Monday, February 25, 2013

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due… I’m Not The One Reaching For The Stars…

“By loving them for more than their abilities we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.”
Eileen Kennedy-Moore

So many of you have told me how proud you are of me - of us - for the work we are doing with our children. You have pointed out how amazing you think we are with them, and commend us on the different principles we try to instill in them. Some of you have expressed great joy in hearing about the different milestones we’ve crossed, in mapping out and setting forth a beautiful path for them. We are certainly grateful for the encouragement, and for that I want to say a giant “Thank You!”

….. But let me be very honest, and I’ll speak for myself here…

I am truly unpretentious when I say “thank you” but to be completely honest, I have very little to do with what is unfolding in front of me. My life’s path has not always been the most conventional (as far as the proper steps in doing things) but I’ve been lucky, in that most of my decisions have lead me to better routes and destinations. This allowed me to learn and grow from an experience before whatever stage was next to come. Things did not come easy for me - but in no shape or form has life been hard on me. I think because of that, I’ve always known what I wanted out of life and figured that it will fall into place as I went along. I expected, asked for it, worked for it and it happened. I never felt entitled but never thought that it wouldn’t happen. When it took longer to manifest, I persevered and…

While I was and still am a loving, generous, friendly, care-free, and open-minded person; I am also stubborn, lacking in patience (when it came to things I believe should be obvious), innate, and to round it all up, a borderline introvert.
I have two angels I’m taking care of. And while the fact that I am a loving, generous person was a good basis for being a good mother, God knew I would need help in being a GREAT mother and He did help me… He blessed me with amazing kids.
I think in the last 5 years, not only have things still been falling into place but I finally started to want to understand why and how… I have been more in tune in realizing the reasons things were the way they were, instead of accepting them the way they presented themselves and moving on to next. I have come to realize the blessings that have been bestowed upon me this far. While I used to think everything was a matter of being at the right place at the right time, or just being lucky, I know different. I know now that it is all blessings (or repayment) for the good we consciously or unconsciously do. It is also the realization that “things” will be put in your path for your success and it is up to us to recognize and make the right choices for our lives and the ones around us…

My children are amazing kids that were gifted to us. They are kids with abilities, and personalities of their own. They have taught me so much about how to handle life, and how to make it happen for yourself, instead of expecting it for yourself. So I have to give credit back were credit is due. I said to my friend the other day responding to her compliment, “While I do believe that we make what our children’s future is to be - for me - I believe that having my babies has made me the woman that I am now. I am in awe of them. The credit that I give myself is that I recognize the gift I was given and will fight tooth and nail to not let it go to waste.” 

My kids challenge me to be on top of my game as a mother. Loving them and providing to and for them is not enough anymore in this day and age. Having aspirations and a vision of what you want them to be doesn’t cut it anymore. Every day they unintentionally make me step up to the plate as they display abilities that NEED to be nurtured… In the last 5 years, I have grown to see beyond me and what I want for them but to realize what they have to offer and cater to it. They have dreams and aspirations which are (at times) bigger than the ones I have for them. So as their mother, I have the power to make it true for them or at least show them that all is possible. Even though there are things that I didn’t even do for myself, I would do more for them, seeing their true potential and their ability to act on it. We have to make choices in life and I have been learning that I can either accept things the way they are (and the way they come to me) and be content with it, or I can face the new possibilities and take on the responsibility of changing them… and that’s what my children have taught me!

So while I graciously accept all your compliments, I have to recognize that as parents we are only minimally responsible for all the accomplishments of our kids. The rest is a combination of them recognizing their own self-aptitude (gift) and choosing to take advantage of it … Without a dream, a wish or a vision, there will never be a goal to achieve and while we give them the possibility to dream, we are not the creator of their dream. We have no control over their imagination.

