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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Celebrating The Years in Our Marriage... It's Our Anniversary….


Early in January, I posted to my Facebook page:

“The realization that you are not the perfection you thought you were is actually marvellous. Instead, you are becoming more and more aware that you are the lucky one in the relationship… RS #TRULYBLESSED”

The hubby and I make a story…a long story. A story that started 22 years ago and today marks 16 years of marriage… It’s a story where the two main characters are compelling and complex… If we could have imagined the plot of our story, it wouldn’t be, nor could it be, more interesting than our life together has already been. We’ve had our share of conflicts, our share of resolutions, our share of great moments, our share of compromises, our share of happiness and joy, and ultimately many, many lessons learned…

Years back in our marriage, when things didn’t go the way I envisioned they could – and when we disagreed while faced with challenging situations - it was always clear to me who was right and who was obviously wrong. I’m sure you can already guess who was what… (J) Seriously, how convenient is it of us to always point the finger at the other person, instead of trying to see how we might have been the cause of the problem? That’s a tough pill to swallow. Anyways, it definitely took years for me to realize that actions come from reactions and reactions are simply responses to actions. It took years for me to realize that my isht stunk just as much as anyone else’s and I had to look in the mirror before demanding. And while it took me years to realize the responsibility I held in this relationship and the weight I carried towards the success of it, the hubby was there. He was accepting me for the person I am, not trying to change me, and loving me even when at times; I made myself difficult to love. And I am sure I wasn’t as graceful when the shoe was on the other foot…

So there we were, driving, talking about the everyday issues we have to deal with, the kids, the house, the groceries… then we suddenly started talking about more serious setbacks we are dealing with. We laughed while concluding, “When it rains, it pours.” At that moment - one of those moments where your heart and your entire body gets overflowed with love for no good reason, and you feel like you are going to burst - I turned around, stared at this beautiful man that is MY HUSBAND, reached for his hand and said, “Baby, we are so good together. I love us.”
This was the eve of my post to Facebook. While every day I am realizing that I am not flawless (but perfect for him), the fact that I have the hubby as my partner makes me feel like the luckiest woman on earth… yes, I am truly blessed…

I read this quote from Bob Marley a long time ago, and today more than ever I feel like it was advice HE personally gave me. It was my story he was quoting. If today someone asked me what was the secret to a great relationship, and what should they always keep in mind and do, I would simply share 2 things. First thing is this perfect quote (because this is us now… this is why we are still together now…)

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
~Bob Marley

And the second thing I would share is this little piece of advice  “In all relationship what really matter is not the years we've put in but the time we invested in those years...” ~RS

Regardless or because of life in our love our story, the hubby has always and still says “if we ever have to be over know it will be because you left me. You got me for life I am going nowhere…”
Edit Piaf song says It’s him for me and me for him in life, he told me so, he swore it for life. And I feel so at peace knowing that if and when we hit a bump on the road I can truly trust in that statement which makes it easy to put our love back on track…
So on this 14th of February I will celebrate not the additional year that just pass, not the wish of a successful one to come but the certitude that I made the right choice when I said yes back in 1997…

Who knows Edit Piaf song La vie en Rose?

“Des yeux qui font baiser les miens.Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche.
Voila le portrait sans retouche de l'homme auquel, j'appartiens.
Quand il me prend dans ses bras, il me parle tout bas je vois la vie en rose…
Il me dit des mots d'amour des mots de tous les jours et ça me fait quelque chose…
Il est entré dans mon Coeur, une part de Bonheur dont je connais la cause.
C'est lui pour moi moi pour lui dans la vie, Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie…”


To the one who will go down in my life story as the love of my life… The Hubby
Happy Anniversary!
RosieSandz
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