Sunday, June 30, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

The only person you should try to be better than
is the person 
you were yesterday
~ Unknown 

Don’t be complacent… Don’t settle…
Your limit will not be reached until that last breath you’ll take.  
Be your own benchmark, be your own threshold to exceed. That reflection in the mirror you stare at everyday should be your motivation to be better, to do better and to seek for better.

Walk that talk that is hard to walk…

Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Lies I've Been Telling Myself... About Myself...

“It wasn't an excuse. It was a fact. He'd have to make his way alone, and no one — not rock stars, not professional athletes, not software billionaires, and not even geniuses — ever makes it alone.”
― Malcolm Gladwell

 I need to realize that if I am going to make it in this world, successfully and with all my sanity, I need to get my shit together! I need to realize that the world is not the easiest thing to manage when you worry about what directly (and visibly) surrounds you. If that’s not enough, it gets even more complex when you learn and pay attention to the effects and prominence of all that indirectly and unobtrusively carries weight in your life.
Whether we’d like to think or believe it, sometimes the outside influences can impact our life just as much to us as our very own ideas and beliefs. So… if I’m going to be “good” in my life, I have to surround myself with people who are better than me; people who are good for me, people who believe in me and people who challenge me. And more importantly, I need to value these people…

We are all are born with a predetermined talent. It has become exceedingly clear to me that the ability to successfully manage relationships is not an innate gift of mine… Am I one of those people who can be brilliant and accomplished (in certain aspects of their life) but can’t find the balance, or figure out how to juggle all the balls that make one’s life a full circle? The intuitive answer is simply YES… I am one of those. And unfortunately for me, I am dropping the ball that probably plays the heaviest role in living a fulfilled life…The relationship ball

A few months ago, The Hubby’s 26 year old cousin went to sleep holding her young daughter and never woke up…she had a seizure in the middle of the night…
Last week, after deciding to contact my sister-girl who lives in the West Coast, I found out that after a regular day (and a peaceful night), her sister was rushed to the hospital with stroke-like symptoms and follow-up episodes that she is still trying to overcome and understand... Three days later, I bumped to one of the first friends I made when I came to this country, roughly 22 years ago - We were catching up about our lives, as we have not spoken in over 2 years (where did the time go…). I asked her how her husband was and she replied, “Oh my God, you don’t know? He had a major stroke a year ago and his whole left side is paralyzed!” She proceeded to tell me how after a beautiful day of family time with their kids and some friends, he went to get his motorcycle cleaned and filled with gas and never made it home…
Yesterday, while shopping for patio furniture, I crossed paths again with someone I worked with for 8 years but hadn’t seen for years. We hugged and laughed while reminiscing about the “good ole’times” and the people we worked with. Then I asked, “How is Benny?” Benny… the little, feisty Hispanic lady, full of life and laughter, that used to keep us all in check. “Benny? Benny died two years ago, she found out she had terminal cancer and was gone in less than a year.”

What is it that I don’t do? What is it that I am not realizing?

I’m allowing things to happen around me, and I’m not involved when I should be. Life is just so short, and I feel like I’m missing out on important events in the lives of those who are my friends (and long time friends).

The phone is ringing… I’m tired. I need a mental break. I need just a “me” moment. I don’t answer the phone. An hour passes, two hours pass… the day is almost over… I look at my phone and see that I missed calls from my bestie in Belgium, so I listen to the messages, telling me how much she misses me…
My friend is going through “it”. I listened, then acted right away; helping in the way I saw fit and within my range of ability. I’m happy to help, they’re happy for getting the listening ear, the love and the support and I’m happy that they are happy. Then I checked back a couple weeks later and some of the conversation went, “Hey love, how are you? Is everything okay? Do you need anything?” Then I finish the conversation with, “Listen, you know me! You may not hear from me, you know me and the phone… but know that I love you and if you need anything, please do call me”… Seriously Rose?!?!
My friends want to connect, spend time like we used to, and catch up… we schedule dates, I find a way to flake... They extend open invitations to accommodate my busy schedule, yet I still find ways to miss, to forget or just cancel.
When I finally call/text, I’m being ignored… I know why but don’t understand why… I love them, they know how I am… Why are they taking offense? I am ready now to see them; it’s now convenient for me. I am now going through my friendship withdrawal, so why can’t they just “get with the program” and meet with me so we can catch up?

