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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wednesday Guest Post "Fatherless America versus The Responsible Men/Fathers" By Djino The Real McCoy



January 2nd was the day when I read an article on the internet about a Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple so they could have a child. Nothing out of the ordinary one would think...However, the most shocking thing is that after his generous donation, years later, the state of Kansas is now trying to make him pay child support.
Yes, you read it right. Your vision is not blurry... The state of Kansas filed a petition seeking to have the man declared the father of the child and financially responsible for the child after the lesbian couple encountered money difficulties.
I can go on and on about the legal aspect and ramifications of this above-mentioned topic but I will zero in on the moral and ethical aspect of a big issue in America: Fatherless America versus the responsible men/fathers trying to do what is right for their kids.
First and foremost, this man out of the kindness of his heart attempted to help a couple that could not have any children to have one and he has to deal with some financial setbacks because of some technicalities. The case is seen now as having repercussions for other sperm donors. Sperm banks routinely provide sperm to people who want to conceive a child on the understanding that the donors are not responsible for the children. That is obviously about to change.
Secondly, I do think that it is about time to confront this most urgent social problem: absentee fathers and the impact on the nation versus the responsible men/fathers fighting every day for their kids.  I read one day that "The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United States...is the re-creation of fatherhood as a vital social role for men". I think that there is a very prominent "culture of fatherlessness" in America that is very detrimental to all of us. What is most troubling is the growing belief that fatherhood is an unnecessary function. Today, our society is making it ok to believe that the main function of a father is just to pay for everything. The child support system in America is a living proof of that. I am not saying in any way, shape or form that deadbeat fathers have to get away scot free but all men are put in the same bag. Statistically, the majority of the cases, the kid(s) go(es) to the mother and the father is just a cash cow to make sure the kid is taken care of financially. Needless to mention the visitation issues.
I think that as a society, we have been mocking the presence of fathers and subsequently, the social role of fathers has been diminished and devalued. Devalued fatherhood has led to higher incidences of crime, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, and child poverty. It is about time to have a revival of the "good family man," and to reinvigorate the role of fatherhood. I am not saying at all that mothers aren't good enough for their kids. On the contrary, i do believe that good mothers are just as necessary as fathers. I am simply saying that neither mother nor father possesses the resources to give a child everything that the child needs. I am of the school of thought that women are not the only parents who are essential to healthy childhood development. Fathers need and must be there to balance everything out emotionally, physically and financially. That is what a real man, a real father is supposed to do but again, a woman has to allow him to do it and act accordingly.
I give a lot of respect and I admire single mothers and single fathers who do everything to have their kids in a safe environment so they can grow up to be swell citizens and adults with the minimum amount of trauma from their past.
But my question is: Should we blame feminism that has played a big part in destroying the sacred institution of fatherhood, equality of rights, egos, pride, personal relationship choices, or the judicial system on those compelling issues?
To give you a view on how distorted things are in our society, let’s go back to the Kansas man who is being sued by the state to be financially responsible for the kid that the lesbian couple wanted to have. Let’s reverse the role now. Do you think that a woman who gave her eggs to a couple so they can conceive would have been sued to be financially responsible for the child? I will go out on a limb and say NO. This story just substantiates what I have said above and shows how men/fathers have become tools or means for financial purposes in a lot of cases.
Ladies, Gentlemen, single mothers, single fathers, parents, what is your take, your views on this compelling and controversial topic/issue?
Yours truly,
Djino 

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Djino is a passionate loving young man happily married but who went through some very difficult times. He once did not believe in loving anymore after a terrible separation from a woman whom he believed to be the love of his life. Little did he know that those trials and tribulations would make him a better man and a better husband to his wife...Love was the farthest thing of his mind until he gave it another try...Now he is back at it again with an exponential outpouring of love stemmed from hurt...may sound like an oxymoron but out of hurt sometimes come the best things in life...Now, Djino has found and rediscovered himself...Love is a beautiful thing...


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