conclusion that - YES - in most matters of life, we have to make decisions. Sometimes those decisions test us at the very core of who we are, and make us re-evaluate what we stand for. We all indeed have a price that can sway our first instinct, or our first programmed response. More than often, what is offensive (at first) can start to look pretty good with the right incentive. And what is the easiest, biggest and most persuasive incentive in the world: MONEY. The promise of easy cash makes the world turn at a faster pace. He then continues:

“Rose, I’ll give you $2000 cash if you eat a cockroach!” Now, I would definitely try to up the cash pay-out, but for that amount… I’ll cover the roach with hot sauce and take it down with wine (the thought already makes me want to barfL).
“Rose, I’ll give you $10,000 cash if you stand in a closet full of flying moths for 3 minutes!” Understand this; I have a phobia of those creatures BUT I will die (metaphorically) trying to earn that money (I’ll pray that I faint after 2 seconds).
“Rose, I’ll give you $300,000 cash if you go and live in an underground fallout shelter for 6 months, eating nothing but survival rations with no TV/internet/radio!” (at this point, we are starting to play with my emotions…)
“Rose, I’ll give you $1,000,000 cash if you give up a kidney” Do I really need both kidneys???

And who has forgotten the movie “Indecent Proposal,” where Demi Moore got offered $1,000,000 for a night of romance with someone other than her husband?
Well… “Rose, I’ll give you $5,000,000 if you sleep with… or let the hubby sleep with…” The hubby and I are having a conversation immediately!!!

You all have heard of this expression, “There is no such thing as free lunch.” Well… all that easy money you – potentially - are willing to “earn” (you better believe) has consequences and underlying strings attached, that will uncover itself in due time. You will have to be ready to deal with the fallout (good or bad) of your choices… nothing is ever as is seems…

But where I stand today, I clearly know where my limits are… There is no amount of money that will make me deliberately hurt (physically or mentally) someone, cause voluntary pain or be a wilful participant in someone’s unnatural demise… The damages caused would be irreversible to the afflicted one but even worse, they would haunt my conscious… my soul.

“To sell your soul is the easiest thing in the world.
That's what everybody does every hour of his life.
If I asked you to keep your soul –
would you understand why that's much harder?”
~ Ayn Rand

When we start worshiping money instead of controlling it, that is when we lose perspective on what is wrong and what is right. And instead of standing for something, we put ourselves in a position of falling for anything and everything. "MONEY IS A GOOD SERVANT BUT A BAD MASTER."

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26

Keep in mind that Jesus was laid down to redeem our souls and give us back possession of them; clean for a new start and now you are talking about giving it away for mere gain in comparison. If once the soul is lost, it is lost for ever. There is no restitution —counter-price, that can be paid, or will be accepted. It is a loss that can never be repaired, never be retrieved. That new mortgage will never be taken off; there remains no more sacrifice for sins, nor price for souls, and the equity of redemption is eternally prohibited.
To gain everything the world has to offer you and lose your soul in the process means you have gained nothing and lost everything.

While we have to strive for a certain level of comfort in life, and work toward achieving goals - better, more for ourselves and our families - we have to be sober. Trying to achieve the American Dream by building all kinds of things for ourselves here on earth is fine, but we have to remember that the key word is STUFF (houses, cars, properties, social status, money, etc.). In the end these things won’t matter… You can’t take them with you. If you die with riches in the bank but with a bankrupt and neglected soul, you have less than nothing. At the end of your road, for that last trip you will take - the only luggage allowance you will have is that of your soul… make it weighty, and count for something; for it is the key to your eternal life.

Yes, I do believe that everyone definitely has their price. They maybe just don't know it yet, as they haven’t received a good-enough offer, or they know the worth of their soul and recognize that God already paid the ultimate price for it. Therefore, it is good to be wise in time, and do well for ourselves. Live each day in the light of eternity… don’t lose sight of it. No matter how great the potential reward, even gaining the whole world, the cost of getting there will include an irreversible change in yourself that is so bad for you that it will make you unhappy - regardless of what you have gained or think you have gained…

My dear friends, what are your thoughts on this subject? Do you have a price? Do you have boundaries in what you will allow money to sway you or your convictions are simply unwavering... no matter what?

Image courtesy of

Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

“Things change.
Stuff happens. Life goes on.”
~Elizabeth Scott

 Life goes on… This is what I have learned so far in my short life J
IT TRULY GOES ON... Whatever happens to you, failure or celebrating success ... winning or losing... loss and newness in your live… financial disaster, hardships, job loss…if you are happy or sad; regardless of the effect of your actions…life just moves on and keeps keeping on.