What is it that I’m not doing? Who is it that I’m not?

What I’m not doing is cultivating the meaningful relationships I establish throughout my journey. Who I am not is the kind of person people should be proud to call their friend. What I’m not realizing - or choose to overlook - is that this is a temporary opportunity…
A life lesson is that no one makes it alone and lately this realization has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not living my lesson. It is mind-boggling to me how I ever expect my life’s puzzle to come to completion in a meaningful way while I take for granted those that have the power to make life meaningful for me.

“Life is in no shape or form misleading. It clearly shows you that it is transitory. It is a euphemism of what forever is” ~RS and I need to take that knowledge seriously.

Why am I so successful in reaching some of my goals, but not others? I need to stop acting as if this whole thing is confusing and learn to balance, to juggle all that impacts and is involved in my life. I need to get my shit together and value my relationships enough that those involved don’t feel like temporary crutches in moments of my life but full participants in the journey of me.
Nobody makes it alone.

Are you surrounding yourself with people that are pushing you, challenging you, and making you better? Who are they? And more importantly, are you appreciating them?

Too late comes sooner than we think…

Sunday, June 23, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

“Every second you spend not knowing yourself worth
but seeking from others what you should inherently gift yourself ,
is diluting your potential away...”
~Rose Sanderson

We look for love in all the wrong places...
We seek out acceptance from the wrong people...
We yearn for praises from those who are indifferent...
The love that counts comes from within...
The acceptance that matter starts with self...
And the acknowledgment that makes a difference is self-given 
Knowing your worth will determine the threshold of the love you deserve.

Loving yourself means having a relationship with you and knowing that you are an important part of ALL that is you! When you are self-aware, there is great love, consistency, honesty, dependability and goodness emerging from your person. Loving yourself means you are responsible and in charge of yourself. You own the direction of your happiness. You are only responsible for the love in yourself or loving yourself. When you love yourself, people can’t challenge yourself worth.


Monday, June 17, 2013

Life's Greatest Gift God Endowed us with...

“No man should bring children into the world
who is unwilling
to persevere to the end in their nature and education.”
― Plato

This true story I’m about to tell you happened this morning, Sunday June 16th 2013, on Father’s Day…

I woke up early this morning getting ready for my Sunday long run/walk. Today my sister-in-law had decided to join me. 9am we are finally out of the house, headphones on, music blasting, and the sun is out with still a beautiful morning breeze keeping us cool before the temperature hit its peak. We are maintaining a good pace. Almost at a mile, alternating between runs and speed walks, I see across the street walking down toward us 2 little “kids”. I slowed my pace as I’m not quit registering what I’m seeing. I stop running, look at my sister who looks just as chocked as me. So I crossed the street.

I kneeled down in front of this cute little boy, couldn’t be more than 5 years old, barefoot, dark blisters on his little bottom lip, and holding the hand of a very pale toddler (couldn’t be 2 yet) dressed in a filthy 1 piece pyjama.
“Hey baby” I said softly to the older boy “where are you going? Where do you live?”
“My baby sister woke up so I’m taking her for a walk” with no fear in his eyes as he is talking to a stranger “I live far, at 249 xxxxx Angela was crying so I took her for a walk”
“Where is your mommy” I asked while wondering what we should do next.
“My mommy is sleeping”
“Alright” I said “show us where you live so we can take you home”

It quickly became very clear that he didn’t know how to get back home however he knew is address (which is part of the project housing around where we were) unfamiliar to me.
We started walking; Angela who looked so pale and un-normally calm, came in my arms with no hesitancy.
We walked, turned around the corner and there was a man standing in his front yard across the housing project so I asked:
“Excuse me sir, do you know these 2 babies?”
He said no. I explained to him what was happening and we decided the best thing to do was to call the police.