We have to be our children’s best cheerleader, providing the step stool they need when reaching for their stars…


Sunday, February 24, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

"The journey of a
thousand miles must begin 
with a single step."
~ Lao Tzu

Life wouldn’t be worth living if we were all empty shells with no dreams, aspirations, hopes or goals… Little or big, possibilities are our driving force. But this is not where it stops; we have to take that first steps towards the vision (towards our goals) if we ever want to see it accomplished. You can't achieve a thing if you don’t try. Only you can make “it” come true.
And while we have to maintain certain urgency toward achieving, we have to remind ourselves to take our time, start small, and think basic for that is where everything begins. Not everything needs to be created or achieved overnight. Some journeys require a step by step method to see them come to term. Instant gratification, although nice, is not always possible.
We need think small sometimes, for that is where everything begins. Don't discount that some journeys are slow, step by step processes. We have to be willing to get in there and start working, slowly and methodically towards the goal.

Remember however long and complicated any endeavor might be, no journey ever gets completed that isn’t started. And once you get started, no matter how daunting, know that you only have to take one step at a time, one after another towards your journey.

Getting started is by far the hardest part…


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday Guest Post "Who Would've Known?" by Jayson

2 weeks ago my son came home with a graded work from his English class; it was a narrative essay they had to work and submit in class.
The assignment was very specific, he had to write a five-paragraph personal narrative in which he reflect on a time in his life when he overcame the odds, worked very hard, and achieved something he wasn’t sure he could achieve. It needed to be a personal story and sound like one. His teacher gave them also a few tips for their narratives
  • Show, don’t tell
  • Use description of all five senses to make your writing come alive
  • Create a meaningful conflict to drive your narrative
  • Add details to make your readers emotionally involved with your story
  • Make sure that the resolution of the story fits the purpose and plot you have developed.
  • Use details to serve your purpose
He had been graded 99% on his essay.

I read it, loved it and asked “baby would you mind expending it and have it posted on my blog?”
So there it is… My Wednesday Guest Blog of The Week…Jayson  “Who Would’ve Known?”
                                                                                                                       Period E
Who Would’ve Known?

A flash of thoughts flew through my mind like a tornado and a hurricane combined. “What am I about to do? Why did I agree to do this? How will people react? Will they like me?” My father could see the panic written all over my face and said, “Just relax and have fun.” Although his voice was reassuring, the storm continued to brew as I got closer to the party I was going to DJ. Still, the question remained; how did I get here?

There was a hot video-game out (which I wanted very badly), called DJ Hero. I decided to pester my parents until they finally broke down and bought it for me. I played that game almost every weekend, day in and day out. I started to get good at it and I bragged about it all the time, especially to my dad. I always used to tell him that, “If DJ-ing was this easy, I’d be a legend.” One day, he got tired of my daily rants and said, “If you think you’re so good, why don’t you try the real thing.” That same week, he ordered some turntables for me to use. I, not knowing how different it was between the game and reality, was blindly and overly confident. Once they arrived, I tried it out still thinking “What could be so hard about this? I got this…”

Of course, the results weren’t a pleasant surprise. Reality hit me in the face as I realized the world of difference there was between being an actual DJ and being a master at “DJ Hero” video game… From then on I viewed DJ Hero as trickery and worked on my skills with the actual turntables. About two months later, my cousin Sabrina Zikianda (Pingree Academy alumni) heard that I was pretty good with the turntables. She was so interested in fact, that she pursued having me DJ her school’s next party. The school offered me a rate of $100/hour, and the party was to be three hours long. Of course it was a great deal for me; I thought I won the lottery and found the way to save up for college (I’m always thinking ahead). So I accepted with no hesitation, again being very confident! About a week or so prior to the party, during my sixth year in middle school, I was practicing with my dad in the comfort of our home and with a crowd that would (at times) grow as large as 5 people… that I knew. What I didn’t know, was how paranoid I’d be and where all that confidence would go.
Now after all that preparation, it’s the day of the party and I’m freaking out. I didn’t know I’d get so nervous when I accepted the gig, but it feels like I’m losing it. The drive to the venue was long and kept me in suspense the whole way. At one point, I was so nervous that the only way to calm myself down was to go to sleep. When my father woke me up, we were at the high school and I was in awe. Being a 6th grader, I didn’t think schools could be any better than the ones I’ve seen but this one was impressive. All the high schools I’ve seen were reasonably big and what I had believed to be structural monuments, but this one just made those schools look like mice in the midst of an elegant cat. Plus, if the exterior is like this, I wonder what the interior was like. Seeing this school offered very little help for me to regain my confidence, which the closer to getting to the venue, the more I was losing. It made me realize how different the world I’m used to actually was, and put in view the many opportunities that were out there waiting. The whole drive to the actual campus was just so beautiful. And it made me realize, there are a whole lot of things in the world that a kid from Lynn doesn’t get to see. It made me wonder about the opportunities I could get or what I’d lead myself to if I had access to those opportunities. Would it change my view on how to live my life? Well, that’s a different story all together…