I read this today about life “It never stops to ponder yesterday, nor does it falters for fear of tomorrow. It’s just a way of saying Live by the day, do not fear life, go with the flow... today is the day I worried about yesterday, and here it is nothing stopped it from coming" ... I wish I came up with that…
The best lesson to learn is that although life is continuous, it is also not eternal. You only get one! Live it to the fullest, build yourself a collection of experiences and learn from them. Move on from yesterday so you can enjoy your gift while you have it. Take the good with the bad… embrace the challenges…be thankful for what you own but most of all… LOVE you every single day.
Things will happen, right or wrong, your life will change. You will adjust and go on.

Live your life, You are proof that Life goes on…


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wednesday Guest Post "Fatherless America versus The Responsible Men/Fathers" By Djino The Real McCoy

January 2nd was the day when I read an article on the internet about a Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple so they could have a child. Nothing out of the ordinary one would think...However, the most shocking thing is that after his generous donation, years later, the state of Kansas is now trying to make him pay child support.
Yes, you read it right. Your vision is not blurry... The state of Kansas filed a petition seeking to have the man declared the father of the child and financially responsible for the child after the lesbian couple encountered money difficulties.
I can go on and on about the legal aspect and ramifications of this above-mentioned topic but I will zero in on the moral and ethical aspect of a big issue in America: Fatherless America versus the responsible men/fathers trying to do what is right for their kids.
First and foremost, this man out of the kindness of his heart attempted to help a couple that could not have any children to have one and he has to deal with some financial setbacks because of some technicalities. The case is seen now as having repercussions for other sperm donors. Sperm banks routinely provide sperm to people who want to conceive a child on the understanding that the donors are not responsible for the children. That is obviously about to change.
Secondly, I do think that it is about time to confront this most urgent social problem: absentee fathers and the impact on the nation versus the responsible men/fathers fighting every day for their kids.  I read one day that "The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United the re-creation of fatherhood as a vital social role for men". I think that there is a very prominent "culture of fatherlessness" in America that is very detrimental to all of us. What is most troubling is the growing belief that fatherhood is an unnecessary function. Today, our society is making it ok to believe that the main function of a father is just to pay for everything. The child support system in America is a living proof of that. I am not saying in any way, shape or form that deadbeat fathers have to get away scot free but all men are put in the same bag. Statistically, the majority of the cases, the kid(s) go(es) to the mother and the father is just a cash cow to make sure the kid is taken care of financially. Needless to mention the visitation issues.
I think that as a society, we have been mocking the presence of fathers and subsequently, the social role of fathers has been diminished and devalued. Devalued fatherhood has led to higher incidences of crime, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, and child poverty. It is about time to have a revival of the "good family man," and to reinvigorate the role of fatherhood. I am not saying at all that mothers aren't good enough for their kids. On the contrary, i do believe that good mothers are just as necessary as fathers. I am simply saying that neither mother nor father possesses the resources to give a child everything that the child needs. I am of the school of thought that women are not the only parents who are essential to healthy childhood development. Fathers need and must be there to balance everything out emotionally, physically and financially. That is what a real man, a real father is supposed to do but again, a woman has to allow him to do it and act accordingly.
I give a lot of respect and I admire single mothers and single fathers who do everything to have their kids in a safe environment so they can grow up to be swell citizens and adults with the minimum amount of trauma from their past.
But my question is: Should we blame feminism that has played a big part in destroying the sacred institution of fatherhood, equality of rights, egos, pride, personal relationship choices, or the judicial system on those compelling issues?
To give you a view on how distorted things are in our society, let’s go back to the Kansas man who is being sued by the state to be financially responsible for the kid that the lesbian couple wanted to have. Let’s reverse the role now. Do you think that a woman who gave her eggs to a couple so they can conceive would have been sued to be financially responsible for the child? I will go out on a limb and say NO. This story just substantiates what I have said above and shows how men/fathers have become tools or means for financial purposes in a lot of cases.
Ladies, Gentlemen, single mothers, single fathers, parents, what is your take, your views on this compelling and controversial topic/issue?
Yours truly,

Djino is a passionate loving young man happily married but who went through some very difficult times. He once did not believe in loving anymore after a terrible separation from a woman whom he believed to be the love of his life. Little did he know that those trials and tribulations would make him a better man and a better husband to his wife...Love was the farthest thing of his mind until he gave it another try...Now he is back at it again with an exponential outpouring of love stemmed from hurt...may sound like an oxymoron but out of hurt sometimes come the best things in life...Now, Djino has found and rediscovered himself...Love is a beautiful thing...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Do we inevitably grow up while growing old?

