“It’s good to have money and the
things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and
make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.”
~George Lorimer
Yes that is what I believe… And don’t read into what I didn’t
write!
Let’s be clear, when I say “Money can save love,” what I’m
NOT saying is, “Money is the only thing that can save love.” This is a very
important difference to highlight. Money, in conjunction with other things,
will save love… because love does need sustaining, love needs help!
LIES! LIES! LIEEEEEESSSS are being spewed by those who say
they'd live out of a cardboard box (let’s add moldy box to make this even more
dramatic), under a bridge, be content with passionate encounters in the back of
truck, calling home his or her parents basement and even better… surviving off water
and bread, just as long they got love... LIES! When they say love is the most
important thing they need, and that they are comfortable bringing kids into
this world with no money, or plans of making money because they believe LOVE
will conquer all… this is clearly LIES or they are clearly clueless…
I’m smiling as I finish writing my intro to this blog
because I can hear the hissing and the booos J. So while you might
still believe in this notion that love is the end-all, be-all, after reading my
thought process and what life has taught me, I hope you will be willing to
share with me your point of view.
“Money isn't the most important
thing in life,
but it's reasonably close to oxygen
on the "gotta have it" scale.”
~Zig Ziglar
So, The Hubby and
I met 24 years ago and yes I must admit, at the cusp of being 20 with no
responsibilities, I was one of those people who thought all we needed was love…
Oh sweet naivety J.
I thought “Happily ever after” was guaranteed after finding
who I knew to be the one. Speaking from experience, I can say that fairy tale is exactly that… a fairy
tale. The truth is that having and maintaining a relationship is not easy. The divorce
rate tells us that love is not enough. Even though it is a potent ingredient,
it is not enough to make sure you will travel through life’s experiences, hard
times, questionable times, naïve and unscathed. Many other dynamics are needed
to keep a relationship going and money comes really close!
Love gives you wings - it gives you a sense of security and gives
you that sense of nothing is impossible,
just as long as you have “Love.” But my belief is, that love through course of lifetime
is ever changing. What was feeding your new love is different from what is
feeding your current love today, with the same person or… with someone
different. Love is the constant reminder of why we are in the relationship,
love will give an advantage to your relationship when it needs to be fought for
but love (while it is the most important thing to experience, or to have) will
not eradicate the need of money in your life. Money gives us what is needed to
make it work, to make that foundation that is love, grow stronger, sheltered.
I read somewhere “You
can wear all the stupid armbands, ribbons & pins you want. Until you cut
your charity a check, it ain't Love.” I laughed but it is true… Love needs
backing… Love needs action…
We grew up, we matured, we acquired given responsibilities,
made tough decisions and made mistakes that affected our way of life, all the
while having money at times or none most of the time! I did marry for love, and
I’m still in it for love because I made sure I didn’t fall in love with a man
who had no aspirations, or goals, or deep desire to take care of us… His
family.
While love helped us think twice before giving up and giving
in, the fact that both of us knew that it was not okay to have the minimum,
that we had to strive for better, that we knew that “moldy cardboard box”
underneath the Brooklyn Bridge wasn’t an option for us, the fact that we knew
that we needed to break our back and find money is one of the main reasons we
are still together … in love. We are partners in this thing called life. We are
not actors in a Happily Ever After
movie in LaLa land. It’s not always 50/50. Most of the time it’s 70/30 and it changes,
depending on circumstances but the key is, that we have learned, to be in it
forever, love is one of the common denominators. Love will remind us why we are
in it but in addition, dedication, acceptance, willingness to sacrifice and
money (with all it brings you, i.e., peace of mind, security, life’s
necessities, etc.) will facilitate growth in us and our love.
Love, true love, long lasting love is a luxury. It’s a gift
that you seek and focus on finding, when all of your other basic needs (food,
shelter, clothing...) are met. When you have the peace of mind that while
tomorrow is not promised without challenges, you have the ability to provide
and rise above the things that can shake and put a strain on that love. But
think about it, what do you need to have these basic needs? Money, right? So
what makes you think that money can’t save love?
Money can save love… Money just can’t buy real love...
“Money may not buy love, but it sure makes one hell of a
down payment to my happiness” I’m just saying…
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone;
it has to be made like bread…
Remade all the time, made new…
All the time, made new…”
Amy E. Dean
RosieSandz