Regardless of how overwhelming the site was, all I could think of was: its show time.
My father and I got in the school to set up and once again, I was left in awe as the interior was fantastic. I was awakened from my trance as my father snapped his fingers in my face and said to get focused, reminding me why we were here. We set up and the students who attended the school were also setting up the party. By the time we both finished, people were entering the building. The party started at 6:00pm and I was scared out of my mind. Thoughts filled my mind like, “How will they react?”, “Will they like my music choices, my mixes?” “What if I suck tonight?”… My nerves were taking over…

My father started with the first song and gave me the reins to take over the horse. At first I was freaking out and making little mistakes but as the party went along, I started getting comfortable and making fewer mistakes. By the time we hit the thick of the party, I was feeling the music and time was flying by. I couldn’t remember a time when the partiers left the dance floor, except when it was time to go. By the end, I had totally lost track of time. How could the party have ended already?
I got an ovation that I never would have thought I’d get. People were coming up to me, asking me questions and more questions. I told them about my website, handed out some business cards and they were just as ecstatic as I was. I’m glad I had this blind confidence and that I took the opportunity to DJ for the party because not only did I learn that we shouldn’t be scared of facing our fears, but I also discovered they challenge us and make us stronger when we conquer them. And you truly never know the outcome of any action if you don’t give it a try. I also learned that when you do something that you like, even if it seems difficult, you will have a lot of fun! My mentor was there to guide me on the spot and teach me some techniques, but the one person that made the whole experience the success it was ended up being my dad… He calmed me down when I got too paranoid, took my spot when I had to eat or use the restroom, and showed me support the duration of the party.  DJ-ing is definitely not a one man gig, like DJ Hero, and I found my partner in my dad.

Since then I’ve ended up doing all of the parties (at Pingree) for that school year, and I was booked the following more years. I also have been busy DJ-ing for different schools and private parties but sometimes I wonder how? Who would have thought, and who would have known? 
Who would’ve known, except for my dad who claims he knew it all along…

Sunday, February 17, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...


“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, 
and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”
David Mitchell

This is a very touching story that I would like to share with you all. You are already here so please take the time to read it as it is the perfect explanation/interpretation of this Sunday Quote. Do read on and see how every single one of us make a difference in each other’s lives…

This is a story -many years ago- of an elementary teacher.
Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade
class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie.
Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved
them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front
row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he
didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy
and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It
got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in
marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then
putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review
each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However,
when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first
grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He
does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around.
"His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student,
well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has
a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third
grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries
to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home
life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth
grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest
in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of
herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas
presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got
from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle
of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she
found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a
bottle that was one quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty
the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her
wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to
say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left she cried. On that very day, she quit teaching
reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach
children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she
worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged
him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become
one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she
would love all the children the same. Teddy became one of her
"teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her
that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six
years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still
the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Four years after that,
she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at
times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon
graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had
in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter
came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree,
he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was
still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a
little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that
spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He
explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the
wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of
course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the
one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was using
the same type of perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on
their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's
ear, "Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much
for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a
difference" Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She
said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me
that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met

While I’m going to let you all soak this in and reach your own conclusion on the meaning of this story, I will just remind you to NEVER underestimate the Power of Purpose.

What is your Soul Purpose?


Friday, February 15, 2013

Raising Kids… The Seeds I Want To See Harvest Through Their Lives…

“The planting of a tree, especially one of the long-living hardwood trees, is a gift which you can make to posterity at almost no cost and with almost no trouble, and if the tree takes root it will far outlive the visible effect of any of your other actions, good or evil.”
~George Orwell

What could I make sure to teach them, so that they are equipped for life and ready to go out into the world?

