"Your
time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't
be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's
thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner
voice.
And
most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They
somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything
else is secondary."
- Steve Jobs
I'm not here because I'm the smartest of them all… On the
contrary, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful, intelligent people,
who teach me something every single day... They teach me (either purposefully
or unbeknownst to them) things I didn't know but needed to know...
Case and point - In any environment, you will encounter
those who feel that the very fact you are in the position you're in, is an
insult to them, because of the road it took for you to get there. And then you
will also encounter those who take time to see the good you bring. Those people
will usually offer you the support and appreciation you sometimes need to feed
of off, to keep you motivated and going for more and better.
It’s amazing, the expectations we impose on people but
mainly that we impose on our children…
I was a very carefree young girl and all I really cared
about was dancing and hanging out with my friends. So far from the ideology my
parents had for me. Among 11 brothers and sisters, only my brother DD (J)
and I stood out as the "odd ones," as school was never a priority of
ours and our friends were not all to the approval of my parents. Recently, my
mom was here and we had a good laugh - reminiscing of the past and how I used
to have her so stressed out. The one story that always comes to my mind (with
still a genuine level of amazement) is when at the age of 16, I got my first
and ONLY beat down in my life, period! But the more important fact was, that
1st experience was given to me by one of my parents; my mother.
She had received a call from someone who was looking for me
because I was late to the set of a music video I was cast in. That day, as soon
as I stepped through the doors of our home, it felt like I entered the 4th
dimension. As soon as she uttered the words, "Where are you coming
from," I knew the tone of her voice was just different… That’s the only
thing I think I had time to analyze (the tone of her voice) before begging for
help from my brothers, sisters and even Jesus (while I had become a living
punching bag)...
To this day, although I was well bruised afterwards, the
pain is not what I remember…
I just remembered thinking, “Wow… My mom beat me…
naaaaahhhh, it can’t be!” But the look my brothers and sisters gave me
confirmed it…Yes, she actually did beat me…
And ‘till this day, even though I know her rationale, I
still don’t understand it. Her perception of who I was and what I did, was so
different from who I actually was, that I couldn’t, and even now can’t
understand… But I get it…
The investment I made for myself is to create this
fundamental principle I decided to obey from that point forward - “Know that
not everybody will understand your choices or your needs, not everybody will
recognize or appreciate your worth and ideals, and not everyone will welcome
your opinion or input, BUT just as long every step you take is made for the
betterment of yourself and this by standing by your choices, be unwavering when
it comes to your standards. And by understanding others' right to disagree with
you, you will amount to something!”
While I was considered a “rebel” among my book-worm siblings
and by my parents, I made sure I invested in myself. I placed a bet on the only
thing I could control, and that is me… I trusted that I would know best for
myself and would make decisions that would directly benefit me...
At the end, it is the person you will build yourself to be
that will demonstrate the true success of who you are. It is the bits and
pieces you will keep as references; it is what you will hold on to along the
way that will show the true investment you made for yourself. Whether you abide
by your own creed and follow through is up to you to decide. You can't live by
someone else's philosophy, and then live in regret when what works for them
doesn't yield the same results to you!
On my way to the airport for another business trip, I got to
talking with a family friend. He said, “Rose,
you need to make sure you remind the kids everyday why you do the things you
do… Why you sacrifice the time you could have with them by being away from
them. Remind them to work hard every single day because they should strive to
be their own boss one day and along that way, they should be able to provide
for themselves… Tell them, Rose, the reason you are doing all you do is to
provide for them the right opportunities. Keep telling them how important
school is and how college should be their number one priority…” So funny…
Those were the same words my parents use to say when trying to make us
understand the decisions they made or were making. Funny, because back then I
used to think, “Whatever, it’s all a bunch of blah blah blahs…”
But now I get it… So I said to him, “You are so right not everyone will be as lucky as me!”
“No Rose” he said, “It’s not luck, you worked hard to be where
you are, you may not have taken the easiest way but you took the way that felt
comfortable for you and you learned. You applied and learned some more”…
I was on the plane thinking of this conversation and I
realized for a quick minute, I forgot about my principle. And I realized how
when you become a parent yourself, your frame of mind takes a slight left from
what you had been marching to for years. True enough, nothing is ever just
“luck,” especially when success is involved.
Don’t lessen what you’ve accomplished because of the
unconventional way you went about it. It actually takes discipline. The "rite of passage" for a parent is to be
able to say I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I want to save you from the
unnecessary trials and errors and show you the quickest safest way to a
successful life… I truly get it now…