Isn’t that an interesting question? Does it boil down to maturity? Maturity… what does that mean?  If we were discussing a fine wine it would be one that had rested for ages and was absolutely marvellous to drink. But we’re clearly not referring to any food or beverage, so what does it mean as it relates to people? When and how does one acquire maturity? Do we automatically mature with age? I mean, is there a simple equation to make it all relative? Perhaps: growing old = age, so age = maturity?

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”
~Maya Angelou

Today I told one of my staff members, “Regardless of the impact of your actions or words, the end result was not a (direct or indirect) consequence of your actions. As a person of integrity, you should be able to stand behind what you said, feel and believe in. Right is right and the reflection in the mirror will and should tell you so. 
But while I said these words, I forgot that maturity - or the lack thereof - is not a matter of age (acquired with years) but a matter of ageless wisdom… Yes, maturity is a combination of sensibility, experience, emotions, subtlety and wisdom.....

Early on, we go through life wishing for the years to come faster than the days in them. We can’t wait until we reach that special age; whether it’s the day we turn 18, 21, 30, or whatever.  It can certainly vary culture to culture and person to person. We are simply hoping that the accumulation of years will give us freedom, free will, wisdom, and autonomy - which in many of our minds, can translate to being mature, or ready. What many don’t realize is that being of age, doesn’t mean that you are of stage. You can be a 67 year old, grey-haired man with the intellectual prowess of a 12 year old. Likewise, you can be a 12 year old, fresh out of junior high school, and posses the smarts and will-power to impact a generation. The stage you are in, as it relates to your life, doesn’t always coordinate with the age you are in. 

So to answer my own question; growing older isn’t really a matter of choice. It is not a part of the “options list” we get to choose from in our lives. We can get as many plastic surgeries, Botox injections, and lipo as we can afford, but when Father Time comes knocking, you must answer. As sure as there is a sun and moon, we will all get old… Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. On the other hand, growing up is an option as it is totally different to growing older. Growing up has more to do with your decision to put away childish things. And nobody can convince you to do so; you have to realize that your life requires a more thoughtful, insightful, unselfish, focused and determined you! When you come to this conclusion, you’ll already have crossed into the first stages of maturity.

Life is what you make of it at any age, or whatever happens (good, bad or indifferent) in your life. Just remember that you can't stop from growing older; that's just a part of life. Remember that every day is a gift, so you need to live it and enjoy it to the fullest. Old in years or not, the maturity that you will acquire throughout the years will make your life more appreciable. In growing older, you go through experiences, situations, challenges, and events that will cause you to adapt, readjust your frame of mind and adhere to different entities you weren’t accustomed to. The way you cope with novelty determines your level of maturity

That thing called maturity…
Maturity is a state of mind, and a state of awareness that has nothing to do with age. Maturity is realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around our being. Maturity is acknowledging others, validating their opinions and points of view, while being able to admit when you are wrong and be humble enough when you are right. How we become mature is connected to how we were brought up and how we reacted to our environment and coped with it. Additionally, we can be mature about some things and immature about others. Maturity isn't something that comes all at once and generalizes to everything in our life.

Maturity is consistently assuming full responsibility of your choices, actions, and behaviours - while recognizing that it does affect not only your life but also those around you. Growing and reaching emotional maturity is reaching a level of perspicacity that regardless of what life throws at you, you can’t reach while being young. But hear me well, age DOES NOT GUARANTEE MATURITY. Growing old doesn’t equal growing up. I’ve said that a few times throughout this blog, but I really want that to sink in a bit. I can’t possibly stress that enough, as it seems people have it completely backwards. There are loads of immature adults out there, just as much as there are tons of mature young adults. However, the expectation is that with age we grow up and gain maturity (I guess another myth easily proven wrong!).

So I guess it all boils down to us. What type of person do we want to be? Do we want to do like the song, and be “Forever Young,” or maybe do like the Toys R Us commercial suggests and, “Never grow up, because we’re Toy’s R Us kids?” Or maybe we want to age like the fine wine I mentioned, and just become better and wiser with time. And we also have to consider that there might be people counting on us to reach our full potential, or maturity. Maybe there are problems out there that we are supposed to solve, but won’t until we fully mature? And until we do, there we will always be anticipation. So let’s get the ball rolling! And it’s perfectly okay to let the process happen, in the same way that I wouldn’t expect to see a 3 year old driving a car. Time cannot dictate when we mature, but rest assured, you will learn some things over time. So let time work to your advantage, rather than against. Let time help you become mature.

“The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.”
― John C. Maxwell

Be someone that makes you happy. Act the age you want to act…with a background of maturity.

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