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Tynt

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Setbacks; The Best Springboards to Comebacks…

Not all need to be shared, and not all need to weigh upon your happiness…

“The place where you are right now God circled on a map for you
Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move
Our Beloved has bowed there knowing
You were coming…”
~Hafiz


Have you heard the expression, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Well, I have; so much so, that for me it also meant, “If you don’t have anything good to share, don’t share anything at all!”
When I use social media, I pride myself on keeping things as real, truthful, and as authentic as I can without compromising my family, friends, and my privacy. When I have bad days or I think something is crap and needs to be called out, I have no shame in calling it like it is… When I have good days (or great days, and I am on a “high”), I love to share those moments because hopefully, it will be contagious to at least one person, or just because it makes me happy.
However, two months ago I decided to put myself on a self-imposed hiatus from my blog, Facebook… I remember thinking, “Rosie (that’s how I refer to myself when I’m upset), you don’t want to continuously hear others’ misery, so what makes you think anyone wants to hear your shit?” I was so consumed by my feelings, negative feelings, that I had nothing, NOTHING good to share…
I felt so unhappy with myself that I felt I didn’t have much to offer, so I felt the need to unplug.

So fast forward to yesterday. I thought I was still doing the right thing. At this point, I missed the interactions but was okay without it until…

The simplest conversation brings up the biggest “Aha” moments…

Sunday morning in our kitchen, laughs, teases, talks… a usual day at the Sanderson’s and then the conversation turned very specific - “Who is the happiest person in our family?” Ummm…
I listened as two felt that they were the happiest, one felt he was the 2nd happiest, and to where they felt everyone else were in comparison to themselves…
My kids both felt I was the happiest in our family (internally I was in shocked), The Hubby thought the opposite, and while I didn’t think I was the least happy, I personally felt I was 2nd to last… So I asked, “Why do you each feel that way about me?
Jazzy said, “You are always happy mommy and if you weren’t then I never know it.”
The Hubby said, “I know you are so aggravated about your injury and you keep telling me how unhappy you are because of it and how it affects you so…”

Yes truly, it’s in the simplest conversation that “Aha” moments are revealed…

Can I first say how blessed, thankful and relieved I am to hear my babygirl say that she never felt what I “perceived” to be unhappy moments or unhappy vibes from me? I now realized how hurt I would’ve been if she had said anything different…
And secondly, can I also say how in that exact moment, I couldn’t have asked for a better mate than the one standing in front of me?

His answers caused my brain to think at a speed I never thought I could.
-          There is no crisis in my life…
-          I am healthy…injured? Yes but healthy with healthy relationships around me…
-          My family is my purpose in life; I have so much to be grateful for…
-          I have a job that is frustrating at times but that I love…
-          And today…this moment…is yesterday’s dream… I made it!

Setbacks and minor problems sometimes take over our minds so that we forget the core of who we are what makes us happy, and we focus on the negative to the point we let our minds talk us out of our own happiness. We harm ourselves by thinking happiness needs to be a constant state of joy, euphoria, bliss, and palpable blessings. And it’s in moments like this, open conversations around the kitchen counter, the innocent moments in our lives that show us we’re happy, even if we’re not conscious of it.

Some people are after 15 minutes of fame. After my injury, I was after 15 minutes of self-pity and I milked it! So here is my life lesson on dealing with “setbacks”:
Setbacks are not an automatic “end of the road” to happiness; it is just part of life…for all of us. While we think our timing is the end all/be all, the universe doesn’t skip a beat in showing us who is in control! It seems I was the only clueless one. If I had to hear one more time “Rose, this is God’s way to tell you to seat your butt down somewhere and slow down,” I think I would’ve blown a fuse among other things!!! But it’s true, there’s always something good in every situation, we just have to take the time to realize
What situation we are in?
Why we are in the situation we’re in?
Allow time to do what it does best and not give in to impatience (Google “impatience” and my picture is right there so…easier said than done!) because the lesson needs to be learned and not overlooked, so you don’t find yourself in the same predicament.

While I was feeling content indulging in my self-imposed misery, I realize now what a slippery slope I was on…
I am thankful my babies never knew me to be unhappy…
I am thankful The Hubby was able to define what I “called” unhappiness to be something trivial and inconsequential…
I am thankful that I know what really matters, and this funk is just a moment in time…

I am thankful that in both case the base of who I am, what I have built, who we are as a unit, and where we are meant to be wasn’t altered and this simply because The place where we are right now, God circled on a map for us!

RosieSandz
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