It took the police department a little over 15 minutes before they dispatched a car to where we were. During those 15 minutes we found out a life story…what I feel safe to assume to be a sad life story… He was 5, she was19 months old. “Daddy? I don’t know. He is not at my house”. “Breakfast? No, we didn’t eat yet…mommy will make me macc n’ cheese when we get home” “I go to school at (silence)… 249 xxxxx (his address)”
I asked my sister, should we leave them with those people since the police are coming. Thank God she was there to put sense into me, she said Rose, we don’t know those people. We just can’t leave the kids, and what if something happened to them?”

The dispatched car finally came around the corner, stopped in front of the house. The officer pulled his window down and asked what was going on. Once again I started to tell the story and before I was even able to finish he saw the older boy and said “you again? Don’t you live at 249 xxxx?”
The boy right away said “I didn’t go to the store, I promise!”
The officer said “yes I know, you always take care of your baby sister…” He took the kids and put them in his backseat, I asked him where he was taking them, and he said he was taking them home. “Why take them home apparently they are not being taking care for”. He said he had to go there first and then they would file with social services.

I didn’t understand. My heart was hurting. My throat was closing up…it was painful to watch how at 5 years of age he was so fearless of us, strangers, and of police officers. It was so disturbing to know where they were being taking back to…
My sister said come on Rose, it is what they are supposed to do, they have to assess the situation…let it go”

I finally put my headphone back on…music was blasting again…I resumed my Nike+ GPS run and went back to my business. But my day was forever changed…

EVERY child deserves to feel loved, safe and special. They deserve a loving environment surrounded by people who cares for them. They deserve the opportunity and ability to be a child and not be forced to grow up too soon. They deserve an education and the chance to make a life for themselves. ~RS

Unlike the “heroes” we create ourselves to be such as nurse, doctors, police officers, firemen, soldiers… To be able to bring a life into this world makes us innate heroes as it is life’s greatest gift God endowed us despite the negativity in this world. Fathers and mothers, let’s take our role seriously!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Trying to Steal My Happy...

Yesterday I sat trying to write a post about people's misery and the effect it can have on your life, and I remembered about this piece I wrote almost a year ago and how relevant it still is... 
That is why I call my posts My Life Lessons...

Building Your Life While Your Joy is Being Stolen...

Many people live their lives crucified between two thieves – the regrets of yesterday, and the anxieties of tomorrow.  ~ Erwin Lutzer
So many times, my happiness and joy have been stolen by negativity, pessimism and nihilism…
I take a look at my life and can’t help but think about my “now” and how I got where I am today. I look at the hurdles, the pains, the doubts, all the times I revisited and re-evaluated decisions I’ve made, all the times I wanted to give up and give in to pressure, and all the times that I thought, “This is it, it’s not for you, move on…” The tears…the endless tears because my 100% wasn’t enough, it wasn’t a guarantee. Then I had to learn. I had to learn that even if my joy was (seemingly) being stolen from me, I had to keep on building my life. Anything taken away is ultimately a temporary state; all can be replaced and enhanced for deeper joy and appreciation.
Life is made up of so many components. Some are obvious and expected, while some are hidden under invisible folds that catch you by surprise. Either way, on whichever side of the scale of what predominantly happens in your life, we need to accept and understand that life is made of good and bad moments and know that without the bad, the good wouldn’t be so rewarding…

