I have seen many
instances in our permissive and allowing society in which mothers try to be
friends with their daughters to gain their trust or acceptance. On the other
side, I have also witnessed mothers being very adamant about not crossing that
line and staying firm as far as putting forth their authority.
As a man and a father,
I do have my opinion on this but the premise of this open discussion is to
understand the rationale of either side from the maternal/mother perspective
when it comes to this topic. We all have our tenets, principles and belief
systems when it comes to parenthood.
Should the family
culture prevail over the upbringing of the daughter? Should a mother show
authority at all times over gaining acceptance or trust from her daughter?
Which factors/rules/values need to be considered over others?
As a man, I have
observed umpteenth times that a relationship between a mother and a daughter is
very symbiotic. In a symbiosis, you can have two different “elements” having
living arrangements. What I mean by that is that the mother is everything to
the daughter and vice versa but that does not prevent them having their own
place/role.
From my humble
opinion, I do think that a mother has to have a distinct, clear role and
function known by her daughter. A mother needs to show that she is not a friend
nor a “girlfriend”. There is an old saying that “familiarity breeds
contempt” and I do think that our children need to be reminded of that
oftentimes especially nowadays more than ever. I am in no way, shape or form
attempting to say that a mother is to emotionally or physically distance/detach
herself completely for the sake of making sure that there is an understanding
of stature/role.
Most of the mothers
whom I came across with are quite clear about this: they tell me that the
limits are. They state that their daughters are not their confidantes and they
still remain children to their eyes. But I beg to differ that the distinction
is that clear cut.
Mothers nowadays do
want to be able to talk about everything from intimate matters related to their
daughter’s sexuality to very “light” subjects of all sorts. They want their
daughters to view them as more than the mother figure.
So in a nutshell,
should a mother/daughter relationship be based upon mutual respect, friendship
and trust for each other or upon a set of solid expectations that each of them
has to simply fulfill? Which one is essential for a good
relationship/upbringing?
Ladies, what is your
take on this?
Djino
*****************************************************************************
Djino is a passionate loving young man happily married but who went through some very difficult times. He once did not believe in loving anymore after a terrible separation from a woman whom he believed to be the love of his life. Little did he know that those trials and tribulations would make him a better man and a better husband to his wife...Love was the farthest thing of his mind until he gave it another try...Now he is back at it again with an exponential outpouring of love stemmed from hurt...may sound like an oxymoron but out of hurt sometimes come the best things in life...Now, Djino has found and rediscovered himself...Love is a beautiful thing...
