Sunday, January 11, 2015

Money Can Save Love...

“It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.”
~George Lorimer

Yes that is what I believe… And don’t read into what I didn’t write!
Let’s be clear, when I say “Money can save love,” what I’m NOT saying is, “Money is the only thing that can save love.” This is a very important difference to highlight. Money, in conjunction with other things, will save love… because love does need sustaining, love needs help!

LIES! LIES! LIEEEEEESSSS are being spewed by those who say they'd live out of a cardboard box (let’s add moldy box to make this even more dramatic), under a bridge, be content with passionate encounters in the back of truck, calling home his or her parents basement and even better… surviving off water and bread, just as long they got love... LIES! When they say love is the most important thing they need, and that they are comfortable bringing kids into this world with no money, or plans of making money because they believe LOVE will conquer all… this is clearly LIES or they are clearly clueless…

I’m smiling as I finish writing my intro to this blog because I can hear the hissing and the booos J. So while you might still believe in this notion that love is the end-all, be-all, after reading my thought process and what life has taught me, I hope you will be willing to share with me your point of view.

“Money isn't the most important thing in life,
but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale.”
 ~Zig Ziglar

So, The Hubby and I met 24 years ago and yes I must admit, at the cusp of being 20 with no responsibilities, I was one of those people who thought all we needed was love… Oh sweet naivety J.
I thought “Happily ever after” was guaranteed after finding who I knew to be the one. Speaking from experience, I can say that fairy tale is exactly that… a fairy tale. The truth is that having and maintaining a relationship is not easy. The divorce rate tells us that love is not enough. Even though it is a potent ingredient, it is not enough to make sure you will travel through life’s experiences, hard times, questionable times, naïve and unscathed. Many other dynamics are needed to keep a relationship going and money comes really close!
Love gives you wings - it gives you a sense of security and gives you that sense of nothing is impossible, just as long as you have “Love.” But my belief is, that love through course of lifetime is ever changing. What was feeding your new love is different from what is feeding your current love today, with the same person or… with someone different. Love is the constant reminder of why we are in the relationship, love will give an advantage to your relationship when it needs to be fought for but love (while it is the most important thing to experience, or to have) will not eradicate the need of money in your life. Money gives us what is needed to make it work, to make that foundation that is love, grow stronger, sheltered.

I read somewhere “You can wear all the stupid armbands, ribbons & pins you want. Until you cut your charity a check, it ain't Love.” I laughed but it is true… Love needs backing… Love needs action…

We grew up, we matured, we acquired given responsibilities, made tough decisions and made mistakes that affected our way of life, all the while having money at times or none most of the time! I did marry for love, and I’m still in it for love because I made sure I didn’t fall in love with a man who had no aspirations, or goals, or deep desire to take care of us… His family.
While love helped us think twice before giving up and giving in, the fact that both of us knew that it was not okay to have the minimum, that we had to strive for better, that we knew that “moldy cardboard box” underneath the Brooklyn Bridge wasn’t an option for us, the fact that we knew that we needed to break our back and find money is one of the main reasons we are still together … in love. We are partners in this thing called life. We are not actors in a Happily Ever After movie in LaLa land. It’s not always 50/50.  Most of the time it’s 70/30 and it changes, depending on circumstances but the key is, that we have learned, to be in it forever, love is one of the common denominators. Love will remind us why we are in it but in addition, dedication, acceptance, willingness to sacrifice and money (with all it brings you, i.e., peace of mind, security, life’s necessities, etc.) will facilitate growth in us and our love.

Love, true love, long lasting love is a luxury. It’s a gift that you seek and focus on finding, when all of your other basic needs (food, shelter, clothing...) are met. When you have the peace of mind that while tomorrow is not promised without challenges, you have the ability to provide and rise above the things that can shake and put a strain on that love. But think about it, what do you need to have these basic needs? Money, right? So what makes you think that money can’t save love?
Money can save love… Money just can’t buy real love...

“Money may not buy love, but it sure makes one hell of a down payment to my happiness” I’m just saying…

            “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made like bread…
Remade all the time, made new…
All the time, made new…”
Amy E. Dean


1 comment:

  1. Love is the best foundation you can ever build on, but money helps you build. Can't live, eat, or retire off LOVE, but you can in Love.


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