Don’t cry because of what you are going through…smile because it happened and now it’s gone…
Although it’s normal to feel discouraged and down after experiencing and holding on to anger, resentments, and emotional upsets.  Let go, free your heart! Forgive the thieves, forgive the wrong doers in your life and make amends with whomever you need to; what you will experience from forgiving will be rewarding and joyous.
But most importantly, you need to remember that you are not perfect. Your mistakes are part of your growth, so learn to forgive yourself and embrace your imperfections.
When being deceived and surrounded by negativity, everything at that moment takes on a greater proportion than what it really is. Looking back on what you considered to be your biggest challenges, in retrospect are now mere particles of your life’s puzzle… small stuff. When put in perspective, you realize all those “small stuff’s” combined, are part of life. They are what helps you build your character and find the strength to take on more…
I’m not saying to live life expecting the worst at all times, but what I am saying is to live life knowing challenges may/will happen and to be ready for the lessons.
You have the power to hold on to your life, happiness and joy…build your life and decide on the behaviour you want to display.
While building our lives, we are not always in control of our circumstances. Understanding that and the fact that many things can happen, while stacking up the walls of your existence, are out of your control. Having a vision and shaping your future is always a positive and joyous project. Making it happen is where the challenge is, as the chasms on the road can be very treacherous. Some past events will shape part of the unforeseen future.

“There’s nothing so bad in this world that it couldn't be worse” –Irish Proverbs

Keep building your life through a mixture of circumstances and in the process don’t let your joy be taken away. Hold on to it! What you will come across down your path and around the corner will require and generate more joy!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Life... The Gift.


"You were given this life not to go through the motion of it but because you were made strong enough to build your own journey...
You were given this life not to move mountains but to create a path through them...
You were given this life to put your stamp on it and be an object of admiration, an example for the succeeding generation...
You were given this life because nothing that would come your way could stop you from being and achieving all that you want...
You were given this life because of all your blessings to discover...
You were given this life because you matter...
That's why you were given this life..."
~Rose Sanderson 

When I have my moments of doubts, when I do question myself and my abilities; I need something that reminds me of why I was given this gift and that this is not it. There are much more blessings for me to uncover on my path. 
This is my "get-it-together" mantra that I'm sharing with you because Life, to be fulfilling, is not always an easy journey... 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

“Nobody makes it ALONE.
The ones who surround and those who believe in you
are the ones who keep you going in life.
They are the ones placed in your path to help you succeed
and back you up in everything you do.
Remember, the road to true success is not a lonely one…”
~Rose Sanderson

By Maya Angelou

“Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.”

This poem is extremely powerful, Maya Angelou's repetitive use of the phrase, "Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone" reminds us that we can’t bare it all alone, that we shouldn’t bare it all alone because nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone.

It is important to our existence that we surround ourselves with good people who we believe (because they are where we aspire to be), trust and in turn who believes in us and trust us. It is these people who will be able to not only assist us in our quest to make it through life, to help us reach our goals but also they will help us enjoy it on the way.

In the different aspects of your life, be selective of whom you surround yourself with…

Sunday, June 2, 2013

My Sunday Quote of The Week...

“When HE who knows best, places along your path, the blessing/people that are best for you; you need to be humble, unpretentious, grateful and appreciative of that gift –but even more than that, you need to be thankful for the mortal hands HE used to provide you with the gift”
~Rose Sanderson

I remember sitting down a long time ago and having this interesting conversation with a lady about how life was at times so hard to handle and difficult to navigate through. I didn’t quit understand why if you are a child of God, HE didn’t just make things happen for you. Why HE didn’t make life an easy breezy journey like a walk in the park on a sunny day.
The lady said to me “you have to know, learn about yourself and what you want out of life and only then HE will intervene to help you”. Back then I brushed it off but through my journey and My Life Lessons I realized that although HE is always aware of your situation, HE doesn’t make our situations, HE helps us through our situations.

From My Lips to God’s Ears…

God does hear what you are saying/asking/praying/longing for and your hope that he will grant/bless whatever your free will has built as desire in you.  

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