Grasp the blessing, the
privilege and the importance of NOW in your life, because LATER will come with
or without you...
~Rose Sanderson
We like to think that we have no expiration
date attached to us… at least not one that will come to term until we’ve deemed
it’s the right moment. We like to think that time is on our side. We dream big
dreams, we wish grandiose wishes, and we command nothing but the best for
ourselves. We give ourselves a one year plan, a five year plan or even a ten
year plan, with hopes of achieving all that we aspire. We believe in planning
every moment of our journey, every step we will take, how we will step off and
what is the guaranteed recipe for success… the guarantee of achieving ALL that
we want for ourselves… But while we control what our happiness is based on,
what our sense/level of accomplishment will start with, what the perfect timing
for all that we wish for ourselves; we forget that time is not a constant
guarantee in our lives. It is a borrowed gift that we don’t control.
Saturday morning my son had his placement
tests at the prep school we finally chose, from all the ones that had accepted
him. He was excited and I was feeling some
kinda way because I had to play chauffer mom on my weekend off. And while
he went off to do all his tests, I sat for 3 hours of meetings with new parents
and the Dean of Admissions. I had to go through curriculum, schedules,
transportation, endless forms, books and the like… You know - all the fun stuff
you like to do on your weekend off! It was overwhelming… the process felt like
college. Mid-morning, we took a break for coffee and while I stared at my black
coffee cup it dawned on me, my baby, my
first born is going to high school. Where did the time go? Wasn’t he just
10 yesterday? Weren’t he and his sister going to the same school yesterday? What
happened to middle school? My little girl is going to middle school but when
did he finish?
I sat (fighting the tears) because I
couldn’t remember where the past 3 years of his life had gone, which meant I
must not have been present…
Lately, I find myself looking back and not
being able to remember what happened, or how an event got so far away. I spend
so much of my time setting myself goals, objectives and things that we need to
achieve as a family in order to be happy and content that I forget what is most
important… I forget to live and appreciate the moment, the now. A year seemed like yesterday. Even when you think time will
never pass... it passes faster than expected. Time flies but where? Where are
the memories of “that time?” I look back and I'm like, “Wow, that was three
years ago”. I focused on so many things I needed to see happen that I let my
life be ruled by a clock. It is depressing and frustrating that I can’t
remember things… I feel like I’m living a partial life; a life focused on the
future, while the now is when the rewards are appreciated and when we build the
lasting memories for tomorrow. I get depressed about it sometimes, and
frustrated that I don't remember things very well.
While I sat there, I had the realization
that time is fleeting and I need to use it wisely because the next 4 years will
be gone just as fast, BUT this time I need
to live the time.
I should do EVERYTHING - even the most
minute and seemingly insignificant tasks - with great care, effort, and
thoughtfulness, and not wait on the perfect time or moment… The life that I
imagine and want for myself will happen because I will work daily towards
accomplishing it but I won’t live only to accomplish it!
I need to live every moment of my life. I
need to learn all the lessons that arise through the life I’m living. Then I
will be. I’ll be able to say that I AM.
I AM the product of my choices, my
decisions, my life… the years I’m living are being transformed into indelible,
unforgettable memories because I’m choosing to appreciate the NOW.
We don’t know the date, the hour, down to
the minute of when the too late will be. Realizing that tomorrow eventually
will not come for me and that I will die helps me put things in perspective and
realize that those little moments that we take for granted are those that we
need to cherish and remember.
I want to be able to "ALWAYS" see
the "silver lining" in every cloud, to stay away from the negative
and to stay "POSITIVE"!!! I want to stop worrying about life moving
too fast, and instead jump on board and enjoy the rollercoaster life takes me
on. Instead of tuning out, I need to stay fully plugged in. I must stop and
take a look around every once in a while - I could miss it and it's just too
short to be worrying all the time!!!
Remember - a happiness shared is a happiness
increased, a dream shared is a dream realized and memories made and remembered
as a life lived.
What about you? Have you ever felt that life was leaving you behind? do you feel that you are trying to catch up to your life more than living your life?
RosieSandz
