Friday, February 15, 2013

Raising Kids… The Seeds I Want To See Harvest Through Their Lives…

“The planting of a tree, especially one of the long-living hardwood trees, is a gift which you can make to posterity at almost no cost and with almost no trouble, and if the tree takes root it will far outlive the visible effect of any of your other actions, good or evil.”
~George Orwell

What could I make sure to teach them, so that they are equipped for life and ready to go out into the world?

I am a mom - a mommy; a mother… At this stage of my life, that is first and foremost, and of the utmost importance! Before having my little angels, I profusely thought of how “it” was going to be… what kind of mother I was going to be… I absolutely knew what I wanted to show them, teach them and leave with them, but now that I am in the mist of it, I realize that it is much easier said than done. I've come to find out, with the years passing (now that they are 13 and 10), I have to adjust to them and conduct myself accordingly. The talks have to become more serious, and the messages clearer; primarily because it actually becomes harder. I think the fact that I try to share “life information” with them is a big challenge, simply because I’m mom!
While I can’t control everything that happens in their lives, I like to think that I can (and should) when it comes to my kids. I also know I should have faith that things will line up and life will be generous, but I want to make sure I’m doing a good job. I want to be certain that I’m raising good human beings, with values and understandings that they will carry with them throughout their lives. And years down the road when they look back at their lives, accomplishments, and individual abilities to withstand difficulties, I would hope that their first thought would be to thank the hubby and I for teaching them right; for giving them the skills to cope with life.

Last week I asked my Facebook friends this question: “Parents and future parents,
What is the 3 most important things you want to pass on to your child(ren) or want them to know about life?”
and I got some great answers. I had my own list (more than 3
J ) but was just curious to see what we all thought were important “ tools” to have in life.

So what are the musts I want to make sure I teach my kids? I’ll share them with you in the order they came to my mind. For some odd reason, I think it will resonate with you parents or parents-to-be out there…

This is what I’d like them to know:

1-      Be kind, considerate, and respectful. I put all those qualities together as I believe those are really taught by example. Children will learn these from their home environment. Watching us and how we interact with each other (and with others) will make sure that those qualities become organic, innate assets or at the very least, very easy to exemplify.  Making “please”, “excuse me”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” part of your regular vocabulary, will take them a long way!
2-      Be compassionate. Make sure you fully assess a situation or a person before you make a judgment call. Learn compassion. Compassion is about realizing we are no more important than anyone else, and we aren't at the center of the universe.
3-      Think for yourself; don’t let anyone else make decisions for you. Question everything… don’t assume anything. Don’t let anyone tell you your answers or lay out your thoughts for you. “Why?”… ask that question as many time as you need until you fully understand.
4-      One of my favorite motto  “Life is a journey, blah blah blah…” The way we are raising our children is the luggage we are helping them pack for their life’s trip. We need to plan it for them as best we can, with the understanding that they may choose a different direction, a different path; and that would be okay… They need to know that every day is an opportunity to pursue or change their path/ journey… Get the most out of the gift of life you've received!
5-      Don’t be afraid of love! It exists! It may take a few tries, heartaches and pains, but it is definitely there for you. For my baby girl, I want her to not be afraid of the prince charming and see him as a myth but to actually look for him; because we all have one waiting to sweep us off our feet… Bibbity Bobbity Boo!
6-      Don’t ever settle…seek to give your very best at all times and you will get the very best. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to be successful. Success doesn't only translate to the quantity of your possessions but the quality of your life. It involves your relationships, and living your values… Success isn't made out of luck... it's a delicate balance of hard work and happiness. Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn't mean you won’t be there someday. Achieving it depends on how bad you want it.  You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
7-      Forgiveness…. Forgive! Let it go BUT learn from every single situation… Do Not Forget! Everyone has their own cross to carry, however; holding a grudge translates to you carrying their cross. Be genuine when forgiving, release and let go but remember the experience, so you don’t make the same mistake again. Everything is the way it was meant to be.
8-      What people think of you shouldn't worry you. Know that you ARE good enough! One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you, however; don’t be overly confident and smug to think you know it all. Be humble. People around us have so much to teach us, and every day should be an opportunity to add to our knowledge book. Teachers are everywhere around you, so keep your mind open… Never stop learning. If you just learn something a little a day, it will add up over time.
9-      Take care of yourself and your family first. While friends are important, nurture your roots and you will be grounded.
10-  Save your money, save and save some more! You will be thankful that you did. Living outside your means will disable you for life. If you don’t have it, don’t spend it! If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.  Be thankful for what you do have, be content with only having what you need and you will see in the long run, you will end up having even more without over-extending yourself.  

Everything is as it should be; everything is going to be alright. Trust in that. Trust that you will always end up where you’re meant to be. Tragedy and challenging situations will teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn.  
Remember, often times when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.

To being able to communicate and teach all of this to my children...


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