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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

When You Hear "You're a pretty black girl" Smile and Say “You damn right I am!”

The key to life is being comfortable 'in and out' of your own skin... 'In' your skin enough to truly like who you are, 'out' of it enough to get over yourself.
~BJ Morin

Dark Skinned documentary... My surrogate niece asked me today thru a Facebook post what I thought about the subject. I have been seating on it for a big part of the day and my thoughts have gone 100 different ways… 
I felt upset, then just as fast I felt annoyed at the ignorance...
I felt offended but again quickly, I felt amused at the stupidity…

Black people talk about “shaming” of our ethnicity and racism against our race as if it was other races’ (especially Caucasian’) guilty pleasure. And while that might be as true as me saying the sun will rise tomorrow morning, we can’t ignore the self-hatred (which use to be covert) we now openly and brashly practice customarily against ourselves!
A few years ago I opened a conversation on what I found factual when talking about Self-Hatred. The question was “Self-Hatred is really implemented at an early age... And who is really responsible? The media (All forms of it) or the ones who shaped us (parents, family members, teachers...)?”

Black women, we carry so much luggage. History, past experiences have created -bloodshed, tear drenched- manuals which map ways to a life we should aspire to live by, be appreciated and respected in. Where we should’ve learned from past circumstances and the degrading treatments we endured from others because of our full lips, our wide hips, our luscious curves, our unruly hair but mostly because of the color of our skin, some idiotically chose to validate and perpetrate the behavior. They perpetrate the behavior because the light shade of their skins made them believes they were superior or because the darkness of their skin kept their self-esteem on the low, dark side…
We can’t blame all of it on media. Our direct entourage, the family unit has to take partial responsibility as we engrain behavior from our own behavior.

Now mainstream media is definitely not off the hook… Who in this day and age is invulnerable to social influence?
I could go on about the music business glamourizing the light skinned girls…
I could continue on with the movie business idolizing the light skinned girls…
I could finish with the publishing business that uses the glamourized light skinned singers, the idolized light skinned actress and alter them even more to make them as close as possible to the image of what is viewed as the ultimate beauty (Caucasian beauty) while  maintaining a political correct level of “exoticism”…

My mind has settled as I felt pity for the beautiful black woman (or man) who doesn’t know, who doesn’t see, who doesn’t realize and doesn’t appreciate how beautiful she/he is.
My heart is at peace because I have a beautiful (inside AND out), confident, self-assured and unafraid little girl who EVERY day knows that she is loved. She knows it because she can feel and hear it, and every day she is told how beautiful she is. It's sad to me that there are many many many girls out there that don't feel, hear or know their self-worth...

So you want to know my point of view… Well here it is

Where our similarities should have made us stronger, it made us weaker. Diversity, which is part of the world DNA, instead of being cherished, brought discernment against our differences, ultimately brought racial discrimination and this amongst us!
Why is it that birds of  feather will sometimes congregate together but can’t pledge to look out for one another? Uh?
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” So what happens when you can’t appreciate the basis of who you are? How would you appreciate the similarity of you in someone else? Remember the black in you, that makes you who you are will not go away if and when you put down or take away from your "sister"

Start with loving yourself and you’ll see it is deeper than the color of one’s skin!
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