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Monday, February 25, 2013

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due… I’m Not The One Reaching For The Stars…

“By loving them for more than their abilities we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.”
Eileen Kennedy-Moore

So many of you have told me how proud you are of me - of us - for the work we are doing with our children. You have pointed out how amazing you think we are with them, and commend us on the different principles we try to instill in them. Some of you have expressed great joy in hearing about the different milestones we’ve crossed, in mapping out and setting forth a beautiful path for them. We are certainly grateful for the encouragement, and for that I want to say a giant “Thank You!”

….. But let me be very honest, and I’ll speak for myself here…

I am truly unpretentious when I say “thank you” but to be completely honest, I have very little to do with what is unfolding in front of me. My life’s path has not always been the most conventional (as far as the proper steps in doing things) but I’ve been lucky, in that most of my decisions have lead me to better routes and destinations. This allowed me to learn and grow from an experience before whatever stage was next to come. Things did not come easy for me - but in no shape or form has life been hard on me. I think because of that, I’ve always known what I wanted out of life and figured that it will fall into place as I went along. I expected, asked for it, worked for it and it happened. I never felt entitled but never thought that it wouldn’t happen. When it took longer to manifest, I persevered and…

While I was and still am a loving, generous, friendly, care-free, and open-minded person; I am also stubborn, lacking in patience (when it came to things I believe should be obvious), innate, and to round it all up, a borderline introvert.
I have two angels I’m taking care of. And while the fact that I am a loving, generous person was a good basis for being a good mother, God knew I would need help in being a GREAT mother and He did help me… He blessed me with amazing kids.
I think in the last 5 years, not only have things still been falling into place but I finally started to want to understand why and how… I have been more in tune in realizing the reasons things were the way they were, instead of accepting them the way they presented themselves and moving on to next. I have come to realize the blessings that have been bestowed upon me this far. While I used to think everything was a matter of being at the right place at the right time, or just being lucky, I know different. I know now that it is all blessings (or repayment) for the good we consciously or unconsciously do. It is also the realization that “things” will be put in your path for your success and it is up to us to recognize and make the right choices for our lives and the ones around us…

My children are amazing kids that were gifted to us. They are kids with abilities, and personalities of their own. They have taught me so much about how to handle life, and how to make it happen for yourself, instead of expecting it for yourself. So I have to give credit back were credit is due. I said to my friend the other day responding to her compliment, “While I do believe that we make what our children’s future is to be - for me - I believe that having my babies has made me the woman that I am now. I am in awe of them. The credit that I give myself is that I recognize the gift I was given and will fight tooth and nail to not let it go to waste.” 

My kids challenge me to be on top of my game as a mother. Loving them and providing to and for them is not enough anymore in this day and age. Having aspirations and a vision of what you want them to be doesn’t cut it anymore. Every day they unintentionally make me step up to the plate as they display abilities that NEED to be nurtured… In the last 5 years, I have grown to see beyond me and what I want for them but to realize what they have to offer and cater to it. They have dreams and aspirations which are (at times) bigger than the ones I have for them. So as their mother, I have the power to make it true for them or at least show them that all is possible. Even though there are things that I didn’t even do for myself, I would do more for them, seeing their true potential and their ability to act on it. We have to make choices in life and I have been learning that I can either accept things the way they are (and the way they come to me) and be content with it, or I can face the new possibilities and take on the responsibility of changing them… and that’s what my children have taught me!

So while I graciously accept all your compliments, I have to recognize that as parents we are only minimally responsible for all the accomplishments of our kids. The rest is a combination of them recognizing their own self-aptitude (gift) and choosing to take advantage of it … Without a dream, a wish or a vision, there will never be a goal to achieve and while we give them the possibility to dream, we are not the creator of their dream. We have no control over their imagination.

We have to be our children’s best cheerleader, providing the step stool they need when reaching for their stars…

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