I am a mom - a mommy; a mother… At this stage of my life, that is first and foremost, and of the utmost importance! Before having my little angels, I profusely thought of how “it” was going to be… what kind of mother I was going to be… I absolutely knew what I wanted to show them, teach them and leave with them, but now that I am in the mist of it, I realize that it is much easier said than done. I've come to find out, with the years passing (now that they are 13 and 10), I have to adjust to them and conduct myself accordingly. The talks have to become more serious, and the messages clearer; primarily because it actually becomes harder. I think the fact that I try to share “life information” with them is a big challenge, simply because I’m mom!
While I can’t control everything that happens in their lives, I like to think that I can (and should) when it comes to my kids. I also know I should have faith that things will line up and life will be generous, but I want to make sure I’m doing a good job. I want to be certain that I’m raising good human beings, with values and understandings that they will carry with them throughout their lives. And years down the road when they look back at their lives, accomplishments, and individual abilities to withstand difficulties, I would hope that their first thought would be to thank the hubby and I for teaching them right; for giving them the skills to cope with life.

Last week I asked my Facebook friends this question: “Parents and future parents,
What is the 3 most important things you want to pass on to your child(ren) or want them to know about life?”
and I got some great answers. I had my own list (more than 3
J ) but was just curious to see what we all thought were important “ tools” to have in life.

So what are the musts I want to make sure I teach my kids? I’ll share them with you in the order they came to my mind. For some odd reason, I think it will resonate with you parents or parents-to-be out there…

This is what I’d like them to know:

1-      Be kind, considerate, and respectful. I put all those qualities together as I believe those are really taught by example. Children will learn these from their home environment. Watching us and how we interact with each other (and with others) will make sure that those qualities become organic, innate assets or at the very least, very easy to exemplify.  Making “please”, “excuse me”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” part of your regular vocabulary, will take them a long way!
2-      Be compassionate. Make sure you fully assess a situation or a person before you make a judgment call. Learn compassion. Compassion is about realizing we are no more important than anyone else, and we aren't at the center of the universe.
3-      Think for yourself; don’t let anyone else make decisions for you. Question everything… don’t assume anything. Don’t let anyone tell you your answers or lay out your thoughts for you. “Why?”… ask that question as many time as you need until you fully understand.
4-      One of my favorite motto  “Life is a journey, blah blah blah…” The way we are raising our children is the luggage we are helping them pack for their life’s trip. We need to plan it for them as best we can, with the understanding that they may choose a different direction, a different path; and that would be okay… They need to know that every day is an opportunity to pursue or change their path/ journey… Get the most out of the gift of life you've received!
5-      Don’t be afraid of love! It exists! It may take a few tries, heartaches and pains, but it is definitely there for you. For my baby girl, I want her to not be afraid of the prince charming and see him as a myth but to actually look for him; because we all have one waiting to sweep us off our feet… Bibbity Bobbity Boo!
6-      Don’t ever settle…seek to give your very best at all times and you will get the very best. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to be successful. Success doesn't only translate to the quantity of your possessions but the quality of your life. It involves your relationships, and living your values… Success isn't made out of luck... it's a delicate balance of hard work and happiness. Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn't mean you won’t be there someday. Achieving it depends on how bad you want it.  You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
7-      Forgiveness…. Forgive! Let it go BUT learn from every single situation… Do Not Forget! Everyone has their own cross to carry, however; holding a grudge translates to you carrying their cross. Be genuine when forgiving, release and let go but remember the experience, so you don’t make the same mistake again. Everything is the way it was meant to be.
8-      What people think of you shouldn't worry you. Know that you ARE good enough! One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you, however; don’t be overly confident and smug to think you know it all. Be humble. People around us have so much to teach us, and every day should be an opportunity to add to our knowledge book. Teachers are everywhere around you, so keep your mind open… Never stop learning. If you just learn something a little a day, it will add up over time.
9-      Take care of yourself and your family first. While friends are important, nurture your roots and you will be grounded.
10-  Save your money, save and save some more! You will be thankful that you did. Living outside your means will disable you for life. If you don’t have it, don’t spend it! If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.  Be thankful for what you do have, be content with only having what you need and you will see in the long run, you will end up having even more without over-extending yourself.  

Everything is as it should be; everything is going to be alright. Trust in that. Trust that you will always end up where you’re meant to be. Tragedy and challenging situations will teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn.  
Remember, often times when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.

