Saturday, July 22, 2017

Gracefully Growing… 15 Years in the Making.

“Her Smile makes me smile. Her laugh is infectious. Her heart is pure and true.
Above all I love that she is my daughter”

As you may know by now, it has become tradition for me to write (and post) something about your brother (and you), on each of your birthdays. Although I haven’t sat and typed for my blog in about 7 months, I couldn’t sit back and not celebrate you through the words swirling in my mind while I think of you. However, while writing my emotions about you guys has always been an easy task, this time I have tried and failed, numerous times, to write down how I feel about you; my Jazzmenina. 

I can’t help to think that, in my prior life, I must have been so good to the world, to now be blessed with the two of you…
But you Jazzy, I credit you for teaching me how expandable and limitless love can be... When I was only your brother’s mom, I didn’t think it was possible to love any other child with the passion and fierceness that I had for him.  Throughout my pregnancy, I worried and prayed God would not let me fail you. When you finally – so quietly – joined us, my life got fuller, my heart stretched out and made room where I thought there wasn’t any, and my world dramatically got brighter.

You two have created an endless love inside of me, so unbreakable, so unending, which brings me purpose and joy, every day of my life.

During this last year, I have seen the most significant changes in you. Physical changes of course, I see myself staring at you when you are looking and when you are not looking and I can’t help to be marveled at your beautiful face. But what makes me the most proud is me witnessing how your inner beauty shines through. I am witnessing the growth of your mind, and of your heart. Since a young age you have always been confident and comfortable being you but not always willing to understand others. With the years you have learned to share yourself and show compassion and empathy. You have grown into an amazing young woman, you are that girl that I always wished I could be; beautiful (inside and out), confident, AND smart…

I am so incredibly proud of you because every expectation I set for you (and I know at times they are set very high), you have never folded and have always worked to achieve them. Know that I am your biggest cheerleader and I want all your dreams to come true. I never want you to feel undeserving of anything, because you deserve the absolute best that life has to offer and more…
I am so incredibly proud of who you are Jazzy. Dad and I have been pressuring you to let us know what present you would like for your birthday (or what you would like to do) and tonight on the eve of your big 15th birthday you couldn’t come up with an answer. Not because you couldn’t narrow down your options, but because you truly feel like you don’t need anything. THAT makes me want to give you the world…

As age is creeping up on me I can’t help but wonder what the years ahead of me will look like… How, and with what will they be filled with…? I can’t help but wonder who will be holding my hands when my steps become uncertain and less reliable…
Unbeknownst to you, my sweetheart, in your young age, you have managed to put my heart at ease and made those worries just passing thoughts…

The millions of fleeting hugs, kisses and “I love you mommy” you generously shower me EVERY DAY with, are engraved in my heart and soul. How you so freely express your love shows me that you know love because you have experienced love. That is the best gift from me to you and from you to me.

You are gracefully growing so…
Remember always how loved you are
Remember you will always be my sweet baby
Remember you will always be daddy’s little girl
Remember you will always be your brother’s heart
Remember how much you are important to our family

Happy, Happy Happiest birthday my princess Jazzmine….. Wishing you a million days that reflect the possibilities you know you are and that I see in you.

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