To being able to communicate and teach all of this to my children...


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Celebrating The Years in Our Marriage... It's Our Anniversary….

Early in January, I posted to my Facebook page:

“The realization that you are not the perfection you thought you were is actually marvellous. Instead, you are becoming more and more aware that you are the lucky one in the relationship… RS #TRULYBLESSED”

The hubby and I make a story…a long story. A story that started 22 years ago and today marks 16 years of marriage… It’s a story where the two main characters are compelling and complex… If we could have imagined the plot of our story, it wouldn’t be, nor could it be, more interesting than our life together has already been. We’ve had our share of conflicts, our share of resolutions, our share of great moments, our share of compromises, our share of happiness and joy, and ultimately many, many lessons learned…

Years back in our marriage, when things didn’t go the way I envisioned they could – and when we disagreed while faced with challenging situations - it was always clear to me who was right and who was obviously wrong. I’m sure you can already guess who was what… (J) Seriously, how convenient is it of us to always point the finger at the other person, instead of trying to see how we might have been the cause of the problem? That’s a tough pill to swallow. Anyways, it definitely took years for me to realize that actions come from reactions and reactions are simply responses to actions. It took years for me to realize that my isht stunk just as much as anyone else’s and I had to look in the mirror before demanding. And while it took me years to realize the responsibility I held in this relationship and the weight I carried towards the success of it, the hubby was there. He was accepting me for the person I am, not trying to change me, and loving me even when at times; I made myself difficult to love. And I am sure I wasn’t as graceful when the shoe was on the other foot…

So there we were, driving, talking about the everyday issues we have to deal with, the kids, the house, the groceries… then we suddenly started talking about more serious setbacks we are dealing with. We laughed while concluding, “When it rains, it pours.” At that moment - one of those moments where your heart and your entire body gets overflowed with love for no good reason, and you feel like you are going to burst - I turned around, stared at this beautiful man that is MY HUSBAND, reached for his hand and said, “Baby, we are so good together. I love us.”
This was the eve of my post to Facebook. While every day I am realizing that I am not flawless (but perfect for him), the fact that I have the hubby as my partner makes me feel like the luckiest woman on earth… yes, I am truly blessed…

I read this quote from Bob Marley a long time ago, and today more than ever I feel like it was advice HE personally gave me. It was my story he was quoting. If today someone asked me what was the secret to a great relationship, and what should they always keep in mind and do, I would simply share 2 things. First thing is this perfect quote (because this is us now… this is why we are still together now…)

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
~Bob Marley

And the second thing I would share is this little piece of advice  “In all relationship what really matter is not the years we've put in but the time we invested in those years...” ~RS

Regardless or because of life in our love our story, the hubby has always and still says “if we ever have to be over know it will be because you left me. You got me for life I am going nowhere…”
Edit Piaf song says It’s him for me and me for him in life, he told me so, he swore it for life. And I feel so at peace knowing that if and when we hit a bump on the road I can truly trust in that statement which makes it easy to put our love back on track…
So on this 14th of February I will celebrate not the additional year that just pass, not the wish of a successful one to come but the certitude that I made the right choice when I said yes back in 1997…

Who knows Edit Piaf song La vie en Rose?

“Des yeux qui font baiser les miens.Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche.
Voila le portrait sans retouche de l'homme auquel, j'appartiens.
Quand il me prend dans ses bras, il me parle tout bas je vois la vie en rose…
Il me dit des mots d'amour des mots de tous les jours et ça me fait quelque chose…
Il est entré dans mon Coeur, une part de Bonheur dont je connais la cause.
C'est lui pour moi moi pour lui dans la vie, Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie…”

To the one who will go down in my life story as the love of my life… The Hubby
Happy Anniversary!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

Most people come equipped by nature 
with all of the pieces of a puzzle necessary to enjoy life with excellent health, but by the time they get their career and family underway, most have not only managed to scramble the puzzle … they’ve actually lost some of the pieces"
~ Diane McLaren

We are so worried about growing up, growing old, responsibility and what maturity truly means because we are fearful it will strip us of our dreams and over the top, big, aspirations so when the inevitable does happen we are lost between what is and our real possibilities

A few years ago I read The Road Less Traveled by Peck. He wrote All of life represents a risk, and the more lovingly we live our lives the more risks we take. Of the thousands, maybe even millions, of risks we can take in a lifetime the greatest is the risk of growing up…
While I didn’t fully understand that sentence then, I sure do now. I’ve taken so many shortcuts in my life to get, to achieve, to maintain who I am today that the path that was once clear to me is somewhat of a blur because I’ve let responsibilities alone dictate my moves and allow me to forget some of the biggest dreams I have ever envisaged to make reality… I’ve let my shortcuts take me off course of my dream. While adding to my life the needs a family, career and responsibility brought, I grew complacent where comfort revealed itself.

In order to grow we need to know that changes will take place. We need to be able to tolerate the times when not everything is the way we pictured and imagined it to be but NOT let it confuse us or make us lose our focus. Sometimes growing means taking a second look at some deeply held assumptions of the way we see the world, and that process can be so uncomfortable and a bit scary but the pieces of our puzzles should remain the same while the pace and the order in putting the puzzle together will most likely be different…


Friday, February 8, 2013

"Momento Viviere".... Latin For "Remember To Live"

“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize
nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this… Sometimes you can feel such a moment coming. That’s the test, or so I tell myself. I tell myself that at times like that, strong people keep moving forward anyway, no matter what they’re going to find”
John Hobbes (Fallen)

 Our life… The turning points… The predictable and unpredictable... The expected and the unexpected… Just remember to live it to the fullest!

David Hume once said, "There is no guarantee that the future will conform to our past experience." And he is absolutely right. Good (or bad) events, our accomplishments, and happenings - regardless of the fact that we lived through them - are not guaranteed to be repeated with the same results, even if we follow the same steps as the first time around. Life shows such remarkable regularity, yet there is no reason to believe that any regularity, or even any repetitive occurrences we notice, will persist from one moment to the next. 

“Take each day as an experience and each experience as a lesson taught...
Yes life is unpredictable but looking at it that way, I fear not; but look forward to the next sunrise...” ~RS

There is no such thing as an ideal life… Life is unpredictable regardless of a guaranteed sunrise tomorrow; the way it will turn out is a mystery. No matter where you are, what you are doing or going through, seeking perfection won’t bring you perfection. We all have uncertainty, problems… we all make mistakes because we are only human. The only cast-iron certainty we were given and left with is that we need to live life and not fear life. You just have to make the best of every situation that you come across in your life time. How we act and what we do within today’s certainly, will affect and ultimately modify our futures in one way or another.
Lesson taught…
Every day is a lesson taught (if I haven’t said that a thousand times, let me drill it a bit deeper!). I understand that even with the best planning, results won’t always be what I imagined but I still have to have expectations to guide me through.
Unfortunately for me, my mind (the mechanism responsible for setting my hopes), expects just as many failures and pains as successes and pleasures. Fortunately for me though, what I accomplish and what I expect are not necessarily one in the same because I don’t let myself become boxed in by my - or anyone else's - set expectations.
So even though I know I will experience some hard times, some regrets, some distress, some tears, some pains and some disappointment,  I also expect that I will have love, and that I will live a long,  fulfilling life with meaning to someone (but mostly to myself). I also expect laughter, and I expect to be successful in my career choices…
All of us should expect all of these things, as the bad will teach us and the good will uplift us. However, we all have to understand that they may not all happen in the order that we wish or they may not repeat themselves with the same outcome.

I said earlier, “I fear not the unpredictability of life as I look forward to the next sunrise.”
I have learned in all the things that are good and go right in my life that I can’t get too comfortable and take them for granted. I need to leave my imagination open to the unknown and expand its walls along with my comfort level for the unexpected. To fear and try to avoid pain and suffering is to avoid life.
Life is not easy and lately I’ve been feeling the burden of things not necessarily going my way… the way I imagined them going… the way I "knew" was best for me. It is funny that when 1 thing goes wrong - out of the plethora of things that go right -it can bring you and your aura down to the darkest pit. I have been extremely negative these past few weeks and need to reel it back in…
It is not easy; I have to take it 1 day at the time (joy and pain). I need to enjoy life's difficulties. I need to learn to face the ups gracefully and the downs strongly…

A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, my rights, my wrongs…to enjoying life

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